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Thread: Has it returned?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    197

    Has it returned?

    Hi everyone,

    I haven't been on here in a while because I haven't needed too. But now, I'm back and so is my OCD with full vengeance.

    It started on Tuesday last week when I was due to start my new job. I had woken up feeling extremely nervous as anyone would when beginning a new job. I began my day as any other, I woke up and I got myself a drink and then I ended up experiencing the "what if I'm gay?" thoughts. This just pushed me over the edge. I began to get so much more nervous and my heart began to race and I felt sick. I knew what was happening so I told my boyfriend and he encouraged me that this was not the case and that it was just because I was nervous. He's done so much to help me get through this and I don't want to put him through it again.

    The next couple of days between Tuesday and Friday were okay, I'd still felt anxious but not as much as I had done on Tuesday and my OCD thoughts hadn't been that bad until an altercation on Friday between me and an old friend whom had posted bad things about me online and it had just sent me over the edge. She knew about my previous problems with OCD and had begun using them against me in an argument, this really hurt my feelings and left me increasingly paranoid about what she might say/do to me.

    I had confided in my boyfriend and he had managed to resolve the situation for me. I felt a lot better after this and my OCD subsided a small amount.

    On Saturday, I had begun to experience bad thoughts again about my boyfriend. That his uncle was a "spastic" and that he was "ugly" and I didn't "love him anymore". I know that these thoughts aren't true because I have been through this before, and I told my boyfriend my thoughts to confide in him and reassure him that these were not true thoughts and my mother and boyfriend had reassured me.

    All in all, I'm just a bit frightened because I know what's happening to me. I'm still on 100mg of Sertraline and my pure O thoughts always come back with badness and make me feel abhorrent because of my periods.

    I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice they can give me on these thoughts because I'm becoming increasingly worried and depressed that I'm going to end up reverting to the dark side of me again, which of course, for anyone suffering with OCD or any mental health issue is their biggest FEAR.

    Thanks in advance.
    Becky
    __________________
    Never give up; there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

  2. #2

    Re: Has it returned?

    I have slight OCD, and I tend to have bad thoughs about people and their looks aswell. For 3 days now I have been taking 10mg of fluoxetine (Lovan) but mainly for anxiety/depression. Tomorrow I have to double my dose. It seems like yours may not be working for you, how long have you been on the 100mg of Steraline? Also I've noticed when I'm very stressed, upset or worried the OCD is worse which is pretty common among us sufferers. I have also had the "what if I'm gay" thoughts. It would be pretty obvious if we actually were, and you probably wouldn't have a boyfriend. Best wishes xxxx

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