Is taking Diazapam cheating?
Is taking Diazapam just prelonging the time it will take for me to accept panic and try and get over it naturally?
I take 2mg either twice or three times a day at the moment, even if I feel OK, just to get through my day panic free.
I feel as if I'm cheating though and just masking the problem. I am also waiting for medication to kick in and start working (citalopram and pregabalin).
I know I can't take diazapam forever. I know I can't even take it in a few weeks time as I would of taken it for almost a month and at that time I'm surely at risk of dependency?
I tried not to take one all day yesterday but come 7pm I had a huge panic attack, rushed upstairs and took 5mg. I found 5mg to be VERY strong for me so I won't be taking that much on a normal basis.
I guess I'm just worried what I'm going to do when the Diazapam runs out and the doctor no longer gives me a prescription for more. They are an incredible crutch to get through my days.
Does anyone else feel this guilt?
__________________
"I'd Rather Live Than Live Forever"