Hate my self so much and don't like leaving the house

[willow30]

Hi everyone i just don't know how much more i can take i literally hate the way i look to the point i cry most days and i stare at my self in the mirror constantly i am always checking my flaws and looking at how bad they are i also take pictures of mt flaws and then compare them to old photo's i am literally going insane. I have no life what so ever i cant look people in the eye when i speak because i feel so self concious and people cant help but look at my flaws i.e my teeth they are awful really terrible and i cant afford to get them fixed also my hair its going so grey and i also feel i am going bald on top and i just cant relax or concentrate on anything just that my hair is falling out and grey and my teeth are in a bad way. I am positive i have BDD i have so many symptoms but my flaws are real even thou my friend who is an hairdresser told me i am not going bald also my fiancee and son said im not but i see how thin and bald my hair looks on top i am getting worse and worse i feel everyone is staring at me when we go out and i cant relax or enjoy myself i panic and go very sick and start to shake i dont know what nmy fiancee see's in me i am falling apart i have never come across anyone as ugly as me i don't know how much more i can take of this life i want to be normal and look normal have nice hair and teeth and beable to leave my house without worry and feeling sick sorry for going on and on i just dont have anyone to talk to as everyone calls me stupid but i'm not i know what see and i know everyone else is lieing to me thanks for reading and hope everyone is well

[panickyme]

Awww I'm sorry you are not feeling so well, I bet you are adorable!!!!!!! Panic/anxiety is mentally and physically draining. I do the same as you I look in the mirror, and I see the toll stress has taken on me. I have some grey, (shhhhh, I hide that with color) and I feel like I am wrinkling like a prune. Beauty comes from the inside, you fiancé loves you for you. Try really hard not to think of what others are thinking, because I am sure that they are not even looking at you, it is just a feeling we get. Hope you feel better.

[Daisy Sue]

hi Willow. it's so sad to read how badly you feel about yourself, your appearance.. i'm sure your view is distorted, and it's your sadness which is making you feel this way.

could your hairdresser friend give you a cheap deal on a hair colour and cut? maybe that would brighten you up a little with regard to your hair.

i know this is slightly different, but years ago when i'd been really ill, i weighed around 6 stone... and felt great, attractive... my family told me i looked like a skeleton. only now, when i look back at photos of myself from then can i see and agree with what they were saying. it's incredible how our minds can distort what we're seeing in the mirror!

[willow30]

Thank you so much for your replys and for being so understanding and the lovely words i have just ordered some hair dye so im hoping to get rid of the greys i just cant stand who i am anymore i used to be such a confident happy person and loved going out and people used to say i was pretty and so on but as i have got older all my confidence has gone and i just look dreadful i can not see any nice features on me at all i just want a normal happy life instead of torturing myself day in and out...Sorry to hear your having a few apperance issues panickyme it just eats you alive and i really do hope my mind is distorting how bad i actually look i just can't relax because everyone stares at me like i am an alien and i think its that that is actually affecting me the most thanks again for replying x

[Annie0904]

Willow I just want to send you some hugs and remind you that you are a beautiful caring person.

[gem7]

i am like this too i dont like leaveing the house i feel people stare to when i go out and i cant relax or enjoy myself i hate myself too so i know how u feel if you ever need a chat pm me x

[Rain]

I would imagine therapy is the only cure for BDD. There might be something at the root of all this, such as having had an overly critical parent in childhood for example.

Try to remind yourself that how we look is of no consequence compared to the importance of what is in our hearts and how we conduct ourselves. I hope things improve for you.

[Tessar]

Oh willow...... Please don't worry yourself too much about your appearance. Everybody, even the so called good looking ones have issues about what they look like. You know what? Remember this.... Ok, so some if these actors, actresses etc might look good, but I really do wonder how many of them would be as much of a genuine, kind and caring person such as you are? I may not have met you, but that's immaterial. You sound to me like a very warm and sensitive person.
Be kind to yourself willow, please .......
Do it for me and them I promise I won't look at myself in the mirror and see an ageing person.
Instead I will tell myself to look for the cheerful person that everyone tells me I am.
Is that a deal?

[theharvestmouse]

Don't compare yourself to others, I know thats difficult but try to focus on how you are as a person, that is what's important in life. It does not matter how you look, every single person will grow old, so looks are not what count.

[Pigeon]

Hi Willow,
I'm so sorry to hear how you're feeling. But it's a good thing you recognise something's wrong. Not sure if you have yet, but the next step is getting help.
It can't possibly be true that everyone you compare yourelf is more attractive than you. I know you don't believe this now but the great things in life is that people come in differnt shapes and sizes. We are not valued purely on how we look or most of us would be feeiling the same as you. We all have flaws, signs of aging or parts of our body we don't like and we have to work much harder at it as we get older !!

My personal views are how someone looks doesn't count all all. How they feel about themslves and how they treat others is what makes them attractive. You sound like such a lovely person and you don't deserve to be feeling as you do. Go and see your GP and see what can be offered inthe way of therapy or counselling.
lots of big hugs
Pigeon
PS just another thing I thought of. I have a 23 year old niece who is STUNNINGLY beautiful. tall, this and drop dead gorgeous - a real head turner - and doesn't she know it. I just found out today that she has had breast enlargement surgery for the first time. I feel sorry for her as she must have some kind of BDD herself - but I have to say that she's a very unkind, arrogant and superficial girl who treats people really badly. I do love her as she's my family but I know who'd I'd rather have as a friend.

---------- Post added at 12:43 ---------- Previous post was at 12:41 ----------

Sorry, I meant she had surgery for the THIRD time, not first!