difficulty swallowing, phobia of choking
in mid 2012, i began avoiding stringy foods like spinach, calamari etc. incase they got stuck in my throat. then in september i developed a phobia of eating in public, sometimes i would sneak in a bit of food here in there but tiny amounts. then in early January this year i had a panic attack in the car 2 hours after seeing someone choke, and i had this weird constant thought that im not able to swallow. since then that same thought is always going through my head, and over the past month my anxiety has been daily but it did calm down for about 4 days a few weeks ago. when i try to eat i feel very sleepy, i chew and chew before i swallow and i get a zap of anxiety when i feel it go down because im scared im choking and it wont go down, i also feel nausea. sometimes if i feel really bad anxiety i cant drink. i try eating in different rooms, places, positions nothing helps at all. i cant eat infront of anyone especially. my psychologist says i have panic disorder and am agoraphobic. i also am not able to swallow my own saliva in public places, apart from doctors surgerys and my psychologist clinic. i live off vitamin milk drinks (up&go's) and food thats soft and easy to swallow. i went to the hospital yesterday distressed, losing weight and anxiety getting worse. they gave me 3 ativan pills which ive never taken anything like that before, they refused to keep me there. and im seeing a psychiatrist in 9 days to discuss long term medication. i'm only 14 so my GP wont prescribe me anything for the anxiety shes leaving it upto the psychiatrist. im scared, worried because ive been living in my room constantly having anxiety and losing weight. i havent tried the ativan yet, and i also cant swallow tablets so how can i get one down? my mum is on antidepressants for OCD and anxiety. what should i do!! all i want to do is sleep and im very depressed
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