Finally got the nerve to take Citalopram 20mg, quite shocked and awed by how quickly my depression lifted, the Doctor said it takes weeks but it was like as many say - a veil had been lifted. I have avoidant personality disorder and have pretty much spent my entire life alone, a menial job to my credit and on top of that I live with a pair of alcoholics which as you can imagine is not pleasant. The feelings of anger, hatred towards everyone else having a great life (thanks Facebook), the self loathing and despair I was constantly overwhelmed with were oppressive, no friends at all and since I was recently made redundant I now see literally no one else.

I would say it was the placebo affect but I really didn't want to take them, I was terrified and expecting to be sick all day and feeling wretched, but God what a strange feeling to suddenly feel almost normal again. Now the bad news, the one side effect you don't want to suffer - the sexual one also started straight away.

Now as you can imagine someone with my life doesn't have a girlfriend or loving partner, while everything still worked if I wanted strenuous exercise I would get on my bike and go for a ride, the frustration of this side affect I cannot live with. What I have discovered though is Bupropion, an effective antidepressant without sexual side effects, in the UK it's only used for quitting smoking but I have decided to order some from a pharmacy and give it a go now I know that antidepressants can help rather than return to my Doctor in two weeks with my psych questionnaire and be laughed at asking him for the other drug.

My Doctor is just going through the motions, they don't tailor your treatment to your individual need and life, it's very frustrating no matter what you tell them they just give you the same drug they give everyone else and it's almost like a Communist system.