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Thread: I have my life back.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    I have my life back.

    Hi there!
    I have been wanting to come on here for a while and try to offer a bit of encouragement to those of you who are suffering as I have. I see a few familiar names still on the site so some of you may remember me. (Not sure if that's a good thing or not!)

    Looking back I think I was always prone to anxiety and excess worrying even as a child but my life fell apart 5 years I go when I started to experience severe panic attacks and contant anxiety. I had palpitations, chest pains, sweating, chills, felt faint and literally shook from the minute I got up in the morning until I went to sleep at night. I had depersonalization, I felt like I was going to go mad at any moment, I was petrified of being alone. The thought of setting foot outside my house was terrifying even though being in it felt no better. I had no "safe" place. I couldn't eat and rapidly lost nearly 3 stone. I lived all day in fear....of everything. That terrible fear of the fear. I looked like I was dying and honestly thought I was. Every minute of the day felt like a year to me. I never ever believed that I could live a "normal" life again. If you look back at all my old posts you will see how bad I was.

    Now for the good news.....I AM living a "normal" life! I would say I was 90% recovered. I have gone on holiday, flown alone, go on long walks with friends, go out for meals and actually enjoy it! I shop, cook and clean my own house (Yes, there was a time when I couldn't even do that!)In fact I can do anything I want. Some days I still feel those symptoms of anxiety lurking but I can cope with them now and just tell myself it's just a blip and that they will go again....and they do. I have had a few difficult situations to deal with in my life over the past couple of years but I have coped without going back to the way I used to be. I had a big bowel operation the year before last and was in hospital for a few weeks which I never thought I could have done but I had no panic attacks and no more anxiety than anyone would have in that situation.

    As to how I recovered, well I can't tell you it was one particular thing. I tried all sorts and even wasted a lot of money on so called "miracle" cures. Let me tell you, they don't exist. It takes time and patience. I found this site and all the wonderful people on it a great help. They were always so supportive when I posted. I listened to lots of relaxation tapes and found the abdominal breathing invaluable. I still use it if I feel a bit panicky. I attended the psychiatric nurse for quite a while and she gave me work sheets to do and also helped with mindfullness and tried EMDR. I also did a telephone recovery course with "No panic" (a different organisation from No More Panic) and also found their telephone helpline brilliant when I was sitting alone panicking like mad. Their helpliners are volunteers but really good. I must have phoned them dozens of times! I also pushed myself to go out and do things even though I felt like I would collapse. I didn't want to let this monster of anxiety get the better of me. It was so hard because I was so scared of what would happen to me although, of course, nothing ever did! It was just my mind fooling me.

    Anyway, I have waffled for far too long. I never meant to write so much but I just wanted you to know how bad my life was and how good it is now. I honestly believe that if I can recover from the awful state I was in then so can you.

    I hope this will help even one or two of you to have a bit of hope. Never give up. You can do it.

    Sending hugs to you all.
    Judy.x
    Last edited by MOJO; 16-02-13 at 10:55.
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    Judy

  2. #2
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    Re: I have my life back.

    Thats so good mojo. Im struggling again big time want my life back how did you get yours back?

  3. #3
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    Nov 2008
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    421

    Re: I have my life back.

    Hello Bev, Nice to see a familiar name but sorry that you're here because you're suffering again. My post was a bit long to read but I did explain some of the things in it that I think helped me. I can't pin it down to one thing. I really think the relaxation tape played faithfully every day helped and I also went for hypnosis and was given a cd to play every night before I went to sleep. It wasn't quick but I definitely noticed I was gradually getting better. I still play it most nights even now. Health anxiety still can be a bit of an issue for me but it doesn't ruin my whole life like it used to.
    I really hope you can find something that helps you make a permanent recovery.

    Judy.x
    Last edited by MOJO; 16-02-13 at 10:54.
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    Judy

  4. #4
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    Re: I have my life back.

    Superb Judy... You are right about miracle cures. It is down to hard work and application when it comes to getting better and you are living proof of that.
    Also how much your time is appreciated for coming back here to share your success.

    Well, I have an opportunity to taken 30min flights out and back for my work. I'm scared of flying, tho I have done it in big plane s when i'm with my partner. The idea of doing it alone is pretty scary to me. How did you accomplish that? I would have to go on quite a small plane and that puts me off. I'd be interested in what worked for you in that respect, cheers.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
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    2,196

    Re: I have my life back.

    Hi judy going through hell at moment getting chest pains and arm and shoulder pain going to see a cardio man tomoz im so scared. I do try and do a relaxion tape when i get chance cos my breathing is always affected. Its great you have come out the other side

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    421

    Re: I have my life back.

    Hi Tessar,
    Thanks for the positive comments on my epistle!

    As to the flying, I started off on a small plane as I live on a Scottish island and the quickest way to get to the mainland (Glasgow) is to fly. My daughters live there and I was determined that I would visit them there as I used to and not have to wait for them to come and see me here. I know I keep on about it but I used the progressive muscle relaxation. I had long since learned it off by heart and just kept doing it for the whole flight (only 30 minutes it's true) I managed to tune in to what I was doing so well that I actually forgot I was in the air! I still do it when flying if I feel a bit anxious.

    Judy.

    ---------- Post added at 22:16 ---------- Previous post was at 22:12 ----------

    Bev, I hope all goes well for you when you see the doctor. I'm as certain as I can be that there's nothing wrong with your heart. We both know so well what an anxious mind can do to your body. I've had all the same symptoms and yet when tested, there was nothing wrong. I'm sure you will be fine.

    Sending you hugs.
    Judy.x
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    Judy

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    2,744

    Re: I have my life back.

    Hello Judy
    It's Lovely to see you're still around and that you're doing so well. Something you've said that I feel is worth highlighting to others...

    As to how I recovered, well I can't tell you it was one particular thing. I tried all sort and even wasted a lot of money on so called "miracle" cures. Let me tell you, they don't exist. It takes time and patience.

    As you've found out, it takes a combination of things together with time, plenty of patience and not forgetting willpower and determination of which you have plenty.

    You're proof that absolutely anyone can overcome their anxiety.

    It's So good to hear you're doing so well.
    __________________
    To be free of anxiety is FREE because the cure is in YOU, tis TRUE!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    1,993

    Re: I have my life back.

    A couple of invaluable points that you have made that work for me are:

    Flying
    I always use progressive muscle relaxation when I am flying, it really does work. I also do my abdominal breathing exercises and before I know it we are landing at our chosen destination.

    Anxiety Recovery
    I am half way through my telephone recover group sessions with No Panic.org(as stated before, not the same charity as this), it has really helped me remember and put in to practice everything I had previously learned when I had CBT. It's really helpful and I am enjoying every minute of it.

    The only other thing I have to say is, positive mental attitude.

    Thank you so much for sharing your success story with us and all the best for the future.

    sarah.x
    Last edited by BobbyDog; 07-02-13 at 08:37. Reason: 's
    __________________
    Every blessed day we wake up to the fullness of pristine purity and innocense free from the pain of the past and fear of the future. 'Carlos Santana'

    BobbyDog

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    421

    Re: I have my life back.

    Thank you for your good wishes BobbyDog and to all those who read my post. I thought long and hard before I posted as I felt it wouldn't be easy to tell my story. To put years of suffering and recovery into one post seemed a bit of a daunting task! It was rather long.....Also I had a few moments when I thought I might be tempting fate by saying I have mostly recovered. However, I know that I really felt encouraged by reading other peoples success stories when I was very ill so I went ahead.

    Judy.

    __________________
    Judy

  10. #10

    Re: I have my life back.

    "I didn't want to let this monster of anxiety get the better of me. It was so hard because I was so scared of what would happen to me although, of course, nothing ever did! It was just my mind fooling me."

    Best sentences I've ever read here.

    Good job MOJO, I'm on the road to recovery too You can read it on my diary
    __________________
    Things I'm telling myself:
    - Be patient
    - If anybody else can be cured. so am I.
    - Don't be so hard to yourself
    - Enjoy life.

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