Steve
As pip says give yourself a break, to much info Isn't good sometimes. We also think the more we know about things the better,but that's not always the good for us.
It's like when you read the SE on the leaflet that comes with the meds, automatically you think OMG you should just take them and don't read it till you do get somethin out of sorts then look at the leaflet.
I think when like us with anxiety and don't like taking meds it's a really hard making decisions and stresses us out.
Try not to look into the past so much and try to look forward you have so many years in front of you.
Xx