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Thread: Feeling worse on escitalopram...advice needed please!

  1. #21

    Re: Feeling worse on escitalopram...advice needed please!

    Hi all,

    How is everyone today? I hope you are feeling a little better SteveO, rotten isn't it?
    I have decided today that I really need to just concentrate on getting better rather than feeling pressured about going back to work. I need to take my time and start work again when I am absolutely ready, and not before. I'm feeling rather annoyed with myself for letting my main client stress me out so much. Since I have been off work, she has emailed me from time to time to discuss things. For some reason she thought it was appropriate to tell me that she had been having a difficult time for two weeks (this was her excuse for not sending me my cheque for work I did in March!!) and in a subsequent email she told me how tired and exhausted she was feeling. Fair enough, everyone feels crap from time to time but I feel she is telling me these things so that I feel guilty about not being at work. She also texted me early last saturday morning asking me if I could come in and do my usual lessons as the person who was supposed to cover for me was 'in hospital'. This worried me but I later found out that my colleague was in hospital because his wife was having a baby!!! I never went in though, I'm on sick leave and she bothers me with that...unbelieveable!! She is the owner of a small business that I work for and since being there, she has expected myself and other teachers to go over and above our duties, sometimes running the place for her when she decides to take a day off or clear off on holiday. We are freelancers and only paid to teach, we receive no extra pay when we do extra stuff for her!!! Anyway, my point is that she has made it difficult for me to switch off and concentrate on getting fully better, so I am just going to be straight with her and tell her that I will not be coming back until I have made a full recovery. She told me on Friday that if I don't come back next week she will have to find a new teacher to take over my lessons, as apparently she can no longer cover my lessons. She told me that she needs to know she can count on me to be there. She clearly has absolutely no understanding of mental illness whatsoever! I have spent a large part of this weekend thinking about it and feeling anxious. I feel she is really trying to force me to come back with no regard for my wellbeing. Sorry for the long rant but it just drives me so mad when people just don't get it that mental illness is a very real and debilitating illness. I wonder if she'd be reacting this way if I was off work with a broken limb?!!?

    Think I need to go for a long walk and forget about all this for now...

    Take care all x

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    826

    Re: Feeling worse on escitalopram...advice needed please!

    Diazepam has always worked well for me I thought. It's curbed the edge of my anxious times. I'm starting to think the low moods are to do with the diazepam too now though so I'm going to start coming off of it. Been on 4mg a day (2x2mg) for about 3 months now. My body is probably used to it.

    Still am really upset. Can't stop crying. Am very very tired. Can't be around people because of my DP/DR. Can't leave the house AT ALL! This time last week I was out with my mate playing golf!!

    I've never been so tearful in my whole life. I'm also feeling alot of anger too which I never feel. A whole mix of emotions. Im on my 33rd Escitalopram 10mg. I thought by now I would be having more good than bad days, not a repeat of the start of my breakdown.

    I just want to sleep all day. My appetite has gone again and I'm having trouble getting to sleep and dreaming ALOT with ALOT of VERY vivid dreams, just like at the start of my breakdown.
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  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
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    1,339

    Re: Feeling worse on escitalopram...advice needed please!

    AW Steve, I totally feel for you. I'm not sure what day of 10mg's I am on but I have been fine up until this week all in all but suddenly feel horrible too, just so weepy and depressed like yourself but hope it's just hormonal in my case and that it will pass. I must admit I've had some pretty bizarre dreams too and aren't sleeping well at all. Looking back to when I was on 5mg's when I was more worried about side effects, I did feel worse around the 3 to 4 week mark and began to pick up after 6 weeks so hopefully you are feeling as you do because the Escitalopram dose is peaking in your system and it will then start to settle down. Have you spoken to your doctor, oh sorry you have said you are finding it hard to get out. What about ringing the NHS helpline up and just asking them but I def remember feeling worst around the 30 day mark, I am certain I have been on 10mg's longer than that though so am just putting my horrible depression down to a blip.
    I really hope you feel better soon and you too STARFISH....that is so wrong of your employer putting pressure on you to return to work and using emotional black mail. You are so right that if it was another type of illness they wouldn't treat you this way. No one has any idea what mental illness is like until they have experienced it themselves, they just think it's feeling a it low hey, my own Dad has even said it to me,"Everybody feels fed up sometimes Karen" but it's not feeling fed up is it? For the first time in 5 months I have actually been worried today just how bad I feel right now and about he type of thoughts I have been having, also just wishing it was night time and sleep for a few hours...but I am gonna be positive and think tomorrow is another day and only a couple of days ago I was great and laughing about things!!! And I am def going to go to my doctor tomorrow and tell her.
    It's very early days for you guys though so just keep telling yourself things will get better because despite not feeling so good right now too, things do def get better!!! (much of the time!)

  4. #24

    Re: Feeling worse on escitalopram...advice needed please!

    Hi Karenp,

    Thanks for your message. I have been straight with my client and told her on Monday that I will not be returning to work until I've made a full recovery. I feel it was the right thing to do and I feel that she can no longer 'hold me to ransom' or make me feel guilty anymore. I have to think of myself and if she doesn't understand that then sod her!! How did your Doc appointment go? I also went to the docs this week for my 5 week check up. I told her all about my horrible symptoms and she said it is the side effects and that I need to hang in there a bit longer. However, she prescribed me 15 mg of seroplex and said I should start taking them straight away. I haven't taken them yet though as I've heard that upping the dose can increase the nasty symptoms? I'm also feeling a bit better today and don't want to jeapordise that. Do you have any advice? Thanks, and hope you're having a good week so far.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
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    Re: Feeling worse on escitalopram...advice needed please!

    Glad you are feeling a little better, the stress has probs been lifted off your shoulders a little too now you have sorted work out (: Plus your current dose should really be starting to kick on now and the side effects pass.
    I have only ever been up to 12mg's but I am supposed to go up to 15mg's too but just keep putting it off...I don't know why as I didn't find any of the increases too terrible but they just make me much more irritable first thing, the hot flashes come back and the horrible flat feeling for a couple of days but I get that still any how from time to time. I have never gone straight up in 5mg increases, always halved the pill so I am only increasing slightly, let that settle and then go up again. I do think I need the 15mg too as although I am mostly great during the day, early mornings are still very hard I find and I still need sedatives because there is anxiety there every time I wake up or the most horrible grief like feelings. Once I am up and out and occupied I feel normal much of the time but as you say, its just having to put up with the side effects again though I took Citalopram last time I was ill not escitalopram and I was terrified to go to full dose and that was the easiest increase I did and I was better after a fortnight and could have kicked myself for not going to full max before instead of not being quite right for many months. Let me know how you get on won't you as I really need to go to 5mg, I have the 5mg's pills from my doctor already to jus take along with my 10mg one.

  6. #26

    Re: Feeling worse on escitalopram...advice needed please!

    Hi Karen,

    Well, I have taken the plunge and just taken my first 15mg pill. I think I need to increase as although most of the side effects have gone now, I still have problems getting up in the morning, still feel anxious and nervy most of the time, and am avoiding going out of my comfort zone as much as possible. I feel I need to get some motivation and vitality back so just thought I may aswell try the higher dose and see how it goes. How are you feeling today? I can understand that you don't want to go up to 15mg but maybe over time going up would improve your difficult mornings and reduce the need for your other meds? Right now I don't take any sedatives and am keen not to as I once got hooked on them and suffered terrible withdrawal symptoms when I eventually came off them. It's a tough old road this mental illness lark isn't it? If you think about it, we must be really tough to be able to suffer this illness and go through all the ups and downs of the medication side effects as well as the illness itself. We should be proud of ourselves that we just keep going despite everything. Well..I hope you're having a good day so far, take care.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
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    1,339

    Re: Feeling worse on escitalopram...advice needed please!

    I am fine thanks darl and you are totally right!! I know I need to go up to mg and poss up to full 20mg's now to see if that will control my anxiety and depression properly. I know last time I took an SRI (Citalorpam) I needed to go right to the full max dose to get better and it happened after a fortnight and wasn't half as bad as I was expecting going up. I had a few hot flashes but don't even remember having terrible heightened anxiety. I spoke to a pharmasist who had personally been on the drug himself and who said because I was already used to having 20mg's of Citalorpam in my system, the increase would not be as bad as starting up and it wasn't and I remember going from 20 to 30 then up to 40 over the space of a fortnight and didn't need to pop Lorazepam every 2 mins! lol. So I don't know why I am so wimpy over going from 10 to 20mg's of Escitalopram as I intend to do it even slower, in quaters and know it could make all the difference and I could get off these sedatives I hate taking but luckily have never had probs tapering off in the past personally.
    My little boy needs 8 teeth out on Friday, it's kept getting postponed and I am very panicky over it as he is scared and that's triggering my anxiety, I am calm right now as it's not Friday yet but it's on my mind. I just want it over and then next week I really am going to take the plunge and go up to 12-5mg's again, then up to 15 and up to 20 eventually because I think you are right that I need it...after almost 6 months I should be much better than I am on a morning now, my days are good, my mood is usually good, I get very bad blip days but not many now but there's never a day that I wake up and feel good and not anxious.
    Any how how are you after your increase???? When I went from 7-5 to 10mg I didn't even think about it and that really seemed to help. I just seem to feel more agitated when I increase but I am trying to eat better now and taking vitamin suppliments too and the side effects do pass pretty quick I think with Escitalopram any how. Let me know how you are getting on won't you as I would love to hear, good or bad xxxx

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    826

    Re: Feeling worse on escitalopram...advice needed please!

    I'm on about my 40th Lexapro 10mg and I still feel awful. I dont think I'll be leaving the bed today.

    Lexapro worked so well for me before and so did Citalopram. And then I stopped for 3 months and now I just can't get back on it. Citalopram didn't work after 2 and a half months and now over a month of Escitalopram, I'm scared and having panic attacks.

    Don't know how much longer I should leave it.
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  9. #29

    Re: Feeling worse on escitalopram...advice needed please!

    I've been doing lots of research online and the general consensus is 8 weeks. After that if it isn't working it may be time to review it.

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    826

    Re: Feeling worse on escitalopram...advice needed please!

    8 Weeks sound fair to me.

    I'm just about to hit the 6 week mark in a day or 2. I tried to lower my diazepam which was probably a bad idea.

    I'm just scared because if this doesn't work, I don't know what other drug I'm willing to try. My p'doc wanted to switch me to Seroxat which I absolutely said NO WAY to.

    My main complaints at the moment are bad depersonalisation/derealisation, very bad tinitus, I find that I'm crying an awful lot of the time uncontrollably, fatigue and vivid dreams. I'm also hyper senstive to most stimuli, especially sound.
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