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Thread: I prefer staying at home than going out. What's the problem?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    495

    Angry I prefer staying at home than going out. What's the problem?

    I'm SO sorry guys, but I need to rant..

    I love being at home. It's my most favourite place to be at and I'm more safer, more comfortable, appreciated by family etc etc.

    I'm always getting told to 'get a life' or to 'get out more' just because I prefer to stay at home at either play video games or just go on my laptop. Thing is, how is my life affecting anyone else?! It ISN'T. So why is it that people need to tell me that what I am doing is wrong and that people like me should be shot for not associating with society?

    When I had so-called friends in school it always lead to petty drama or fall-outs anyway.. I was the nicest student ever in school. Even the teachers and parents said so. Every teacher enjoyed having me in their classes and was upset when they found out that I had to be pulled out of school because I was bullied so much that I was extremely suicidal.

    I'm just not appreciated by anyone else besides my family. I tried and tried and TRIED to arrange meetings and stuff with loads of people before but they've ALWAYS made excuses not to go or whatever. I never get spoken to when I'm with people anyway. I'm always left out and when I do start a conversation it only lasts 10 seconds... People also look at me weirdly when I talk about things and it just ruins my confidence. I always get asked 'why don't you speak much?' or 'man, you're booooring'.

    I'm now an extremely grumpy, selfish, very irritable and insecure person. The total opposite to how I used to be years ago.. It was my bad experience in school with people that has made me this way. It's really bad but I'm starting to hate everyone... (Not you lovely members on here though of course ).

    Anyone else on here like I am? Or could give advice to what I could do? I'm so sad because of other people insulting me all the time. :(
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  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    61

    Re: I prefer staying at home than going out. What's the problem?

    Hi there nothing wrong with stayin in,so dont let people put u down bout this!i very rarely leavr my house as i feel safer in my own home,i keep myself to myself now as i thnk friends come n go,its a goud thng thzt your family suppodt u that the main thng,u do wat feels right for ,dont let people force u into thngs u dont want to do,

  3. #3

    Re: I prefer staying at home than going out. What's the problem?

    Hi there,
    I'm exactly the same, i have been living in my own world since i remember and I always been a loner, I also was bullied at school. My confidence is very low as well as my self esteem. I feel very comfortable and save at home, but when i look at my life from outside I see how lonely and miserable it is, i developed social anxiety and i feel very uncomfortable with people now, i avoid social situations at all cost, Recently i started CBT theraphy, but it may be very hard to change old habit of keeping myself for myself.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    495

    Re: I prefer staying at home than going out. What's the problem?

    Ohh, thank you guys so much. Sorry about my main post, it was more of a rant than anything but I'm glad you both understand.

    Do you both have trusting issues as well? I just cannot trust anyone anymore, not even my family sometimes! :( I hate being this way, but as I said to my Mum once, I'd rather be too cautious than anything else.

    It's really bad and I hate myself for this but if I see someone that could start a conversation with me then I just pretend I never see them and get away quick. It's just that I never know what to say and I'm a 'small talk' type of person so conversations never last longer than 2 minutes anyway. Then again, it depends what the subject is about. If it's about computers or video games then I can have a decent conversation with someone.

    When I was in college, nearly everyone in my class spoke about relationships or drama with other people. Nothing else. I don't see how that's interesting to talk about. Then again, I'm probably just saying that because I've never been in a relationship before so I don't know what it's like. :P

    I'm seeing a psychiatrist at the moment since I'm very depressed but it doesn't seem to be helping. I'm getting frustrated that I am not enjoying the things I used to enjoy anymore as well. :(
    __________________
    I'm a ginger jedi!

    .....and a ninja.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    1,164

    Re: I prefer staying at home than going out. What's the problem?

    There's nothing wrong with staying at home, I used to go out a lot but it just wasn't me, I much prefer doing things that I want to do and I get so bored around people who just gossip all the time.

  6. #6

    Re: I prefer staying at home than going out. What's the problem?

    I feel like that, its just so secure and safer at home than going out.
    Im 16 and before my breakdown I used to have a so called "life" as they say.
    My point is don't let anyone make you feel different or abnormal just because you relish in the security of your own home,
    If you ask me it's a more wiser option.
    Stay home and stay Awesome.
    Krystal x.

  7. #7

    Re: I prefer staying at home than going out. What's the problem?

    I'm exactly the same... I've got to really push myself to make arrangements to go out and keep to them! Though I don't think there's anything wrong at all with preferring to stay at home. In fact, I love the money I save by staying in!

    I've also just completed a treatment of CBT... my therapist basically told me to try and go out somewhere everyday, even if it's just to the shop. Fun times. ;/

  8. #8

    Re: I prefer staying at home than going out. What's the problem?

    I am at the other end of the spectrum - 6O in years, but still 18 at heart! I DO force myself to go out once a week (in the evening) but the first thing I ALWAAYS say when we get home, is 'Oh, it's SO good to be home' - after all, it's our safe place xx

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    244

    Re: I prefer staying at home than going out. What's the problem?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rls1994 View Post
    I'm SO sorry guys, but I need to rant..

    I love being at home. It's my most favourite place to be at and I'm more safer, more comfortable, appreciated by family etc etc.

    I'm always getting told to 'get a life' or to 'get out more' just because I prefer to stay at home at either play video games or just go on my laptop. Thing is, how is my life affecting anyone else?! It ISN'T. So why is it that people need to tell me that what I am doing is wrong and that people like me should be shot for not associating with society?

    When I had so-called friends in school it always lead to petty drama or fall-outs anyway.. I was the nicest student ever in school. Even the teachers and parents said so. Every teacher enjoyed having me in their classes and was upset when they found out that I had to be pulled out of school because I was bullied so much that I was extremely suicidal.

    I'm just not appreciated by anyone else besides my family. I tried and tried and TRIED to arrange meetings and stuff with loads of people before but they've ALWAYS made excuses not to go or whatever. I never get spoken to when I'm with people anyway. I'm always left out and when I do start a conversation it only lasts 10 seconds... People also look at me weirdly when I talk about things and it just ruins my confidence. I always get asked 'why don't you speak much?' or 'man, you're booooring'.

    I'm now an extremely grumpy, selfish, very irritable and insecure person. The total opposite to how I used to be years ago.. It was my bad experience in school with people that has made me this way. It's really bad but I'm starting to hate everyone... (Not you lovely members on here though of course ).

    Anyone else on here like I am? Or could give advice to what I could do? I'm so sad because of other people insulting me all the time. :(
    me too, i love being at home. all my favourite things are here, all the food and internet is here lol. and i love my family, so i love being with them. the problem is, my family think i spend too much time at home, and when you spend 99% of your time with someone, there are bound to be arguments and awkwardness at times. it has made me quite unable to talk to other people without being misunderstood.

    however, when you are in your comfort zone too much, it makes it hard when you have to get out there and make your own way - which everybody eventually does need to. there are certain social etiquette and situations that you need to be able to handle and sometimes if you spend too much time at home it can be hard to know what to say in these 'foreign' situations.

    that said, i think staying home is absolutely fine. just make sure you get 30 mins exercise everyday, and try to at least go to the shops or meet up with friends a few times a month at least. that way, you won't feel so threatened when it comes to being outside. friends/partners don't come knocking on the door unless it's the gasman. just being out there, even walking around a bit, you will encounter many cool and interesting people. not all of them are mean or scary. there are a lot of nice people around, and seeing and meeting people is something that makes life more rich. you don't even have to talk for a long time. just smile at the cashier or say thank you to the guy holding the door for you. it's nice. it's a thrill. and if they don't like you, no loss. and if they do, that could be a new friend.

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