I didn't know where else to go, i need help...

[Adsterrr]

I've only ever posted on the introductions page on this forum but I seriously need to vent. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

My friends from Leeds are back to the town they come from (Bishop Auckland) which is where I also live. They're my best friends and they're only home for a couple of days.

They really want to go out tomorrow night, however i'm terrified to go out. I hate the area where I live, on nights out there I feel awkward, panicky and really not myself.

They've all told me how excited they are to see me and i just can't let them down, i'd feel terrible. However, I don't feel like i am physically or emotionally able to go out. I'm writing this at 10 to 5 in the morning because I can't sleep thinking about it...it's driving me insane. I've taken some sleeping tablets but they're not working. My head feels like everything's racing through it at once and I just can't cope...

I know this doesn't sound like a 'big deal' but it's really affecting me. I feel like such an idiot to get so worked up about going on a night out. I just want to wish all of my anxiety away, go out and have a really great night with my friends. BLARGHHHH!

[shakey1961]

First of all, take a step back and deep breath. You're going to get nowhere with your thoughts racing.

OK, you've got all day to sort things. Do your friends know about your anxiety? If not tell them! I'm sure they'd be understanding. If it was one of your friends who was in a state like you, wouldn't you understand.

Call one who you think is most sympathetic or you're particularly close to, then perhaps you can make other arrangements, or they can keep an eye on you and care for you.

If you really can't go out (been there, got the t-shirt) explain to them and suggest having a night in with a dvd and a pizza. Have a party at home!!!

It's now 5:23am. I'm in the chat room if you want to talk and see if I can be of help. Join me there

[Lilharry]

The reality is that you never have to go anywhere or do anything that you don't want to do. If you are having a rough time the most important thing is that you take care of yourself, so try and come at it from that angle, rather than feeling terrible that might let someone else down - put yourself at the centre. That was actually the first step in managing my anxiety - letting go the guilt of not being able to do the things I used to and letting people down. You need to let go of that guilt in order to progress and get well. It's okay that you can't do this right now.

I think being upfront is a great idea, if you can. Instead of feeling bad that you don't want to go out, feel good that you no longer need to go out to have a good time. Do what Shakey said and invite them over to your place - just say, sorry guys, I can't go out, but I'd love it if you would come over for a couple of beers - or something along those lines.

Or if you do think you can go out, why not just go and meet them for an hour or so then say you have to go? You don't have to stick around have a huge night out. If they question you, just say you're not up for it and you don't want a hangover but that it was really great to see them. Be proud of the fact that you're looking after yourself.

[Adsterrr]

Thank you both so much for your replies, I didn't go out in the end, however I've took your advice and arranged a trip to Leeds to see them (strangely I feel more comfortable there)

I just need to stop my head racing when I'm in that dark place, I let things affect me way more than they should =\