Where do I begin?

[ABrownUSA]

I guess I'll begin with a Hello to all.

I finally decided to stop Google trolling into this forum trying to find other people with my symptoms. This might be a long post, but I don't have anyone to really talk to about this, or whom would even understand to begin with. So I'm going to just leave this open and type as things come to mind...

I think I have always been an anxious person, that could partly be caffeine induced. I have literally avoided water for years and my main source of liquid/water has been Coke for years! Then my caffeine intake got worse with Red Bulls, coffee and Coke all day, everyday for years! I have never really eaten healthy, yet I'm a tall slender guy that just doesn't gain weight no matter how much CRAP I eat. I rarely have eaten fruits, or anything "healthy" for that matter. I do however eat vegetables when they are served with dinner. In a nutshell I'm saying my diet is/was probably SHIAT! I would be considered a heavy smoker, with at least a pack a day smoked! I NEVER work out and I really hate sweating! I actually think I'm allergic to sweating "that's a joke".

1. 1-2x16oz Red Bulls per day
2. 1-2x12oz Cups of coffee per day "I'd like coffee with my sugar please basically"
3. 4-6x12oz Coke's per day

My life has been no barrel of peaches and I have avoided most stressful situations most of my life! I have a ton of skeletons in the closet and a pretty bad child hood. I think my past could go on for hours, so i'll skip the beginning and go to current.

On December 21st I experienced my first panic attack. I don't know if it was emotions being the wife and I had it out and she left out of state with the kids for the holidays. Either or something triggered, I panicked and I was thinking the world was about to end "stupid Mayan crap". I felt everything go cold, quiet, things felt weird, objects seemed to be 2D, heart racing, couldn't swallow, I couldn't breathe. I txted my wife that I loved her and to tell the kids I loved them, I felt like I was going to die. I truly thought in my head the world was coming to an end, or for that matter maybe I was coming to an end. Drove myself to the hospital immediately being it's literally down the road. Got to the hospital and had a heart rate of 140+ and I felt like passing out! All in all I was able to calm down, gather my thoughts and try to focus on WTF just happened to me! Doctors told me I had a panic attack and that everything was OK! Yay I felt better, I felt safe, and I left the hospital. I felt secure that what just happened was a “HOLY CRAP” moment and everything would be fine. Of course I went home to the house alone, nobody to talk to, feeling depressed about what just happened, thinking way to much about things "I've always been a huge day dreamer...”I think that's how I escape". But yet I was able to move on for the next few days feeling fine! I took that stressful situation and did as I always do; swallowed it, forgot about it and moved on. The wife/kids came home a couple of days later and I was super happy! Ohhhhh it was short lived to say the very least. I ended up getting very sick with an upper respiratory infection, couldn't breathe etc. Then one morning while being sick I woke up and I can't really say how I felt, other than I felt like I was dreaming, disconnected, everything 2d, just like the first panic attack "except worse", "where was I 2 seconds ago WTF", still but walking, talking etc! BOOOOMMMM sent me into another panic attack and this one was worse than the first one. Once again drove myself to the ER, where all the usual's were done...CT, blood work, chest, heart, cancer screens etc. Everything came out fine and it was ruled another damn panic attack. This is where the nightmare begins in my opinion!

Two months later looking back, I had a two severe panic attacks! But I have not felt the same since and my life went spinning downwards. I went to see a GP, whom assumed "probably hit it on the nail, I just wanted to assume the worst" that I was now suffering from GAD. She prescribed me 10mg of Lexapro and Ativan as needed. I trusted her judgment and left the office feeling confident I was going to have a little help to get me through this FOG! After 2 days on the Lexapro, things got 5x worse to say the least! I was having panic attacks, SUPER headaches, ears ringing, head buzzing, light headed, loss of appetite and just generally miserable! So I googled everything, every symptom etc etc etc and I had every disease in the book! She never told me about the side effects and I never thought to ask "I know foolish"! So I kept taking it for another two days and boy did it get worse! So I was instructed to drop it down to 5mg a day until my next appt. My ears were ringing so LOUD I couldn't sleep at all and brain fog, just all around DISCONNECTED! My head was constantly in pain and the head BUZZING was driving me nuts! So I called in again and told her what was going on. She then took me off the Lexapro and put me on 20mg of Prozac and Clonazepam as needed. Once again I didn't think to ask about side effects, nor was she forth coming about them. I would say for the most part the Prozac was "Ok" for the first 3 days. But then the SEVERE headaches and head buzzing all came back with a VENGEANCE! Now my ear ringing was at an all-time new level of HELL! But I said “screw” it I’m going to stick this out for another week, maybe these things will surpass! Still feeling UNREAL as hell and quite frankly miserable, I tried to do things as normal. Went to a state park with the family and couldn’t enjoy a damn thing! The severe headaches, feeling spacey, feeling like a dream, ears ringing, and head buzzing got to me! But I did my best to avoid them that day being my kids were around and I didn’t want them to see dad was in pain. As we’re driving home, I’m still in a daze and I just feel disconnected…My entire left side go’s numb while driving! Yet I don’t freak out, I don’t go into panic mode; I just pull over and take a little breather. I thought to myself “awesome I didn’t have a panic attack, I feel like SHIAT and I don’t know what’s going on but I’m not dying”. I call the on call doctor when I get home, I tell her what happened and ask should I be worried. She tells me to stop the Prozac immediately until I see the GP in 3 days. She also tells me that if my left side go’s numb again to immediately go to the ER and tell them I was instructed to come in and tell them “TIA”. So I go on about my night, feeling like crap with my head THUNDERING/Buzzing and my ears ringing. I wake up in the morning and I feel “ok” as it turns out. Minus the fact that my mornings are probably the worst for me! Booom eating breakfast and my entire left side go’s numb once again! I don’t panic as I don’t feel horrible, but I’m going to go to the ER as instructed. Come to find out “TIA” is like a little mini stroke and when I tell the intake nurse, she immediately rushes me back! Turns out she says she noticed “facial paralysis” on my left hand side and I could be having a stroke. Well as it turns out I was not, after the battery of test all turned out fine.

The only way I can explain it, is that I feel like I'm now suffering from chronic derealization since the second panic attack. I dropped the caffeine overnight and have barely touched a drop since quitting cold turkey! The headaches have not gone away, nor has the buzzing in my head or the ear ringing. I just do my best every day to tell myself this is just anxiety “for what I don’t know” and it will resolve itself after my brains had a little time to heal. I can’t think of much else to type right now, but I definitely want to hear what others have to say.

My symptoms day to day

1. Head aches in different places, sometime bad and SOMETIMES HORRIBLE
2. Left ear ringing
3. Brain fog
4. Head buzzing
5. Forgetfulness
6. Obsessing over what's wrong
7. Dizzy
8. Lost 14lbs over 3 weeks
9. Morning confusion
10. Heart pounding for no reason
11. Heart beating out of chest when I wake up
12. Lost 14lbs over 3 weeks
13. Heart pounds when i stand up after laying down for a while
14. Super dizzy and disoriented in a dark environment
15. Hands tremors?
16. Sometimes numb legs
17. Depressed now because of all this
18. Legs are real jumpy when sitting...like constantly moving...bouncing them
19. I fear i'm losing my mind and wont recover from this
20. There are probably a few more...But the one that bothers me the most is the "derealization" i have going on...

Going to stop for a while...this probably all doesn't make since and i probably skipped a bunch...just don't know where to begin.


Adam

---------- Post added at 14:06 ---------- Previous post was at 13:54 ----------

PS...Forgot to add...I'm no longer taking any meds daily. I have however taken Clonazepam .25 like 3-6 at different times over the last week when my head was killing me, or I couldn't sleep because of the ringing in my ear. I will go on record saying that within about 30-45 mins every time after taking the pill, the head buzzing goes away, ears aren't ringing as loud and I feel relaxed...So i really don't know what the deal is there...maybe I do need the SSRIs... don't know

[ABrownUSA]

If only the headaches, ringing and full ears would go away! I went to the ENT and he says there is nothing wrong with my ears! Waking up in the morning is horrible, I'm dizzy, light headed and almost always my head is pounding for about the first hour of waking up! Anytime I lay down my heart start's beating out of my chest for no reason, which makes me start to wonder WTF! Yet I don't panic, I just lay there and it eventually go's away. Does anxiety do all of this mess? Even though I can't think of anything i'm anxious over other than this crap i have going on. I should be able to lay down and not get up feeling like my heads going to explode or my heart is going to bust out of my chest! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I'm having a ruff time with understanding what's going on. I try to go on about my day with work, kids, and wife etc. But there are certain things that just keep me in the dumps and depressed. The headaches, ear ringing, head buzzing are about my top stressors and i don't know what to do!

[Tero]

If there is a headache specialist available, see of you have migraines.

Also, excessive of ibuprofen gives that ringing.

[HoneyLove]

Hi there, sounds like you've been having a really stressful time! No wonder you feel such a mess.

I just wanted to say that I have had quite a few similar symptoms to yours, the whole dizziness, full ears, tremors, ear ringing, brain fog, weak arms, and headaches/head pressure. But I know that all of these are caused by an inner ear problem, the question is what's upsetting my inner ear. I'm waiting to see a balance specialist and an ENT to help me out, but my feeling is that it's TMJ/neck problems. You might want to have a look at TMJ to see if you feel it matches what you're going through, and maybe talk to your dentist about it. For some people SSRIs can be prescribed for TMJ because they relax the muscles and hence get rid of the headaches and pain.

Stress can certainly bring on these kinds of sensations too (and for a lot of people stress can trigger TMJ), and I know you say you've nothing to be stressed about but remember you've been through an incredibly difficult time and it will have taken its toll. Also going cold turkey off the caffeine will have been tough on your body, you were getting a lot of it in so it will be a bit of a struggle to your body to readjust. Combine all of that with the side effects you experienced from the meds and it's not surprise that you're feeling so bad right now.

Regarding the heart palpitations when lying down or getting up from standing, this can indicate acid reflux - do you know if you have reflux problems? Do you get heart burn or do meals repeat on you? I get the exact same thing with my heart racing, often from lying down too soon after eating, or I generally get it every time I do something that will crunch my stomach, like walking up stairs or getting up from a position where my stomach was a bit squashed. Because I know what the problem is it doesn't worry me anymore, but when it first started happening it totally freaked me out and of course that made it ten times worse!

Since you're having so much trouble finding a good medication, it might be good for you to explore the other options available to you in terms of stress relief without medication. There are so many things you can do to help bring yourself down from this state, I'm personally having some good success at the moment without medication so I know it's possible it just takes some hard work. If you'd like some advice just let me know.

[ABrownUSA]

Hi there, sounds like you've been having a really stressful time! No wonder you feel such a mess.

I just wanted to say that I have had quite a few similar symptoms to yours, the whole dizziness, full ears, tremors, ear ringing, brain fog, weak arms, and headaches/head pressure. But I know that all of these are caused by an inner ear problem, the question is what's upsetting my inner ear. I'm waiting to see a balance specialist and an ENT to help me out, but my feeling is that it's TMJ/neck problems. You might want to have a look at TMJ to see if you feel it matches what you're going through, and maybe talk to your dentist about it. For some people SSRIs can be prescribed for TMJ because they relax the muscles and hence get rid of the headaches and pain.

Stress can certainly bring on these kinds of sensations too (and for a lot of people stress can trigger TMJ), and I know you say you've nothing to be stressed about but remember you've been through an incredibly difficult time and it will have taken its toll. Also going cold turkey off the caffeine will have been tough on your body, you were getting a lot of it in so it will be a bit of a struggle to your body to readjust. Combine all of that with the side effects you experienced from the meds and it's not surprise that you're feeling so bad right now.

Regarding the heart palpitations when lying down or getting up from standing, this can indicate acid reflux - do you know if you have reflux problems? Do you get heart burn or do meals repeat on you? I get the exact same thing with my heart racing, often from lying down too soon after eating, or I generally get it every time I do something that will crunch my stomach, like walking up stairs or getting up from a position where my stomach was a bit squashed. Because I know what the problem is it doesn't worry me anymore, but when it first started happening it totally freaked me out and of course that made it ten times worse!

Since you're having so much trouble finding a good medication, it might be good for you to explore the other options available to you in terms of stress relief without medication. There are so many things you can do to help bring yourself down from this state, I'm personally having some good success at the moment without medication so I know it's possible it just takes some hard work. If you'd like some advice just let me know.

Weird...I've actually been grinding my teeth for years "un-voluntarily", the tops of my teeth are pretty flat...I've also been popping my jaw "like shift it to the side..." like popping knuckles for years...I guess it doesn't help i hadn't been to the dentist in 10+ years...Now that I look up what TMJ is, I'm almost at a bingo moment...my jaw is always soar, I clench my teeth quite regularly, I have a slight popping noise when i open my mouth wide and it kinda sends a sharp pain in my jaw if I attempt to open it to wide. Again this has been going on for years...never thought it could lead to tinnitus, super headaches, anxiety etc etc etc...plus it's weird that all this came on after the panic attack...hrrrmmmm...maybe i should speak to my doc about this? Does anyone else have TMJ on these forums? I'm starting to wonder if my doc thinks im a hypo...

[Luckyduck]

Could the headachs and ear ringing be the fact that you went cold turkey with the caffine.
My mum wanted to stop her caffine intake cold turkey. Straight away she was feeling like you decribed. This went on for at least a few weeks maybe a little longer. She now drinks the ocational cup of tea and shes fine.

Have you ever seen the documentary "fat sick and nearly dead"

Its really good. Its a guy who is overweight and wants to get fit and off the medication. He goes on a juice fast across the us. Im not saying do a juice fast but there was a woman in the doc and she had migraines and such due to caffine and she started drinking these micro nutrient rich homemade juice drinks and it improved her life alot.

I will be trying it once i get a juicer.

[ABrownUSA]

Could the headachs and ear ringing be the fact that you went cold turkey with the caffine.
My mum wanted to stop her caffine intake cold turkey. Straight away she was feeling like you decribed. This went on for at least a few weeks maybe a little longer. She now drinks the ocational cup of tea and shes fine.

Have you ever seen the documentary "fat sick and nearly dead"

Its really good. Its a guy who is overweight and wants to get fit and off the medication. He goes on a juice fast across the us. Im not saying do a juice fast but there was a woman in the doc and she had migraines and such due to caffine and she started drinking these micro nutrient rich homemade juice drinks and it improved her life alot.

I will be trying it once i get a juicer.

I stopped cold turkey after the first panic attack...that was two months ago...so i don't think the withdrawals last that long.

[Luckyduck]

I stopped cold turkey after the first panic attack...that was two months ago...so i don't think the withdrawals last that long.

It went on for my mum a long long time.

Have you tried meditation? I find it helps me alot. Only just got into it but it helps with migrains and my anxiety.

[ABrownUSA]

No...but its def worth a shot..I have changed up my diet...i never drank water or ate fruits...Well now im doing both. I got a feeling this is going to be a long road. Only thing that helps me is the clonazepam at night. Keeps me from staying up all night focusing on the buzzing in my head and ears and the dand throbbing headaches...

[Luckyduck]

No...but its def worth a shot..I have changed up my diet...i never drank water or ate fruits...Well now im doing both. I got a feeling this is going to be a long road. Only thing that helps me is the clonazepam at night. Keeps me from staying up all night focusing on the buzzing in my head and ears and the dand throbbing headaches...

Its going to take time. Take it slow. See if you can get some cognative therpy. Find a therpyist you feel comfortable with. It works alot.

Im awake and its 03.30am here. I havent done my meditation tonight. Which is why i cant sleep. If you can get some wayne dyer cds. I have Your Erroneous Zones on cd its also a book. Check it out it should help. He talks about meditation on youtube too.