Hi Everyone,
I have been reading posts on this site for a while but only just plucked up the courgage to join.
I am 22 and have always been paranoid about my health. When I was younger it wasn't so apparent but I do remember my dad calling me a hypochondriac on numerous occasions- I would worry but then it would go and I'd be a happy go lucky young girl. However in the past year it has seemed to spiral out of control to the point of me thinking I have every cancer possible and the thought of this is going over and over in my brain every day.
I wake up most days feeling very low and quite tired- despite having a good 9 hours sleep. I have the weirdest, detailed dreams which the doctor said was due to the HA. The doctor mentioned putting me on medication but I am unsure that this will work and worried about the side effects so have opted for CBT. I am egar to get this started but the referral is taking FOREVER.
My mother and father believe it is down to the pill- I was on microgynon for numerous years and was happy but due to migraines I had to come off and have had two different pill brand since...with annoying and in my case worrying side effects.
On my worst days I get so wound up my heart starts racing and I just breakdown and struggle to control the crying. My boyfriend has been so good, I cant imagine how frustrated he must be, especially being the most chilled and laid back person EVER. For the 7 years we have been together I have sometimes worried about how often we have sex as I believe I generally have quite a low sex drive. Once a week would be about the norm, (not like some couples everyday, twice a day, in every room of the house regime) however it has slowly come to a halt due to my increased stress and health worries, I would much prefer a good snuggle!! He says he understands but the last thing I want to do is push him away, so I guess this is adding to my anxiety!! And maybe the low-sex drive is due to the pill?!
You can probably tell I over think things way too much and have been to the docs nearly every week since November with numerous symptoms...
I have had the generic blood tests (all fine apart from low vit d and slightly low iron), been to the GUM clinic for tests (all fine), private gynecologist for smear and check (waiting for smear but doc suspects totally normal) and currently waiting to be referred to ultrasound/x-ray department for chest x-ray and another blood test- yes, I now heavily suspect Lymphoma.
Part of me is saying pull yourself together, its your brain messing with your body, you are healthy! Then the other half is like ok so you may have some anxiety but what if the anxiety is over shadowing something life threatening and no one is taking you seriously!
I realise I was only meant to be introducing myself and seem to have given you all my life history- trust me I could write a lot more but I will save it for the topic specific areas so thanks in advance for all your support.
We are in this together.
FR
xx
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