So many different anxieties to cope with...

[Soon to be happy]

Hi everyone,
I was just wondering if anyone could help me out/give me some answers or generally reassure me!

I get anxious at many things and they're all getting worse as time goes on - I want to deal with it now before it gets too bad!

The first one, and,in my opinion, the worst one is going out in crowded spaces.
The reason I have joined this site is because recently I went shopping in town with my husband, it's the Easter holidays and town was full of both adults and children. I always get a little bit stressed in town but this time I completely freaked out. Everything was so disorganised, people just stopping right in front of me, children running around. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was so stressed I had to get out of there. My husband said that I just switched off, one min he was talking to me then I was gone, had seen a space in the crowds and raced off towards it. When we got back to the car he quizzed me about it and until we had talked quite deeply about it I didn't realise it was such a problem - in my head I was getting annoyed - even angry, know i needed to get out of that situation but didn't see how much of a problem it was causing my husband.

My second thing is to do with my friends. I find myself putting them down, in my head, not to their faces, I think it's to make myself feel better. I'd rather not do it, I just can't seem to stop. I'm a very jealous person over my friends, I'm more in control of my jealousy over my husband. A recent example;
My friends from work live around 1 hour away from me, as it's the Easter hols (we work in a school), we've been arranging to meet up. I always go to their houses, as they all live much nearer to each other than I do, and one time I invited them all to mine, which was fine, one of them was going to drive and the other girl was going to get a lift. The morning of the day in question the driving girl asked me if I could go to hers instead, I couldn't as my husband had the car and said no, she then said she couldn't come and I didn't hear from her again for a while. I then started to panic. Thoughts ran through my head that they didn't like me, had arranged not to come between them, basically were conspiring against me, especially when I found out they had gone out together that day.
My husband convinced me to ask her why she couldn't come and she said she couldn't afford the fuel money, which I suppose it's fair enough. But I didn't hear from my other friend about why she couldn't come....

The third thing is money... And could be linked to shopping anxiety and friend anxiety.
I can't bear to spend money. If someone says would I like to do this or that my first response is 'NO'! I can't afford it'. Even though I could work out finances and save a bit here and there to pay for it. My husband really has to encourage me to treat myself every now and again, and we miss out in so much, just because I can't break out of my comfort zone.

Thanks you for taking the time to read this jumbled up post - all my thoughts came out at once! Any help/advice you can give me would be very gratefully appreciated. I need to conquer this before it takes over completely.

Thanks again!

[Magic]

Soonto be happy,
I cannot give you any answers. Sorry
Crowded places are a no no for me---as for friends I have one.
We are ok with each other and get on well.
I have friends on nmp.
As for spending money that is where I differ from you.
I go shopping by myself on the bus once a week and buy things I could do without,
but it gets me out of the house. Some days I cannot go I feel like a big black cloud
has surrounded me.
I hope some one can help you Soon to be happy

[Soon to be happy]

Thanks for replying Magic,
I suppose a lot of the help is knowing there are other people in similar situations. It helps get rid of the 'I'm all alone in this nightmare' feeling.
Hope you feel better soon.

[BobbyDog]

The jealousy seems to be insecurity related, perhaps low self esteem?

The shopping center I can completely relate to - panic attack! I have been that person many times.

Telling people you "can't afford to go out" - avoidance behavior.......

If you haven't had CBT or other therapies, perhaps it would help you deal with these issues. I know the panic attacks are very frightening, but the other things could probably be ironed out very easily. You can self refer in some areas, if that is not possible, speak to your doctor about it. No Panic(not this site), offer group telephone recovery, which is one hour a week for 14 weeks, it was a God send for me.

[Soon to be happy]

Thanks BobbyDog,
I have often wondered about the insecurity thing - and was wondering wether it might be related to my anxiety.
Thanks for the advice on 'no panic', I'll look them up and see how I go with that. As for the avoidance on the financial side, I totally agree... If I don't go out with my friends I don't have to go to a busy place etc or get to 'attached' to my friends - hence not having to deal with anxiety over my insecurities.
I suppose realising this is part of the struggle towards getting better.
Thanks again!