Super nervous and awkward when around my crush?

[Haruka]

So for the first time in quite a while, I have a crush on a guy who I don't know very well (my last crush was one of my best guy friends, so I had no problem talking to him). He is pretty good friends with one of my best friends, so he sits with us in one of my classes, and I know that he is a really nice guy, but I can't help but be nervous when I try to talk to him.

I feel like everything I say to him is stupid, and that he must think that I am weird/annoying and won't want to talk to me. It doesn't help that usually every person I like, ends up slowly pushing me away from them, even if I never admitted to liking them.

It's really discouraging, and I feel like I am never going to date someone because everyone I like is just going to end up hating me anyway. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to get over this?

[Lilharry]

I was like this when I was young too! Looking back now, I know it's because I lacked self confidence. Anything you can do to build your self confidence and start liking yourself is a good thing. Did you know that you are supposed to like yourself? I actually didn't realise this for many years! Well, it's true, you're supposed to like yourself and if someone doesn't like you for being you then that's their problem and you shouldn't waste your time with them.

[JasonX]

Hey Haruka.

I guess in some ways, you're supposed to be nervous around your crush, it's definitely a common thing. I know I have, and still do get those heightened feelings of anxiety. I would say though, try not to put yourself down, if he doesn't like you as you are then he's not the right guy for you. I guess the best way to conquer the nervous feelings is to tackle it head on. That's what I'd do. Force yourself to talk to him until you feel somewhat comfortable in his company.

I hope all works well and that I hear tales of romance pretty soon Haha.

Much love, Jason.

[Tessar]

I can be like this although it was rather a long time ago that i was in the situation (as I've been in a very long-term relationship). But I can still be the same around people I admire & who I would like to feel the same way about me. I end up feeling silly around them or thinking I am going to say silly things. The other day, I was talking to my boss at work, she's lovely & I know she likes my pleasant nature but despite that I almost forgot to draw breath when speaking to her. I remember having to tell myself to breath before I went all lightheaded. Doh.
But you can do something about this. I get round it by trying just to be myself. If people like me as Iam that's good. I try not to be anything I'm not these days. Try to be your natural self.
When it comes to what to say, if I try to think of things to say that are funny or force myself to say something (anything...) that's when I usually come out with something daft. Probably because I'm feeling like I must say something but actually I dont have to. Rather than force myself to speak, I sometimes sit back & people watch.
Something I have learned is that a person who is quieter (not completely silent) can be mysterious to others & actually that can draw their attention to you more as it can make them curious about you. So if you dont always contribute to conversations that isnt a disaster.
Of course you want to be able to talk to this person since that will help to show them that you have an interest in them. Maybe they have a hobby you can ask about or other interests generally. But you dont have to go overboard & ask 20 questions.
Its easy to think in an "all or nothing" way... i.e. that you wont date anyone & write off all possible partners before you get to know them. But whilst it's easy to make this assumption, I doubt its true at all. But maybe its the other people and not you who are having difficulties. Relationships are two way things so it isnt all down to you.
Its more difficult to stick at it but you do that. Stick at it because sometimes relationships come out of the blue when you least expect it. Maybe if you 'go with the flow' & see what happens it might just come off for you.
That is exactly what happened to me. When I reached 30 I started to doubt I'd ever find myself a partner (long-term or otherwise) but then all of a sudden, bingo. That was a verrrryyyyy long time ago now & the person I am with was already known to me for a couple of years before we became an item. It just sort of 'happened'.
So, nice deep breaths, dont forget to breath naturally when you are talking to them & anyway, appearing bashful around people is perfectly fine. Sometimes it can be a very endearing quality. I believe you have many qualities hidden away in that mind & heart of yours but they are just not apparent to you. You are going to make someone a lovely partner some time.... so hang in there.....

[Haruka]

Thank you for all the kind replies everyone It really helps to know that I am not alone in this! And I have hope that I won't be single forever I think when school starts up again, I am going to try to be brave and talk to my crush, and hopefully things go well. And later on, I definitely hope I have some tales of romance to share