Am I perfect enough at work?

[Rachy-Rach]

This is ultimately what my anxiety boils down to. I can't stand to make mistakes at work. Does anyone else struggle with this? Strangely, when I do make a mistake I can handle it just fine but the worrying that I may have keeps me awake and it overwhelmingly exhausting!

[Rennie1989]

I work in a bookies and believe me, I get incredibly annoyed with myself if I make mistakes, no matter how small. That's why I don't do any managing shifts because the stress of going home thinking 'Have I done this... Have I done that?' and it's too much. You have to remember though that everyone makes mistakes at work, I've seen the most competent and professional members of staff make mistakes.

People make mistakes all the time, it's human nature. You cannot learn new things without making mistakes along the way. Once you get more confident and knowledgeable at your job you can resolve these issues yourself and it makes you feel awesome about yourself.

[rb1978]

Yes I get like this. I have a data entry/admin job with virtually no responsibility. I always feel like I should have a better job than this by now in my life and this in turn makes me feel all the more anxious about doing things wrong. It's almost like I think to myself that if I make mistakes at this level, what hope is there?

One big problem where I work (I think it's the same in most places to be honest) is that stuff is always changing and people don't tell everyone in the office. So you suddenly discover that a procedure you've used for like 2 years or something isn't right. I find that hard to deal with.

Recently I've started trying not to care. it's hard cos it's not in my nature but in the past when I've raised things and asked why no-one told me the right way to do something or I've been concerned that I've done something wrong, my manager's actually spoken to me about my attitude! But yet if I don't care about doing things right, and don't try, she couldn't give a toss.

Crazy.

[Em.ma]

Me to!
I'm a line worker in a factory. Very dull and boring. But things go wrong all the time and I feel responsible even when ultimately my supervisor is the one that would get the blame? I'm obsessive over not making mistakes.

[JaneC]

If I make a mistake, or fail to correct someone else's, it ends up in print for thousands of people to read, so yes, I worry about it a lot, although probably less than I used to. The worst for me is getting home at night - my shift often finishes at 11pm - and lying in bed thinking "did I do that right?". Really, though, if you can handle it when you make a mistake - I really beat myself up about that - you should try to worry less about it. Nothing terrible happens if you do, so it might be worth trying to work out what's at the root of your worry x

[Tessar]

This used to bother me much more than it does these days. A few years ago I got promoted & was supervising about 4 people. I prided myself on getting things right. I expected my colleagues to take pride in their work too. I took my job very seriously but my downfall was anticipating my boss (who used to bully me) would one day admire me for all my efforts.
I did worry about making mistakes. One day I showed someone how to do something. I thought I had given them enough of my time for them to get it right but it went badly wrong. I really paid for it emotionally. I learned a huge lesson that if you train people it's so important to check that they understand.
To make amends for the screw up, I had to ring about a hundred of people who had got information that was wrong. Worse it contravened the data protection act which could have had serious consequences for the company. I stayed late for about two weeks. My boss never thanked me for putting in the extra hours or for repeatedly eating humble pie when speaking to the clients and putting it right. He didn't even acknowledge that i had used my people skills to make sure we didn't get any complaints.he just left me to stew over it and worry that there would be a backlash. I hated the way he went silent on me.
I also learned from this that yes we are human and we do make mistakes. It happens. These days i believe that providing you are giving your job the right amount of focus, concentration and input that can be expected by any reasonable boss, then if mistakes happen, you are doing your best so there is no point getting too upset. Definitely no point berating yourself. And certainly no point labelling yourself in a bad way. If you are honest and endeavouring that is all anyone can ask of you.
I don't supervise people anymore. I am happier not to take on too much responsibility and don't work extended hours willingly. Luckily I have a job where generally it all goes ok. I do have some responsibility of course just like we all do. These days I get more satisfaction out of helping my colleagues than I do from being important in terms of my responsibilities or position in the hierarchy. I worked way too many hours and put too much of myself into that other job and I won't do that again.
So really, if you can accept that mistakes do happen but you are doing your best then that might help.
Oh, it does happen sometimes where I work that someone senior to me messes up and guess what? They are much slower in putting their hand up than the likes of me. I do try not to take responsibility for things I didn't do wrong. It's hard sometimes if I have to say "actually it wasn't me that did it" because I know someone else will get the blame, I'm less comfy about that but but I will not take blame that isn't due to me. Not anymore.

[Rachy-Rach]

Thanks for your replies. The reason I struggle is becasue I feel I have so much responcibility and I can't change that now. I've been a qualified nurse for almost 5 years and I am now in charge of a specialist unit on many of my shifts where I supervise junior staff and oversee the care of all of our patients. It's when I go home that I worry. I worry that I've forgotten something or done something wrong or not told the next staff something. I worry that something I have or haven't done will harm someone in some way. To my knowledge I never have and have only ever had excellent feedback from both management and patients but still I worry myself silly that I've done something wrong. It's better than it was. I don't have panic attacks anymore like I used to but I do feel myself panicing. At work I appear very confident but always check things if I'm unsure and always work safely. But at home I'm a bit of a worrying mess... and I don't know how to change it. I'm off the meds now and only a tiny bit worse than I was on them so good so far but I hate feeling like this. Wish I could make the feelings go away. Not caring is not an option. I couldn't do my job if I didn't care. Help please. My managers are aware and are supportive. They'll stop me going back to things I'm worrying about like going back to check I've correctly assessed a patient - they have more faith in me than I do! And I've never done an incorrect assessment but I still worry that I have, or haven't given the correct advice. For example I couldn't sleep the other night because I'd advised a patient to rest her leg but I'd not advised her to elevate it. I'm still worried about that now! Hardly life or death but she'll get a better result with elevation. I want to ask if I'm being daft. My head tells me I am but my chest is freaking out about it Urgh!

[Sunshine77]

I've always been the same. The worst time for the fear to creep in is if I have a holiday or time off. I always think I'm going to be "found out" for not being any good, whilst I'm off. I remember a few years ago the fear was so bad that the night before i was due to go back to work I was up at 2am checking my emails, convinced I would have an email inviting me to a disciplinary meeting. Yet I knew logically I had done nothing wrong. When I saw an email from my MD I was virtually hyperventilating. Then I opened it and saw that I had been nominated for an award. I cried for about an hour with relief but also it added more fear, it was almost as if I wanted someone to say "yes you are as rubbish as you think you are". The more positive the feedback, the more pressure I let it put on me.

It sounds to me though Rachy-Rach as if you are an exceptionally caring and diligent nurse. We have such a distorted perception of our own abilities, I think it's part of the illness. You're right, it is exhausting.

Sorry I know there's no advice in this post for you but it's something I know I need to work on too and at least we're not alone!

[10bottles]

Hi all,

I can totally relate to this. I'm so frightened of making mistakes at work yet on the rare chance I do it really doesn't bother me yet I find people pander to me if I do as they think I may get upset, I hate that! I've trained to do different roles, nurse, physio and done really well academically but had to leave the course of my own accord as I get so anxious and of course making mistakes whilst training is natural but I couldn't hack it which is why I stick to dead end jobs. Can anyone recommend any good books to read around these issues, I really want to start helping myself and I'm new to this forum...nice to meet you all x

[Rachy-Rach]

I don't know of any books. I've seen a psychologist who was attached to our unit at work - he really helped! I have a very supportive family. I've been on citalopram which I found fab! Only came off it because we want to start a family and doing ok so far with just the odd hiccup... I attended a self help group for a while but didn't find it as useful as I thought I would as my anxiety is very specific to work. I find these forums help to calm me down. Just reading them and talking to people is reassuring that it's not just me. I too have done lots of academia, just completing my MSc this month! If you want to chat feel free to pm me x