2013 Agoraphobia Thread

[robinhall]

Hi Auntie Moose

Just wanted to say thank you for encouraging others to try CBT4PANIC - it has clearly helped you which is really great.

I hope you don't mind if I add something to your post - that while eventually learning to stay with panic for prolonged periods through controlled graduated exposure is very important - it is equally as important that people know HOW to do this without becoming overwhelmed.

Some people try too much too soon and then they get put off the idea of exposure (or CBT) altogether.

Auntie Moose is doing so well because she followed the correct steps - she learned the necessary cognitive and behavioural skills needed BEFORE she undertook gradual exposure work.

Without these skills and an understanding of how and why exposure practice works I wouldn't suggest that anyone just tries to 'stick it out'. You could either feel under considerable pressure or feel overwhelmed. Even during controlled exposure practice it's not always easy to stay with it.

The best thing is to get some CBT or work through CBT4PANIC

I know you (Auntie Moose) meant all this in your post so I hope you don't mind me clarifying this point which you know is vital

Robin

[Col]

Hi all. Mine was breakdown then severe tick all the box, panic attacks then ~ agrophobia crept in for 6 months of my life! The only thing I had to do and imperatively COULD NOT avoid was school run, a 5 minute drive up the road! Luckily my daughter, being 8-9 and she was sensible enough fo me to tell her that I wasnt able to walk to the school entrance and plus had a 1 year old ~ I was exhausted and petrified and felt strange and that's why I wanted to just stay home! So my daughter would wave to me as she walked through the school gate, I'd turn round cross a little road , jump in the car and whizz off! Didn't want to talk to other mums like I used to and I used to stand and chat sometimes up to a good 40 minutes after kids had all gone into school! That was my day! I'd order food via the web and any extras milk & bread I'd text hubby & ask on his way home can you get some plz! 6 months and the guilt especially as I used to be so up and go with the kids I'm the type of mum who felt guilty before I was a panic sufferer , if I didn't take my kids out most days in the hols! My daughter is my saving grace in a way because being gun to the head forced to send your kids to school, u can't get out of that for a week NEVER mind 6 months! And yep I could have asked my friend to get her and did a few times but, I still HAD to take my little girl in the end. I thought well being such a crap mum right now , it's the least I can do getting her to school and back is her right and I DID NOT want my illness to affect her schooling! It used to get to 2pm and knowing school run was imminent, my heart would race like I'd ran a marathon CONSTANTLY . A few times I'd drive crying my eyes out with my little baby in the car. It took 6MONTHS to calm down and do school run without a surge of adrenaline.

I'm improved not better, never will be. Im Not giving up but when you feel sosooooo bad every time your out, why would anyone want to bother, the feelings/sensations are horrendous, any respite from that even if it's not the right respite, I'd quite easily resort to, even now! It's no fun any way when you feel like crap every time your out! NOW I do go out , go park again, do shopping myself BUT I feel like I'm crumbling inside 2 yrs on ~ still not recoverd. I just have learnt that in a way I have to plod on and tell myself " Collette you feel like this every time, nothings gonna happen you'll be home soon"!

Robin hall, exposure and all these techniques when you have dependants - is not a choice, I used a common sense approach and adopted little and often mantra! I'd set a goal and I'd walk to first lamp post and do this a few times and then try walking to the next post! I started a hobby to take my mind off me, slept more and started eating a bit better, I tried Manukau honey and tapping and they did help!

[AuntieMoosie]

Hi there Robin

Yes I agree 100% with what you've said and I'm glad you have added that as it is very important

I've still got a way to go myself yet, it's something I'm having to constantly work with all the time that I'm out.

I, sadly, still haven't managed to go anywhere on my own yet Robin

I've tried having my partner stay in the car while I go in a sit in the doctors waiting room on my own and I've sometimes had him park then I'll go into a small shop on my own, I seem to be able to manage to do that now But I'm still petrified of going completely alone

I've got myself a bit stuck on quite how I plan that move??....even when thinking about it, and now, by me just posting about it, I can feel panic welling up and I'm frightened

Robin can you possibly give me any guidance on how I can tackle this next stage, cos I'm stuck with it??

Many thanks

[robinhall]

Hi Auntie Moose

I wouldn't want to cause any confusion by trying to answer that in the short space of a forum reply so we could discuss it via PMs and then maybe post some of that to the forum at a later date?

Can I at least say here that you ARE moving forward slowly but surely so give yourself a pat on the back for that. Isn't it great too that you want to do MORE exposure

It will just be a matter of careful planning.

Robin

[nomorepanic]

One session.... Just one. That's the price you pay for private.

I saw a private therapist and the sessions were £95 for 50 minutes

£250 is way over the top !

[little wren]

it is equally as important that people know HOW to do this without becoming overwhelmed.

Some people try too much too soon and then they get put off the idea of exposure (or CBT) altogether.


...learned the necessary cognitive and behavioural skills needed BEFORE she undertook gradual exposure work.

Without these skills and an understanding of how and why exposure practice works I wouldn't suggest that anyone just tries to 'stick it out'. You could either feel under considerable pressure or feel overwhelmed. Even during controlled exposure practice it's not always easy to stay with it.

The best thing is to get some CBT or work through CBT4PANIC


Robin

Hi Robin

Well said! I have always thought that part of tackling agoraphobia is knowing that I have a toolkit of coping mechanisms to see me through when I am outside and start feeling unwell. Perhaps its about confidence in coping skills.

kittikat
Thanks for letting me know cbt is available on the NHS and that it has helped. I think I am going to ask psych. if I am eligible for cbt for agoraphobia. Will not get my hopes up though as I don't think its part of NICE guidelines (correct me if I'm wrong anyone) so I will not be able to argue my case for it very well, but I definitely want to give it a go if he says ok.

---------- Post added at 08:34 ---------- Previous post was at 08:26 ----------

Hi everyone,

I would like to be able to walk my dog too little wren, and i know rain would too, maybe this is something we can all help each other to do over the summer?
Hugs to you all
Stelly xxxx

Stelly

That is a good idea - it's strange how something so simple like dog walking is difficult. The good thing about this is I know I cannot get out of it as our dog needs time to unwind outside and hubby cannot always do it. Nice to know others understand.

little wren x

[flossie]

It's great that so many are joining in this thread and sharing their story. Hopefully others will join in too along the way.
So, it is one thing saying 'I want to feel better about going it' and another thing to actually putting in the time to learning the coping skills and then exposing ourselves to putting them into practise.
What are you immediate goals? Is there something you want to be able to do but can't work out how to go about it?
For myself, I need to go back to basics. I have fallen back over the winter but on the positive side I feel that I will be able to move forward to where I was in recovery if I take it steadily. Starting from today I will focus on my breathing and relaxation exercises. My head has been a bit muddled lately and I haven't been able to concentrate or had the motivation to do anything.
Getting back to doing the meditation each day I know will help me. I find it really balances me emotionally.
I am not going to worry about going out at this point. As long as I do go out that front door at some time every day is good.

My dog has been brilliant for me. He has been so important in my going out. I was housebound with agoraphobia for 20 years and getting Ollie is the best thing I have done ever. For those of you who have a dog take advantage of having them as a tool to getting out. Dogs don't care where they go as long as they do go out. Just take them to the nearest tree or lamp post at first. Up and down the road, then to the post box. I cannot describe to you the first time I posted a letter myself, I was on a high for days. With a dog you can walk up a street and turn round at any time without feeling as self conscious as you might if on your own. I started going out with him in the evening, no one would see me panic or that I had poo'd my pants or wet myself, being out was more impotant. I would only be going down the road so I could get back home if I needed to. And guess what? I didn't do any of those things that had kept me in for years and years. Don't think of it as having to go out, do it because it is what you want to do. Wanting to go out just to please myself rather than feeling I have to because of what everyone else wants or expects of me has been a big and important change of thinking for me.
Especially at this time of year when everything is springing back to life, step outside of your front door, breath in the fresh air and feel the sun on your face. Listen to the birds and just enjoy it.
Anyway, I have rambled on from my original reason for posting.
I am going to start my meditation and breathing again.
What would you like to do to move forward with recovery?

[Kells81]

Hi everyone.
I had emetophobia from a very young age and this escalated into agoraphobia a few years ago-mainly due to all my avoidance through emetophobia. The agoraphobia gradually got worse and worse until I was house bound for several months, I'm now at the point where I can leave the house and go for a drive on my own for a few miles but I don't get out the car, I can also go to the local shops with my mum occasionally. My life is extremely restricted at the moment.
One thing that has always helped me, especially when I am going through a stage of not leaving the house it to keep a diary with weekly goals. Each Monday at the top of the page I write my weekly goal eg to drive a certain distance- I then highlight this in green. Each day I write everything I do and if I reach my goal I highlight that entry green as well. If I do anything else that I think is a real achievement I highlight that it pink. at the end of the week i put a tick or cross next to my weekly goal. The next week I then have the same goal if I didn't do it the week before or I have a new goal-one that I think is more challenging.
This method really works for me as it allows me to tick off progress, I also get to the point where I want lots of goals achieved so I try really hard to do this.
It is great being able to look back and seeing all the green and pink entries, especially when I'm having a bad day a feel like I can't do anything.
This week my goal was to drive specific circlular route twice in one week-I have done it once this week so far so I know that if I don't do it tonight I can't tick off my weekly task and I will have it again next week!

[steveo]

I saw a private therapist and the sessions were £95 for 50 minutes

£250 is way over the top !

This isn't a private therapist. He is a consultant psychiatrist. The most senior in south wales.

[flossie]

steveo: Was he able to give you any advice and help?