2013 Agoraphobia Thread

[beautifulfreak77]

yes hormones i hate them....and congratulations on the job..and well done for going into town

[little wren]

Has anyone been out and about with their dog? Mine is a pup and I'm scared he will just sit down and not 'shift his butt' when I need to get home. He's too big to pick up. He also pulls on the lead - any tips?

[Pinktel]

Right, here are my tips

Firstly check those mental images of not being able to rush home, that is your anticipatory anxiety right there challenge it with your CBT as you know there will be no real valid reason why you suddenly have to be home and one way or another you WILL get home, you always have done and always will.

Secondly you won't be going far, plan your route even if it is just 5 minutes.

Work out on your analysis sheet what your absolute concern is about being stuck outside with the panic, boil it down to its most fundamental concern,( ie for me it's basically I am now going to stop breathing,then die or go mad and be committed to an asylum! ).

Then pick some tasty treats like bits of sausage or cheese or something, stuff some in your pocket and I guarantee there will be no sniffs on your stroll that are more interesting than your treats and if you need help persuading him to walk where you want the food will do the trick.

Good luck you can do it, remember to keep the task realistic and achievable

[little wren]

Pinktel - thanks -but I'm wondering one point - I know you've followed CBT I am still reading Robins lit. but he says 'go towards the panic' not away from it. So when/if the panic comes am I supposed to just stand there and let it come (my fear is I will lose control and run out into the road taking puppy with me). How are you getting on Pinktel? you always take time to help everyone else out. x

[Alabasterlyn]

Has anyone been out and about with their dog? Mine is a pup and I'm scared he will just sit down and not 'shift his butt' when I need to get home. He's too big to pick up. He also pulls on the lead - any tips?

Yes we go out and about with our dogs. We have one old dog who gets tired out half way on her walk and a nearly 11mth old puppy. When we got the puppy she hadn't been leash trained and as soon as she had the lead on her she would just sit down and refuse to move! What we were told to do by the teacher at dog training was to put her lead on when she is in the house and just let her walk around with it to get used to it which did help. You could maybe take some treats with you if your pup decides he doesn't want to move and then praise him when he does walk properly. With the pulling on the lead we were told to stop and walk back a few paces so that the dog realises the more they pull the harder it is for them to get anywhere.

[Pinktel]

Little wren, boil your fear down more, what happens when you lose control and run into the road? Do you get run over? Do you collapse and die..... Tell me what happens next you aren't getting to the underlying fear yet... What does "losing control" mean to you...

[flossie]

[QUOTE=little wren;1127565]Pinktel - thanks -but I'm wondering one point - I know you've followed CBT I am still reading Robins lit. but he says 'go towards the panic' not away from it. So when/if the panic comes am I supposed to just stand there and let it come (my fear is I will lose control and run out into the road taking puppy with me). How are you getting on Pinktel? you always take time to help everyone else out. x[/QUOT

You won't run into the road. You won't run anywhere. You are a very rational person who can make decisions even when experiencing high anxiety. The very worst that would happen is that you will turn round and walk back toward your front door. That is all.
The more you take pup out the more confident you will become about trusting yourself.
Taking my pup out was how I started. Your attention will be more focused on him than yourself. Don't forget that they only need little walks themselves to start with, it is a big world full of smells and noises they have to get used to, so it is an ideal time to get used to it together. If pup sits down then become the most interesting thing in the world. Jump up and down, calling him and making silly noises if that is what it takes. You will work out what holds his attention as you go along. Walk up and down the road in front of your house to start with if you want. You are in charge to do as much or as little as you choose.
Walk with a straight back and your head held high. Pretend that you are the most confident person in the world. If we can convince ourselves so easily that we are unable to go out then the reverse also is true.
Enjoy going out and showing your puppy off to the world.

[little wren]

Flossie Yes I think I will distance myself from the thoughts (observe them instead of engaging with them and giving them importance). It is the 'what if' scenario. I hope pup will help me get out and about too.

Pinktel I don't think Ive really understood that part of the lit. yet. I suppose I should really pm Robin - try and make sure Ive got it. I don't think Ive understood why getting to the underlying fear would help.

Lyn - he is going to be a big boy when grown and stopping lead pulling is crucial if I will ever feel confident walking him. I think combining lead training (focus away from anxiety) and going out. Eating is one of his favourite hobbies and yes treats are always taken whenever he goes out even with hubby. x

The lit says make sure you've understood before taking gradual exposure - but I am looking at tomorrow early morning. My hubby is coming out of hospital tonight we think and I will only ever venture out even to the bins if he is available to me even by phone. The pup has been trapped in the house with me whilst hubby in hoppy (6 days now) and he needs to go out. x If Ive got it right then Ive got it right if not then tough!

[flossie]

little wren. What are you frightened will happen to you if you go out alone, even to the bins? Can you explain it to us. It doesn't matter how silly it might feel to express it, we all have our thoughts that are equally daft. Just seeing it written down may take some of the fear away for you and maybe between us we can break it down into something less threatening for you to manage.

[Pinktel]

Little wren getting to the underlying fear is part of it as this is what you are subconsciously or consciously scared will happen, your anticipatory anxiety will work constantly to reinforce to you that this supposed fear will happen and that is why we avoid and carry out safety behaviours to protect ourselves and keep us safe.
As part of the re training we must identify our absolute basic fears because you then need to examine the reasons why we think this may happen and also consider rational real reasons why we think it may not happen. You can write this all down as a powerful reinforcing tool. Then after the event you write up what actually happened, the fact that your feared consequences did NOT happen, and that it was the anxiety making you think it would happen that is all.

So here would be one of my examples...

Situation... I got scared to driving my kids to school and walking them in.

What was I scared would happen... (really boil this down don't just say well I am scared I will panic infront of people, play it out to the actual basic fear, this would usually be death, being committed to a mental hospital cos you have gone mad etc)... So for me in this situation it may be.. I will be unable to breathe and so will die or my heart will start up a fatal arrthymia and I will die (see how I have taken what symptoms affect me most in a panic attack ie shortness of breath and palpitations and carried them through to what the worst they could do to me are, not enough to just say I am scared of having palpitations, it needs to be what those palpitations will DO to me)

Now I would take both those fears, stopping breathing and fatal heart arrhythmia and for each one I will list the reasons I think this is true. So for example for stopping breathing I would say, my chest feels tight, I can't take a deep satisfying breath, I feel dizzy etc

Next you list all the reasons why you will NOT stop breathing in a panic attack. So I would say, my GP has told me NOBODY just stops breathing ever in a panic, my chest feels tight because this is a muscular reaction from anxiety, I have never stopped breathing before from the thousands of panics over the years etc

Then the crucial conclusions can be drawn and written down, ie, that despite feeling that I was unable to breathe, all the symptoms were being caused by anxiety, and so I was never in danger of stopping breathing.

The practise and repetition of this begins to erode your cognitions, which is so important as this is how you will change your thinking. It feels a bit boring, you think oh well I know all this now I don't need to write it all up and fill in the sheets but it is a very important structured path that works on your cognitions. This is the way to practise new thoughts.

This is how you can tackle your own thoughts and over turn them.

Keep your first trip small, like you say just out in the garden, keep near your house, prepare yourself don't do it before you are ready. Have you begun to de sensitise yourself to the feared symptoms you have? Robin has a great section on this which saw me breathing through a straw to mimic my feared symptom of how I feel when I am anxious to start with I could only do it for 10 seconds my kids thought it was hilarious and all wanted to do it. I think that was a powerful moment for me as I began to laugh at the stupid feelings I give myself

Preparation is the key on this and the great thing we probably all have in common is that we are great at preparation, as being agoraphobic we leave nothing to chance, we don't fly by the seat of our pants, we think through every scenario a thousand times, that is why you will be GREAT at preparing yourself for your little trips and great at analysing everything afterwards and DISPROVING your own thoughts xx