Saying no to an invitation

[littlemissshy]

My Best friend has invited me to her second wedding, to get there would involve having to get two trains and a taxi. I would be going alone and I don't know anyone at the wedding apart from her parents.

The first part scares me enough, I've travelled alone before but never having to change trains and I've never in 40 yrs used a taxi as I have anxiety about being alone with the driver. It's also an expensive journey. But I really don't want to go to the wedding, period. I hate the thought of having to go and trying to make small talk with strangers. I would also have to stay overnight, which would mean I wouldn't be able to leave the reception early.

Do you think saying i'm uncomfortable with the journey is enough of a reason to turn down the invite? She is very well travelled and doesn't think anything of complicated journeys.

[xtremx]

Hi littlemissshy

I honestly think saying that you are uncomfortable with the journey is a good enough reason to turn down the invite..

But... I did a journey 2 weeks ago to Bristol (150 miles from me) and stayed over the night in a B&B does not sound a lot does it. Well that is the first time in over 2 years I have travelled on my own with out a driver or anything I had to do a bus journey first that was just under a hour (last time on a bus I had a major Panic Attack and had to get off and get a taxi in the middle of nowhere).
Then it was the 1st of two trains and then 3 hours later I was in Bristol and wow I did it all alone and then I stayed over in Bristol (1st time in 20 years being away from home) and then the next day I did the same journey home.

But I had something waiting for me in Bristol (Like a reward) and that made it possible for me to do the journey I thought I would fail but I did not.. It was not easy but I did it.

And now my cousin (have not seen for about 28 years) wants me to meet him in London (270 miles from me) later this month for lunch and that means I will stay over for a few days.. Now that scares me as it will be peak time travel and the sun will be out and I will feel hot and bothered but I'm going to do it I may fail but I will try and see.

So don't rule out your friends wedding if you explain to her you never know you maybe able to work something out so it means you can get to the wedding in a manner that you will feel comfortable with.. Never rule anything out..

[AlexandriaUK]

Is it possible that some one else will be going and you could hitch a ride with them, cuts the costs as well.
If you really don't want to go then your friend will understand I am sure, but when its over you may wish you had gone and then its too late, life goes by so quickly and looking back their are many things I wished I had done when I had the chance but backed out because of my anxiety.
The decision is yours but I hope you manage to go and have a fab time.

[Edie]

Do you have a friend who might come with you? If it's soneone who knows about your difficulties and will stick beside you and help with conversations, then all the better.

Are you staying at the reception venue? Because you could slip away to your room for breaks if you are.

If she's your friend then she should understand your need to bring someone. I'm sure she'd really love to have her best friend at the wedding, but if you just can't manage then a good friend would understand that too.

[littlemissshy]

Thanks everyone for the advice. It's not possible to bring a friend as they are keeping the numbers small. My problem is I keep thinking of everything that might go wrong getting there and that's before I even get to the being social at a wedding part!
I'm still undecided but I will talk to my friend about it and take it from there.