Derealization... Need Help!!!

[Alyssa860]

Hello Everyone,
My name is alyssa and im 20 years old and I had my first panic attack about 2 months ago. I've had panic attacks before but nothing as serious as this one. I felt extremely dizzy and my vision went blurry and I collapsed. I was traumatized by the attack. And things have gotten worse since then, I have seen my doctor on multiple occations because I get a awful feeling that everything around me isnt real... like I'm in a dream. And it happens everyday which causes me to panic. It has gotten so bad that I cant go out in public because I feel like I'm dreaming and it scares me so bad!!! I've lost my job, I cant keep my doctors appointments all because the derealization/depersonilsation has taken over my mind. And my home use to be my safe haven but now I get them here too. I can't do anything without not being able to think straight... today was a little different I only had one panic attack and it only lasted a few minutes( usually i have them throughout the day for an hour or so) but even though I didnt have a panic attack I still had the "i feel like im in a dream" feeling. I just want my life back... my doctor put me on Ativan but it's not helping and i dont solely want to be dependent on benzo's to make me better, if anyone can relate to how I'm feeling please reply... I want to be normal again!!!

[PanchoGoz]

Hi and welcome to the forum. Firstly, can I confirm you are not on any street drugs? Also, have you had your blood pressure tested? Fainting doesn't happen with panic attacks so that was likely to be something else, but it still made yous cared and you are relating it to future attacks. Now for derealization.
Have a look at derealization under the symptoms list on the left. You wll be pleased to know this is a very common symptom of anxiety, early everyone gets it, but it has to be the most scary as it's not a single symptom in your body, but a challenge to your whole percieved existance! It can make you feel like you are going mad. I had it to the point that my vision was dulled and darkened and I found it difficult to look at people. Sounds sounded distant and echoey compared to my mind,
The cause behind derealization is a friendly one; your mind is protecting you from the outside world as you are feeling a little overwhelmed. It blocks out the niceties of real life and keeps only the important stimuli to give your mind a rest. It's a defence mechanism and it's helpful to put on a thankful attitude that your body is doing its best for you. The problem is that it isolates you further from reality when you should be taking steps to get back into it.
I overcame derealization with this knowledge, that it's there to help me and it's a sign I need to face my issues. When I felt it, I would not engage with it and catastrophise abot it, but instead focus on the outside world with mindfulness. This not only stops you focusing on the derealization itself, but pulls you out of all the stewing catastrophic thoughts inside your head which are causing you anxiety.
Remember you are stuck in a cycle - because it is a symptom of anxiety, when you are anxious it gets worse, this scares you and you get more anxious which makes it worse etc. The fact it increases with anxiety shows it's no more than a symptom.
The fact you say it starts without any panic, it just comes out of the blue, scares people as well as you believe it's not linked to the anxiety. Remember that your body is constantly on high alert so these things can happen whenever. It may be that you are getting other symptoms as well but only noticing the derealization as that is what your mind is stuck on. When it comes, try to notice your surroundings and feelings equally and see what else comes up. You should notice your raised heartrate and sweaty hands for example.
Back to mindfulness, we use our senses to engage with the real world and step out of troublesome thoughts. I advise you to look into it more as its particularly helpful with anxiety. Have a look at the following links. The first is a video of Jon Kabat-Zinn which is rather long but you can skip the first part and end part. It's incredibly relaxing though.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nwwK...gWf0I7CbxTJFjw
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/mindfulness.htm Self help
http://www.mindfulnet.org/ Info

[wigglywoo12]

what a fantastic post pancho well done

[PanchoGoz]

It didn't look that long as I was writing it lol

[Carly Lou]

Thats a great post Pancho x
Ive decided today ive been forgetful.... I love anxiety & derealisation !!!
xx

[tarandeep]

helpful replies i think

[Thumbelina]

Hi all, positive atritude in this thread...
All the symptoms mentioned i get whe n anxiois...(at the momwnt as well).
Derealisation is the scariest maybe but its all made of nothing

Hope you feel good soon

[Alyssa860]

Pancho,
No I do not take any street drugs as a matter of fact I have another issue and it's that I'm afraid of drugs lol I've never smoked weed and I don't take pills that I'm not familiar with. It's always been something I've stayed away from. And as for my blood pressure, it's usually pretty good but I worked at walmart they have one of those blood pressure machines and when I had my first panic attack I checked my blood pressure just to see if that's what it could have been to be making me feel dizzy and light headed, and it was high then but checked it an hour later and it was fine. And as for the fainting, I wouldnt say that's what happened, it's kind of how you described it. I felt dizzy, my vision went blurry and dim and sounds sounded so far away. I think the moment of my first attack I was just overwhelmed, working full time, taking care of twins and not having much me time. I dreaded getting up in the morning for work and I think my body just shut down... to protect me like you said. But I must add before my first attack I had symptoms of derealization but I didnt know what that was then so I reasearched and it sounded like I had Vertigo. But my doctor is almost positive it is derealization. Even though she never tested for vertigo. I noticed that it's extremely sensitive to light. If the house is dim with little lighting and I step into a brighter room i feel the "im in a dream" sensation. I can honestly say this is something that I feel can SOOO easily be fixed but for some reason my brain cant grasp that everything is okay

I was put on Ativan for a month and for the most part it didnt work (0.5 mg), I ended up running out on Friday and I had remembered that 2 months ago I had went to the hospital because of an attack and they had gave me Xanax for 3 days. I was scared to take it because like I said I don't like taking new things, but when I ran out of my Ativan I took the Xanax because the panic was so back and because of my fear of leaving the house I couldnt go to the hospital. And I must say since taking the Xanax i've had less panic attacks... actually today I didn't have one at all. But I did have the derealization and I tried to keep calm and remind myself that this is real and i'm not in a dream I wouldnt have the attacks but would have the derealization only for a quickness (a minute or so) So i'm starting to realize it is mostly mental, but I'm not quite sure I'm ready to take a leap into going into a public place like my doctors office or the grocery store. That's what scares me
Sorry I just wrote a book I just dont feel I'm able to explain this to my doctor and I can here because there's really people that can relate!

Also my Doctor just filled me a percription for Ativan (1 mg) and I'm kind of iffy about it. I don't know if it's going to help like the Xanax did but I don't want to tell my Dr. about the Xanax because I don't want her to think I'm just looking to get high because that's definitely not the case!

---------- Post added at 19:37 ---------- Previous post was at 19:35 ----------

Hi all, positive atritude in this thread...
All the symptoms mentioned i get whe n anxiois...(at the momwnt as well).
Derealisation is the scariest maybe but its all made of nothing

Hope you feel good soon

Thumbalina, Thank you so much. I feel so much better today besides the derealization and I can relate to what your going through just know your not alone, and remember clear your mind and BREATHE!!!

[Thumbelina]

Hi Alysaa and everybody,
As for medications - i also thought that it is like admitting your weakness when you accept to take meds.
But then i agreed that some help should be accepted by me. After taking only one small dose 5mg of cipralex for ab 4 years i have stopped myself and was off meds for around 1.5y. Was hit my series of attacks in Nov2012 and had to move with my friends for 1.5 weeeks so they could help me with my 2 kids.
I started my 5mg again and realised that i shouldnt have stopped completely probably, as doc said. Since november i forgot ab the relapse until last week following series of big stressors around me. And started skipping the tabs straight after i felt ok, which i shoildnt have. I will be taking them.daily now. If these are the.crunches i need let it be... i am ok with it now. I dissagree to take though antianxiety meds which to me were giving a temporary relieve and later were causing me to have less hold over panic attacks. So i just take a small dose of antidepress. everybody is different though and as they say whatever work.... only one thing we have in common for sure are these unpleasant experiences, which is up to us to turn into learning process and useful experience.
Hope you are having a better sleep then me tonight....:]

[Alyssa860]

Ugh....the panic has came back... Yesterday was so good only had one and it was lar night because of a disturbing phone call. I didn't have to take my anti anxiety meds all day until that phone call. And today was awful I slept all day until about 2 and at 230 I was having a full out panic attack. I took my pill at 4 and it hasn't helped at all... I feel so hopeless. Dont know what to do the calm down. After today I will not be skipping any doses because at the moment I feel okay. Because things end up feeling worse if I don't take it the way I'm suppose to.