Too anxious to have another child

[tisa]

My daughter will be 4 in July and starts school in September. Recently my partner and I have seriously been considering having another baby but the problem is I feel so anxious about it.. going through it all again. I was lucky to have a good pregnancy/birth with my first but I know thats not guaranteed the 2nd time round. I keep worrying about how i'll cope mentally and if i'll get postnatal depression. When I had my daughter I suffered with the baby blues (as many women do) which seemed to continue for a couple of weeks which i'm worried about going through again. Also my anxiety is worse when Im tired so I worry about the sleepless nights. I'm interested to know if there are any other women out there who have gone on to have more than one child after having the same concerns as myself or if anybody thinks that based on my anxieties about being a mum again I should forget the idea
I'll be grateful for any replies

[isybelle]

Hi love

I have similar anxiety about having another child.

At 17 weeks pregnant my retina spontaneously detached. I was told it wasn't pregnancy related but of course I don't believe that! My health anxiety kicked in massively then and I was miserable for most of pregnancy.

Then I gave birth and due to nhs negligence (missing a tear all the way through to my bowl) I ended up with a colostomy bag for 6 months.

Since the reversal I have developed worse health anxiety, a uterine and bladder prolapse and an inscisional hernia.

So add all these problems to my health anxiety and I don't see me having another. That makes me sad every day.

Sorry this doesn't really help but just waned you to know you're not alone xxx

[Panic Manic]

My daughter will be 4 in July and starts school in September. Recently my partner and I have seriously been considering having another baby but the problem is I feel so anxious about it.. going through it all again. I was lucky to have a good pregnancy/birth with my first but I know thats not guaranteed the 2nd time round. I keep worrying about how i'll cope mentally and if i'll get postnatal depression. When I had my daughter I suffered with the baby blues (as many women do) which seemed to continue for a couple of weeks which i'm worried about going through again. Also my anxiety is worse when Im tired so I worry about the sleepless nights. I'm interested to know if there are any other women out there who have gone on to have more than one child after having the same concerns as myself or if anybody thinks that based on my anxieties about being a mum again I should forget the idea
I'll be grateful for any replies

I would really think about it before you commit to this. Bringing another child in the world whilst not mentally or physically stable is an awful idea, not only for the child your bringing in, your other child, your husband, but the well being of yourself. I wouldn't risk your life or the life of anyone else until you are stable enough. Have you had bad side effects after your first birth? Have you been dealing bad depression and or depression / on and off sense then? I wouldn't rely on having another baby to fix "baby blues", though.. Pandora's box..

If you feel you aren't depressed or anxious enough were it stops you from doing a normal daily life (ect, taking the baby to the doctors, socializing...) and being able to do that is manageable, I wish you well

[tisa]

Thank you both for your replies
Isybelle - sounds like you had a tough time, hope all is ok with you now.
Panic Manic - very wise words! Thank you!
Only I (and my partner) can make the decision I guess.. lets hope we make the right one!

[spuder]

God I could of wrote this my husband wants another baby too but I had post natel depression and don't want to go though it again

[Confused&scared]

It's so hard to know what to do, I'd love another but I know I need medication for the forseeable future :-(

[Munchlet]

Me too, would love another my son is 8 now and I'm nearly forty so it's probably too late anyway but my thing is that I found a breast lump after he was born which thankfully was a duct but the whole pregnancy I obsessed about my breasts and it frightened me so much.

I feel so guilty as well as I'm sure my son would have loved a brother or sister but I was so low after and haven't really managed to come off my meds since.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Mogwog]

Me too - this is my main problem at the moment. My son who's 8 now was born with disabilities - we don't know what caused them but hve found out its NOT genetic which is good .........but I have become terrified of catching something during pregnancy that could harm baby. I honestly don't know what to do. My dr doesn't want me on any meds when I get pregnant so iv gradually come off them and feel awful.

You are not alone.xxxxxxx