My boyfriend said he cant take anymore of my anxiety, what can I do??

[Lorn]

Had the most horrible day yesterday!!! My boyfriend broke down and told me he just cant take me being like this anymore, he said he is so unhappy.

He said he feels so lonely and its like im not even here anymore, and I agree with him. I havnt felt myself for over 12 months now. He just keeps saying he wants the old me back, the way we used to have a laugh and a joke together. He said he feels like we are just living from one doctors appointment to the next and he cant do it anymore.

At the moment worrying about my mum is consuming my whole life!!

I feel like my whole world is falling apart, I cant stop crying. Please please please help me, I cant lose him he is my whole world x

[steveo]

That's not nice at all.

I'm currently in my third month of a severe breakdown and I haven't seen my girlfriend at all in this period of time and we've hardly spoken. I feel that if we haven't been going out for 5 years and we haven't planned to move in together this year, she would of finished with me.

A partner should be there for you no matter what. In the bad times and the good times. It's not fair for him to say such a thing. How long have you been with him?

Steven x

[anxietyoverload]

Aw hun, this situation must be horrible for you! But at least he's talking to you and telling you how he feels. It's always better to talk about things that keep them in.

Are you on any meds for your anxiety? xx

[50shadesofmessedup]

Darling I really feel for you :( my worst nightmare is my partner becoming like yours has as he's a wonderful father and a rock . Maybe he's trying to help u in the long run, sometimes it takes something drastic for us to snap out of things? Fake it until u make it babe u can do it tell him how u feel and he may UNDERSTAND more here if u need a chat xxx

[Lorn]

I have been with him for 10 years now we have lived together for 6.

I asked him why he didnt tell me why he was feeling like this and he said he didnt want to burden me with something else to worry about. Dont get me wrong he has stood by me through all of this but I didnt realise it was getting him down this much I just wish he would of talked to me, I cant bear to lose him and he said he doesnt want to lose me either.

I was on Citalopram for about 2 years but came off them about 2 years ago as I was starting to feel better but these past 12 months have been awful I dont want to but I am really considering going back on them again.

Has anyone tried CBT? x

[ricardo]

Lorn

on the possitive side you two have been together for 10 years and that is a big bonus, and what he has told you is to me very reassuring.
There are many of us on here including myself that are married or living together for far longer than you yet i often here people say "why does he/she put up with me".

It's simple because they love you and have a sense of loyalty even if that means sacrifycing a lot of their lives or sharing things together.

I know how difficult it is for both of you in different ways but to me you have a good man there and maybe working together,step by step will calm your anxiety about him leaving you,which IMO are your thoughts,not his.

[swgrl09]

Anxiety can definitely take its toll on any relationship and I am sorry you are going through this. Is he willing to go to couples therapy?

[Pinktel]

Yes to the CBT!!! I am trying it (have been since january) and am finally seeing results. Bear in mind i have had 20 years plus of agoraphobia, health anxiety, panic disorder, hyperventilation, social anxiety and OCD. You name it I have worked my way through most anxieties.

Never tried meds despite family and GP wanting me to - always too scared to take it!

Tried NHS cbt and also private cbt but by far what is working for me is the now FREE Cbt4panic which is linked from this website and endorsed by nomorepanic. you can work at your own pace which i like.

[hanshan]

You should be wary of discontinuing an AD when you feel better as ADs are not a cure, they simply relieve symptoms.

The symptoms may or may not return when you discontinue - it's something that should be be carefully monitored.

If symptoms reoccur, it may be a sign that you need to recommence taking the AD.

[Lilharry]

Anxiety can take a huge toll on relationships, it has on mine, but you can get through it. It sounds like you are being honest with each other now which is great news. I would highly recommend relationship counselling, did wonders for us. Cbt is fantastic too, so definitely get on to that. If you can show your partner that you are committed to doing everything you can to try and get better that will go a long way. I'm sorry you are going through this, please feel free to PM me if u want to chat about it. My husband and I r still together after a lot of hard work.