Feeling worse on escitalopram...advice needed please!

[starfish01]

Hello there,

To cut a long story short, I've been suffering from anxiety & depression since I was 18. I'm now 36. I was only diagnosed at the age of 25 and have been on anti-depressants ever since. First I was put on Citalopram after having what can only be described as a nervous breakdown after a bereavement. I never came off the tablets as I was too scared and felt I couldn't cope with life without them. I moved to France just over two years ago and had another bereavement. I started having severe panic attacks so my then Doctor took me off Citalopram and put me onto Anafranil and Xanax. It helped me somewhat and I was able to go to work etc. However, I decided to change my Doctor for various reasons. A few weeks ago I started having depressive feelings and felt like I was about to have another nervous breakdown so I went to my new Doctor who advised me to come off Anafranil and start on 10mg of Escitalopram. After about 3 weeks, I started feeling considerably better. I was able to go out, exercise and eat properly. I really felt as if the meds were working fine. Now though, it's a different story. I've been on them for 5 weeks and I feel dreadful! First, I started getting strong headaches for several days which have now subsided. Now, I'm having mild panic attacks most nights and I feel tired and groggy during the day. The main symptom however is really unpleasant and hard to describe but I'll try my best..it's like everything is 'surreal' and as though I'm looking at the world around me in a very grey light. Everything seems distorted through my eyes and I don't feel positive or have any vitality. it's as if I'm existing but not really 'feeling' any emotion, like my mind is dull and flat. I can't understand what's going on as one minute i'm feeling so much better and now it looks like I'm back to square one. Can anyone advise please? Many thanks

---------- Post added at 16:11 ---------- Previous post was at 15:26 ----------

I forgot to mention that my appetite isn't great either since yesterday, and before that it was fine. It's very wierd, it's as if the meds worked for a bit and have now stopped working.

[karenp]

I seemed better the first few weeks than when I reached the 5 week mark when I don't know if the Escitalopram was just peaking in my system, then I started to feel better again. I have been on it 5 months now and still get blip days but more good ones than bad and this is quite normal with me when starting an AD, it always takes a good few months before I am totally 100% but it does get better and the lack of appetite goes away. I do still get a good few headaches though and am still waking up feeling flat but this usually soon wears off and then I am perfect. Oddily enough for me, evenings have always been good and it's early mornings I struggled with most.
Hope you begin to feel better soon and if you have any more questions just ask xxx

[starfish01]

Hi Karenp,

Thanks for your reply. I do have another question for you (or for anyone else who can advise)..how long do you think it might be before this nasty surreal feeling subsides? I'm supposed to be starting back at work next week (I work as a teacher) and although I won't be doing my full hours, I'm really wondering if I'll be able to cope as I feel so weird and 'not really here'. My boss has said that she needs to know if I'm definitely going back next week as otherwise she'll have to find a new teacher to replace me. Talk about feeling under pressure!! So, I have to give her an answer today, which is a problem as how am I supposed to know in advance how I'll be feeling next week? It really annoys me when people just don't understand how unpredictable depression & anxiety is!!
Any feedback would be much appreciated, thanks.

[steveo]

I was going to post this exact message almost!!!

I've just hit the 30 day mark and everything has got worse for me too!!

I'm back in bed having panic attacks which happen badly each evening and morning. Yesterday was terrible. I cried for about 2 and a half hours solid! I just couldn't stop!

I completely understand the surrealness too. That's all come back to me right now. I feel like I did back when my breakdown started with a lowered appetite, increased anxiety and very bad vivid dreams with waking each night!

Why on earth is this happening? I really thought things were starting to settle out nicely!!!

[bab]

It could also be that the other tablets are coming out of your system now, and the other ones are just about to kick in - hang in there

[steveo]

All other tablets should be long gone out of our systems by now

[bab]

yes but you could still be having withdrwals and the others may not have kicked in yet. its just balancing itself out

[justbreathe1]

I'm on week 4 now too on Lexapro and could have written your post too. The 1st 2 weeks were so tough then I felt great but since yesterday I feel awful. I'm nauseous, anxious, lightheaded, exhausted and feel "out of it" like my eyes re funny or something.. Please please tell me this going to get better

[steveo]

How weird!!! 3 people!!!!!

Same here justbreathe1. The first 2 weeks weren't nice but then a week ago I was out and about with mates etc!!! Now since Monday I've been absolutely back to square one!!

I still remain very positive that it will get better. I assume it's just how the drug gets into our systems. I know an SSRI drug should be taken for at least 2 months to allow them to settle. 4/5 weeks just isn't long enough. I didn't expect this sort of decline after such a steady incline in my mental health!

I have exactly the same symptoms though. The out of it symptom is the worst. Yesterday I felt drugged up to my eye balls! The crying was horrible.

What dose are you on?

I'm on 10mg. Just stick with it!!! Lets use this to share our updates as we seem to be in this together!!!

[justbreathe1]

I totally agree steveo, the out of it feeling is awful. I feel like I just want to curl up in a ball and hide away until this all stops. I'm taking 5mgs. I'm supposed to increase to 10 but I tried it and I just couldn't tolerate the side effects. It's not AS bad on 5mgs
Tomorrows a new day and hopefully we will feel brighter xx