Hi all,
I am very glad I have found this space to talk about my anxiety as I have lived with it a long time now and often feel unable to talk about it as friends and family have heard it all before. I was first diagnosed when I was in my teens with GAD and was put on Seroxat, supposedly as a short term boost to get me back to school once I had finished a course of CBT.
However, whenever I have tried to come off the drug I have had some form of relapse. Right now I feel like I am in a very bad place and part of the reason I have come on here is to try and help myself challenge that.
I was on the lowest amount of Seroxat I have been on for 15 years (just 2.5mg) and everything seemed ok when I started a new job before Christmas. I had been looking for a job like this for ages and was very proud when I got it as it was a very competitive process. I seemed to settling in ok and was feeling really good but since the middle of January I have been experiencing symptoms that I have not had for years.
The symptoms I get are mainly centred around nausea and vomiting. Basically, in the mornings I get up and feel very sick and often vomit. If I manage to get into work I either feel better as the day goes on or feel nausea all day. I have had to come home today after lunch as I was sat at my desk feeling ill and panicky that I might be sick in front of colleagues.
I have discussed this all with my doctor and increased my dose to 5mg 2 weeks ago. I know it takes a while to work but I was really hoping to be back to normal by now- at least so that I could get on and not have to work from home or be off sick.
I am finding it all really tough becasue I was hoping to get off the pills once and for all but instead I am increasing them. I am also in real terror that I will lose my job- I am still in my probation period until May and the job involves some travelling which I can't do if I am feeling sick. I am also losing weight as eating is an issue.
I did speak to my boss who tried to reassure me a bit but I just don't believe they will take me on permanently if I don't get better soon. I felt a bit better at the beginning of this week but now it has come back again- a real blow as I thought I was starting to recover a little.
I have had a lot of support and tried different therapies over the years but I am still having to come to terms with the fact that nothing has made this condition go away.
So that is me. I am probably going to ramble quite a lot on this forum until I feel a bit better so that I can get it all out there without having to talk it over constantly with my partner- who is no doubt bored of it all by now!
Anyway, hopefully I can be of some support to some of you guys too.
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