weird and scary head feelings-why is this happening to me?

[mila]

It seems like lately I just have to be scared of something, if not one thing, then another...
I have been having dizzy, lightheaded or woozy spells often for some time now. These are some of the symptoms that cause me most imediate feeling of panic.
Today I was eating my lunch at work talking to a colleague, and i suddenly realised i am feeling weird. Like my head feels heavy, and my whole body is heavy and actuallly like i am in a bandage shell or something, don't know how else to describe it, sort of detached but inside, very strange, like i am looking through glass and hearing through water and i even had to repeat everything i say to my friend although i was talking normal. My hands were shaking and I started feeling like gagging. I often get that when i am really scared. Now i still feel sort of wierd, i get these pains around my head, like they are going down my scalp, all over, my eyes feel heavy and it is actually very hard to describe how i feel, i feel like i am carrying some invisible load on the top of my head. I had to go into some empty room at work and be by myself. I usually feel like crying when i get so panicked but right now like even that is numbed.

Does this sound familiar to anyone?

I am so tired of all this. Lately i am always scared, and i have not been able to do anything i would normally do without being scared.

[bab]

Hi Mila
please dont panic as its classic anxiety and depersonalisation. When we are anxious, even though we may be chatting to someone, we are very focused on whats happening to our bodies. And it just develops. I can be chatting to someone then all of a sudden I think I feel wierd or odd or not really here. Its very common. Try to distract yourself - the more you focus on feeling odd the more it happens.

[mila]

Babs, thank u...

Feeling odd is so much more difficult to deal with. Cause I always have to rationalise what i feel to feel better. And when you can't even describe what you are feeling properly that makes it very difficult. And frustrating cause it makes it also hard to seek advice and reassurance.

I am now feeling like my head is being crushed all over. Like I'm wearing a heavy, metal hat on and it's getting tighter and tighter.

My doctor has done a comprehensive blood test recently and eclared me healthy, i had and ecg done as well. But I don't believe him. There are so many things that could be wrong and they don't show up in blood tests. I worry so much about my blood pressure, especially in this situation I would always panic that it has gone up. Lately almost every first reading is about 150 over about 85, the second one would go down, but I don't trust it cause they do it almost straight after so it may be some physical interference. They don't seem to be bothered about 150 either but I always freak out about blood pressure.

My partner has been working nights for the past few days, and only see him in the morning when he gets back and drop me and my son off to nursery and work. I don't have anyone to help me cope, he doesn't even understand and gets so mad with me when i keep going to the doctor, not that they ever do anything. But still it's much easier not to get overwhelemd with panic if he is around, i can think a bit more realistic i think. when i am alone my brain can start running wild. And here at work is hard cause I have to keep pretending everything is ok...

[bab]

I so know what your going through. I can be totally fine and then all of a sudden I feel odd. Cant explain or describe it - I just dont feel right. Feel here but not really here. I dont believe it at the time but I know deep down that its anxiety. I promise you Mila what you are experiencing is anxiety. Its hard topretend we feel ok when we don't. I have to litle boys and my husband is often away. Also no matter how much we describe it, unless youve been through it you cant really get it. When you feel it try and think of something else. Whwn you have health anxiety which sounds like you have, we are often tested more than other people. Your bp is fine and is totally affected by anxiety xx

[mila]

Bab, thank you for being here for me today!

I should be sleeping but I am always scared to sleep when I feel some symptoms. Like any head symptoms for example. Like what I feel now. I am angry and fed up and scared. This pain on the topvof my head keep coming and going. It feels like it's my scalp, like it's right on top of my head but I can't convince myself it's just tension. Even though I feel like I've been holding myself tight ever since feeling weird today. I also get the woozy, falling over feeling. It's so scary to me...i am so tired but cant close my eyes and lie down...