Hello, I'm adam and I'm a 15 year old teen. I'm very confused as I don't know if I have hocd or if I am actually gay? Here's my story, I've had straight relationships my hole life! I've had many girlfriends and I've had sex with girls, but never guys, I was going out with my current girlfriend for 9 months, but then we broke up, yes I was upset, then 4 months after we broke up, I was doing my mock JC course, and out of nowhere, I started to think I was gay. My biggest fear is becoming gay though ( non-homophobic ). At first I didn't know what it was and I had cried over this to my bestfriend ( who is a girl if that means anything ). She couldn't believe it. She even said 'you don't seem like the type of guy to turn out gay, you love girls '. I did plenty of research trying to find the answer! Finally I found it! I found hocd! When I read about it I felt totaly relieved and thought I can't be gay, but then the thoughts kept coming, I would often ask myself if I was, or I would look at a lad and ask myself if he is attractive, but most embarrassingly, when masterbaiting, gay thoughts would come in and I would panic. It has been happening to me for the past 2 months, but I'm this time, I have being going back out with my ex girlfriend, I thought this might stop how I feel, but it made it worse! Yes I find her attractive, and I have feelings for her, but I still get really bad thoughts! Even when I look at hot celebrities that 6 months ago I would of found hot (e.g rihanna, beyonce etc.), I now don't find them hot! I am very confused and really stressed out! It seems crazy that I'm stressed out at 15 but it's true! Please somebody help!
Thanks,
Adam.