Steveo
I am drawn to this part of your post.
My biggest concern is my suicidal attitudes and deep deep depression as well as my constant non specific anxiety. I've had anxiety my entire life but never to the point where it's constant and non specific
but firstly I admire you for being so frank in your post.
I am no doctor but though many people will argue that severe anxiety leads to depression it is not always the case but to have suicidal attitudes is something that you must address.
Googling can make one even more anxious and some professional medical sites will list all the side effects of every anti depressant and they vary from saying they are generally quite tolerable and then give a whole list of side effects and that includes having suicidal thoughts.
No two people react the same to any one drug and there are a mutitude of reasons for that including age, if one is taking any other form of medication as well for totally different condition, or simpy the side effects outweigh the original diagonis and one just can't carry on taking them.
I believe SSRI drugs are the most commonly drugs prescribed these days and they all work basically in the same way but with small deviations.
They help a lot of people but only mask the problem though in some cases they help the initial problem, people feel better,come off them as instructed by their doctors only to relapse some time later.Others acccept that one pill a day for an unspecified period of time gives the person a better quality of life which I always gauge from 0 to 10 .
I won't talk too much about myself but just to say I have been prescribed nearly every SSRi feasable and before that MAORI's and have had mangeable times and times when I am practically housebound with real physical side effects 24/7 and the side effects of any SSRI are horrendous for me.
I can't personally link extreme anxiety with suicidal thoughts but with deep depression I can.
I believe you really need to go back to your doctor or better still a psychiatrist and talk everything through, and if you are not satisfied with what they suggest try and find another specialist in this field who you can realate to, as this is so important.