Socializing in situations involving alcohol?

[.Poppy.]

I am 21 (so I can legally drink). Most of my friends are as well, but they have been drinking/partying since senior year of high school. I am NOT much of a drinker. I will do it once in a while and that's it. My family doesn't really drink either.

To me, its just obnoxious. Im not usually a fan of the screaming or the crazy behavior. I am also not really a night owl and don't like to be up much past 11. I also think that it is totally possible to have fun without being wasted (and after experiencing a hangover I don't want to go there again).

Anyway, it seems that everyone is shocked bt this behavior and love to pressure me to drink. Overall, they make me feel like a worthless loser (for lack of a better term) because I don't like it and I just don't want to do any of it. They like to say that we are young and this is the age to be crazy and reckless and take chances with no regrets......problem is, I would prefer to take a chance on backpacking to the bottom of the grand canyon than get wasted and sleep around every weekend.

I am about 3/4 of the way through a massive spring break trip with several young adults (almost all drinkers) who stay up late and party and all I can think about is how awesome its going to be to get home to my comfy bed and my quiet room.

Is it normal to feel this way? Most of these people have been my friends for years...how can I feel more adequate around them, cut back on the peer pressuring, and preserve the friendships?

[theharvestmouse]

You are just different and its perfectly fine to be like that, it will get easier as you get older as there is less pressure to live up to the student lifestyle that most people live like.

When I was at uni there was one tee total bloke in our halls of res and he got so much abuse and pressure to drink, I think back and can't believe that I actually also could not understand why someone wouldn't drink. But that was before all my problems and little did I know that alcohol would wreck my life years later.

Now I don't drink much at all, I avoid getting drunk because I hate what it does to me and the trouble it causes me.

So you are very mature in your attitude and I think you are doing the right thing by sticking to your own preference to not get wasted. I don't know how to advise you on how to feel around your friends because its difficult.

[Meewah]

Poppy

We are social creatures, because we are social we feel like we should do the same as each other, we share pain, suffering, lifes up's and downs. Alcahol like any drug can be used to self medicate and give relief from the seriousness of life. I for one don't think your different, many people choose not to drink, the media shows us how it ruins lives. If you are happy to have fun without alcahol then why not. Just go out and pretend to drink if you have to. Have cola, or something else drink soda in a beer bottle,this will stop people asking why you are not drinking. I used to drink socially and feel I used to use it to hold me up in social situations. Luckily I saw that I was using it this way and was aware due to my anxiety I could become dependant on it. So I stopped mostly. Why be someone your not?? Relax, find friends who only drink to fit in and join them and support them to be as brave as you and stop living like this.

Well done, feel proud. Most of my friends are really amazed that I can go out and enjoy myself without alcohol.

Mee

[JasonX]

I can absolutely relate to this 100%. I have friends whose entire lives seem to revolve around making money to spend on a 'messy night out'. So I can certainly understand where you're coming from. You shouldn't have to be something you're not in my opinion. As of yet though, I'm yet to come up with an actual solution to this. I tend avoid going out when I know alcohol is going to be involved, and then make up some poor excuse to get out of it, so I'm afraid I can't really help with that side of things. just know you're not alone in feeling this way about it. and you're certainly not the weird one out of your friends. If anything, I'd say you're the normal one... getting absolutely wasted to the point you have no control over your bodily functions? I'm out.

much love, Jason.

[.Poppy.]

Thanks for the answers I have been hungover before and it was not fun (never going there again) so anymore I just drink until I'm a little tipsy and try to stay at that state. My issue was that I was already anxious being on that trip and I didn't want alcohol to make me even more sick and likely to throw up.

Anyway, I got tipsy one night and all others just sipped on alcohol. The man who planned the trip -- so weird to call him a "man" since I've known him since about 2nd grade! -- actually asked my brother if I was "having fun" since I wasn't drinking much but he assured him that I was. I probably looked like I wasn't having fun either since I was functioning on less and less sleep and was pretty much a zombie by the end of the vacation!

Thank you all so much - nice to see that there are still people in the world who don't get trashed every weekend. All my friends who previously said that drinking was foolish and no fun now have decided just the opposite. I guess we're all just too responsible for our own good......

[stay_gold]

I'm 25 and I feel the same as you poppy. It's a waste of money more than anything else, I've ended up broke after a night out and the hangovers suck big time.
When I was 21 I drank a lot more, just cos I felt that was what you do to have a good night.
When people make you feel bad about something, its usually Cos they have a complex about it themselves, I believe a lot of young people have drink problem sometimes without realising it.
Just do your thing, in the long run, that situation with get sorted.

[nusadin]

I am 21 (so I can legally drink). Most of my friends are as well, but they have been drinking/partying since senior year of high school. I am NOT much of a drinker. I will do it once in a while and that's it. My family doesn't really drink either.

To me, its just obnoxious. Im not usually a fan of the screaming or the crazy behavior. I am also not really a night owl and don't like to be up much past 11. I also think that it is totally possible to have fun without being wasted (and after experiencing a hangover I don't want to go there again).

Anyway, it seems that everyone is shocked bt this behavior and love to pressure me to drink. Overall, they make me feel like a worthless loser (for lack of a better term) because I don't like it and I just don't want to do any of it. They like to say that we are young and this is the age to be crazy and reckless and take chances with no regrets......problem is, I would prefer to take a chance on backpacking to the bottom of the grand canyon than get wasted and sleep around every weekend.

I am about 3/4 of the way through a massive spring break trip with several young adults (almost all drinkers) who stay up late and party and all I can think about is how awesome its going to be to get home to my comfy bed and my quiet room.

Is it normal to feel this way? Most of these people have been my friends for years...how can I feel more adequate around them, cut back on the peer pressuring, and preserve the friendships?

who cares what other think (generally) You have your opinion about alcoholism and if you accept to do something you don't want, you are weak. It they are your true friend they wouldn't care...