Mirtazapine diary starting from day 1

[Fordrsrickc]

I've not been on here for a while and I have been on numerous anti depressants ranging from sertraline, venlafaxine, fluoxetine,and most recently citalopram, citalopram worked quite well but I came off it due to increased sweating which affected my job,. I then went to see my doctor who then put me on mirtazapine I started off on 15mg and as i had already been on antidepressants prior to this,the transition had no adverse side effects and a couple of months into them I started to get severe back pains to the point I even went for X-rays and I also put on over a stone in 3 months which I was happy about because my constant worry and anxiety has always kept me skinny I'm 5'8" and only weigh just short of 10stone.
I came off the mirtazapine about 6 months ago after wheening myself off them as my shortness of breath started to creep back in and I was having panick attacks again even on the meds. At the time I was on the full dose of 45mg so couldn't increase further and it was as if my body was used to them and I was back to square one.
I have been doing well at work until recently this past few weeks being very negative towards my job and feeling anxious all the time to full blown panick attacks which last throughout the day.
So I have booked a week off work and decided I cannot do this alone and need to go back on my meds and I opted to back on the mirtazapine as after I come off them for 6 months the weight dropped off me again and it's the only one that hasn't given me the side effect of sweating,. I had the mirtazapine in my drawer of 45mg so I snapped them in half and had my first one yesterday at around 9pm and it knocked me out after an hour, I woke around 8am and as it was the first day of my week holiday so it doesn't affect my job as I am aware I will have some side effects and it did knock me out and feeling groggy all day and I went to bed at 4pm and only just woke up now and had my second 22.5mg and not looking forward to being spaced out tomorrow and hoping a week is long enough off work to get my body used to them whilst I'm off. I'm going to see my doctor in the morning if I can get up for open surgery at 9am and explain what has been going on with me,. I work in a very high pressure sales job where I am very competitive at being number 1 in the company where my earnings are such that I won't leave, even though I know the high pressure role isn't doing my health any favours,. I work 9-8pm daily and every weekend etc.
And customers that are very difficult that get under the skin and timewasters are my biggest grudgebear hence me going back on the meds.
I am getting married in November and it can be quite stressful paying for it alone with no help from either side of the family nor any input from either side of the family but our families are another story and if I start going on about them I will just get worked up so I will leave it there.
I will update this thread tomorrow and any advice given is greatly appreciated And I know the meds are not the answer but I just need a break from the anxiety for a short while whilst arranging my wedding and who knows once I'm married I might look at alternate less stressful employment.

[hanshan]

In my experience, I tried doing a job that left me highly stressed every day for five years. In the end, it just wasn't working, and I had to give the job up.

If you can't do your job without medication plus it's not working very well and you are still feeling stressed and anxious, something needs to change - perhaps the way you approach the job, or the number of hours you put into it, or perhaps the whole job itself.

Take care, and try to rest and relax on your week off.

(I need to make the point that there are a lot of people, including myself, for whom their medication is working and helps them to be happy and productive in the workforce. For these people, appropriate medication plus enjoyable work is the sensible and correct choice).

[Fordrsrickc]

Day two today and I didn't manage to get up in time for open surgery at the docs and felt spaced out all day and a bit quiet in myself and felt tired and groggy and a bit short tempered too. I went into a shoe shop for some shoes for my little boy and a member of staff just pointed where to find the ones i wanted instead of helping me, so i got the set of ladders in the store and climbed up them myself to get the shoes, just to make a point, so i sort of lost my patience but my son was happy with his new shoes lol
but had my third 22.5mg tonight anyway and hoping I feel a bit better tomorrow where I have more energy.
I noticed I was feeling a bit hungry tonight late on and ate quite a bit.
I am going to attempt to get up early in the morning regardless of how tired I feel on the meds as its not like me and I hate not getting up early and I always like to have a productive day.
I'll see what the week brings but I have to be right before I go back to work.
Will update again tomorrow

[Ingenious]

Irritability was a big side effect with me in the first few weeks. I used to feel such RAGE, not sure if it was related to my massively increased appetite too. It did pass though after a few weeks, but friends and family had to wear tin hats for a while and avoid me where possible

[Fordrsrickc]

Sorry I've not been updating the diary folks but just to give an update after increasing from 22.5mg to 30mg of which just over a week my symptoms of anxiety have not yet improved as I my shortness of breath is worse and I feel very low mood and feeling negative towards everything and very quiet and very distant. And definately not my normal self which is lurking beneath where when I have my good days is very happy, ultra confident and I only very rarely have these good days where my true self comes out. Hence the reason I'm on the meds as I miss my old self.
I hope I start to feel better soon and going to see my doctor on Monday maybe up my dose to the max 45mg.
I am quite thin and a side effect I'm having at the moment is I'm eating more but tend to get cravings for sweet stuff especially chocolate and crisps etc. so putting on weight won't be a bad thing but I'm trying to minimise the junk food,.
Another plus side is my tablet at bed time knocks me out an hour after having it and I tend to have a good deep sleep albeit with vivid dreams.
I am back to work off my week off and getting up with no problems on the alarm but feel a bit tired and energy less throughout the day.
But really feel down lately so don't know where to turn or what to do : (
Sorry it's not positive but being honest on how I feel and hope things improve.

---------- Post added at 21:23 ---------- Previous post was at 21:04 ----------

Oh I forgot to add,. Another side effect I seem to be having is blood rushing to my cheeks and flushes. Along with shortness of breath