The Inconsistency of Agoraphobia and Social Anxiety

[Rain]

I have noticed that my agoraphobia and social anxiety are very inconsistent. A couple of weeks ago I had to go out in the car to the chiropodist. I had no choice as I had an in-growing toenail. Despite the fact that it was chucking it down with rain and there were huge puddles on the roads making the car journey more nerve-wracking, I felt calm and really happy to be out in the world. I felt I coped very well with the appointment as I have very bad social anxiety. I came home feeling really pleased with myself.

Fast forward to yesterday. I went out again as a passenger in the car with my partner, just to a local garage/shop 10 miles away. This time I felt jittery about going out even before we started. It was a lovely sunny day but I felt nervy being outside. I had to stay in the car while my partner got some shopping. The whole time I was worried, and imagining things like that the driver of the car that pulled up behind was going to want ‘our’ petrol pump and would get angry and bang on the window.

Does anyone else find their agoraphobia and social anxiety hard to fathom? Why are we ‘good’ some days and hopeless the next?

[flossie]

Well done for getting to the chiropodist. I hope your toe is all sorted now.
You have managed to keep those dental appointments too. Do you think that you find it better when you have something to focus on, a definite aim rather than having time to let your mind wonder and start thinking of the 'what if's?'

[BobbyDog]

Yes, I agree with you on this.

What I have found though is - I mentally scan my body for any physiological changes before I go out or when I have to interact with anybody. If I find any anxiety related changes e.g. my vision is blurred, my muscles ache, my chest feels tight etc.
I then get nervous about having to make eye contact, or that someone may speak to me, or I have to pass someone in the isle of the supermarket etc.
If I am physically relaxed and do not focus internally, I usually have the confidence to go out and am not so afraid to speak to people.

All depends on the day, no rhyme or reason to the inconsistencies really!

[jefferina]

I totally agree with you.One day you feel like your getting somewhere the next day its like back to square one.I have social anxiety to its a nightmare at times. Sometimes i will get the guts to go to a pub with my husband and I would feel great but then if someone walks in that I no I would completely freak out. The worst thing to all this is that its my own brain and my own thought process doing this to me

[ricardo]

I can relate with that Rain but my wife says I am paranoid. I often feel that everyone is looking at me and try and avoid eye contact but don't always manage to do that but that is usually when I am in the street alone even a short way from my house.

I get the feeling that whoever passes me by is going to attack me .I have had this feeling for years but when I am distracted by anything like walking with my wife and taling as an example, it goes out of my mind and I am reasonably calm.

[little wren]

Rain - As regards agoraphobia - I sometimes find it hard to do things the second time after Ive conquered it once - its like all the pressure that the first time went so well and so I expect to be able to do it again and I don't want to ruin my achievement (aren't things supposed get easier the more you do them?). I look at it as blip - kind of like a wiggly line on a graph and think I'm ok as long as the graph is going in the right direction.

[Col]

Hi rain one thing i noticed comparing the two incidants is the first one you were driving & the second your partner??? IS control a factor do u think?? Distance from home also??? I know both distance from my home and me not driving - set me off to different degrees.

[beautifulfreak77]

hi im agoraphobic and have panic disorder..i totally get what you mean some days i go out and feel good and feel i can go places and it not bother me then another day just stepping outside i wanna cry and get all panicky...it is very strange...
just gotta keep at it tho push ourselves to go out when we dont want to...

[kittikat]

Hi rain one thing i noticed comparing the two incidants is the first one you were driving & the second your partner??? IS control a factor do u think?? Distance from home also??? I know both distance from my home and me not driving - set me off to different degrees.

I would say exactly the same for me too Col...it is a control and distance from home issue. I am fine very locally driving inmy car, I know my comfortable limits. If someone offers to drive me somewhere I cannot do it. I am also much better if my partner is out with me, he has become my safe person. Kitti x

[clio51]

Rain,
No two days can be the same for me, one day I'm able to go somewhere the next I can be full of fear. Like its said thought once you done it ok it's supposed to be easier lol.
Because of anxiety if I see anybody I know when I'm out I will avoid as much as possible as I can feel all those dreaded feeling building up and get away. I know this is not the answer but it's the way I cope with it. It as got worse as time as gone on and I don't think I'll ever conquer it.