No joy in my life

[Polar Bear]

Every little thing seems to send me into a rage then I feel guilty then depressed at this continuous circle of despair.

I thought that I was getting better (have been having counselling for the past couple of years and this has really helped) but I keep getting angry at every little thing. The latest anxiety is parking outside my home. Getting anxious and angry about someone parking outside my house on the pavement. Why are people so inconsiderate?

My counsellor a while back asked me about the joy in my life. She is right that there is no joy in my life whatever I have or do nothing makes me feel happy.

Like many my work (self employed) is drying up and the worry of increased financial problems is playing on my mind. I'm just in a loop that I can't break free from. Negativity all the time is breaking my body. I'm not young and fit as I was once and I just feel physically and mentally worn out.

How do I get enough energy and strength to take the steps I need to break this cycle? I've had these problems for as long as I remember (decades). In the last month or so I felt that I was starting to think straight. In the last few days I've really dipped down again.

I've got to do something with my thinking to break this because I know that slowly but surely this is destroying me.

Mike

[SeroxVet]

Hi Polar Bear. Have you tried CBT - cognitive behavioural therapy? You say you've had counselling for a few years. While it may have helped you in some ways, it doesn't appear to have helped in dealing with your negative thinking. CBT is all about breaking the negative cycle and changing the way you think. I've just read a good CBT manual called Mind Over Mood and I'm going to try and get some sessions with a CBT therapist. The research certainly suggests CBT does have positive outcomes for many people.

[Polar Bear]

Thanks for that. I've not tried CBT. Yes my negative thinking seems to be a big problem for me.

Will explore the possibilities of doing some of this.

Thanks for your help

[Edie]

I'm sorry you feel this way. It's miserable. CBT could be helpful for this as it's designed to change your thought patterns. There are loads of books that could help you make a start, such as Mind Over Mood like SeroxVet suggested. Working through some techniques with a trained therapist who knows about your individual circumstances is going to be better than any book, but a book would definitely be a start.

Is there anything at all that you might enjoy or look forward to? Anything you used to enjoy that might bring you some pleasure again?

I hope you can find a way forward because living like this is really hard.

[theharvestmouse]

CBT does help with negative thinking, and I'm someone who had developed a really negative outlook on life. CBT has helped me through some bad times.

[kittikat]

My counsellor a while back asked me about the joy in my life. She is right that there is no joy in my life whatever I have or do nothing makes me feel happy.

I think lots of us will relate to this. And yes, negative thinking plays a big part in how we view both ourselves and the world around us.

I spend most of my time 'imprisoned' within my safe zone, home. It is counterproductive and zaps you of confidence, motivation and energy. CBT did help me to a point but that was mainly for my anxiety and panic, we only touched on the depressive issue as this did not develop in me until I was near to the end of my therapy sessions.

One thing I did get from it though was to make a list of things you want to do or could do that would give you some joy or something to look forward to, like with a goal or a treat at the end of it. I have used this method a few times and it definitely helps. The hardest part is keeping it up and having the motivation to do it in the first place.

The only other thing you can do is try not to look forward, just take each day as it comes and tell yourself you will do one small thing that pleases you each day or helps to sort out the things that you need to address. Worry time...you set aside a small amount of time to worry about the things that you have to face and what ever you can't deal with, leave for tomorrows worry time and try again. I know this is easier said than done, but still, maybe worth a try?

I hope you can find a positive way forward. Kitti

[Polar Bear]

Thanks for your help all.

I'm still doing one hobby (Sports Coaching) that I've done for years but haven't been enjoying that lately. The idea of writing a list sounds good. I'll try that.

Need something to take my mind off things to lighten things up a bit. Had a bad day yesterday thinking about something that didn't go well the previous day.

Today has started better. Just hope in can last a bit! Just get this constant feeling of anxiety and my confidence is non existent in whatever I do. Will look into the CBT as the negative thinking all the time is awful

Thanks again for all your comments and support