Really depressed again

[lilly-lou]

I've not been on here for some time now as I've managed to get my anxiety under control with the help of meds. Problem is I'm really depressed. I can't be bothered to do anything. I'm snappy and irritable. My family life is making me unhappy but I can't seem to find a way to make things right or know what to do for the best. My marriage is bad, I've pushed what few friends I do have away, I've got no family to help me.

I've been to the docs who has suggested councelling to me and reviewed my meds but I can't seem to pull myself out if this dark place. I don't know how much more I can take feeling like this. I'm so sick of fighting this and feel at the moment I just don't have the will or energy to either.

[BobbyDog]

It sounds as though Counselling may be the right idea for you at the moment.
It might help you get things in perspective and help you move forward from this bad place that you are in. Don't make any rash decisions about your private life until you are feeling better, depression/anxiety can take it's toll on relationships.

[GlobusGirl32]

I know exactly how you feel as i am also stuck in that horrible shadow. There is nothing no one can usually tell me to feel better and i dont want to give you all the cliches but i wish you the best.. i pray that your storm will end. You have made it this far just keep on pushin!

[xtremx]

I've not been on here for some time now as I've managed to get my anxiety under control with the help of meds. Problem is I'm really depressed. I can't be bothered to do anything. I'm snappy and irritable. My family life is making me unhappy but I can't seem to find a way to make things right or know what to do for the best. My marriage is bad, I've pushed what few friends I do have away, I've got no family to help me.

I've been to the docs who has suggested councelling to me and reviewed my meds but I can't seem to pull myself out if this dark place. I don't know how much more I can take feeling like this. I'm so sick of fighting this and feel at the moment I just don't have the will or energy to either.

Hi lilly-lu

I was going to post this very same thing.
I'm not to sure what is going on in my life, looking back I think I have been depressed for most of my adult life (well it seems that way).

I seem to be in a cycle up for a while then down. Now is a down cycle, I can't see the point of even getting out of bed in the morning (I sleep like a log) if I could I would stay in bed 24/7 and I have before now (when home life has got to much.

I can't be bothered to do anything. I'm snappy and irritable. My family life is making me unhappy but I can't seem to find a way to make things right or know what to do for the best. My marriage is bad,

Yeah I have started lots of stuff over the years and I just never see the point in finishing I lose interest.. Wow I get snappy and irritable at a drop of a hat (I hate myself for that).. My family life is also making me unhappy my kids have me on brink of losing it.. My wife she just does not seem to understand and just keeps pushing the wrong buttons.
My marriage is all but over.

I've got no family to help me.

The only family I have got is at home.. I have brothers and a sister but they would much prefer I was died and on has offered to do it for me (at my mums own funeral).

I said at the beginning that I think I have been depressed most of my adult life from a early age I started drinking Heavy and that lasted near on 15 years. I have self harmed before, when down and yes I have thought about ending it all..
They say you reap what you sow I think that is my case I was also a heavy gambler I have lost over my days more money than I wish to count because I was down it was a release..
Now I'm again facing financial ruin. I seem not to be able to pay of my credit cards (again gambling debts from years ago) I only got them because I was down a few years back.

I feel like I'm about to lose it all... But this is the first time I have spoke about this subject and we be my last I will not speck to my cbt therapist as I don't open up like that and anyway what can she do about it for me.

Both me and you need to take positive steps to improve our plight if not for ourselves but for others. We owe it to us to be happy and enjoy life.

Sounds hard but others do

Your post has helped me open up.. But it is what we do next is what counts.

I'm feed up with feeling this way.. So are you.. So lets do the right thing and see what we can do to make things look better so the future is a good one.

I will try if you do.

Take care my friend and feel free to pm me for a chat...

Chris

[GlobusGirl32]

Chris i can totally relate to your story and your post was inspiring.

[lilly-lou]

Thanks for all the replies.

Chris, I'm glad my post has made you open up, sometimes off loading just helps to lessen the burden and the guilt of feeling the way we do.


It seems the only people I love at the moment are my kids, even though at times they can treat me like crap, think they've learned not to respect me from watching how my hubby is with me.


I get the feeling of not wanting to do anything and just wanting to sleep all the time which is not like me at all. I hate this dark cloud ad am really not in a good place. I want to cry all the time and just can't seem to find the fun in life.


I've had a meds check with my doctor and alls ok with my dosage. He has suggested going to relate without my husband so I can sort out exactly what I want rather than what he wants all the time. I'm scared of leaving as he will leave me and the kids with nothing. I did try that one last year, he hid all money from me, chucked me and the kids out even assaulted me (I prosecuted him for it). I can never forgive him for the way he treated me or the way he still does. We own our own business and he keeps every penny on him or hides it so I can't have any. I had one friend who happened to be male (nothing except for a friend) and I had to block him out if my life which I regret everyday as he was the only person who I could talk to who would listen without being judgemental to giving me the usual your hubby is a wonderful man, yeah to everybody else except me that is! I miss his friendship terribly but I doubt he will ever forgive me but I had no choice but to break all contact as I really didn't want him to get hurt by my controlling other half


I know I have a lot to sort through. I just don't know if I have the strength to get through it. I've lost all fight and faith in anything. I can't keep on living like this, it's no life just an existence. The only people stopping me from doing something rash are the faces of my kids