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Thread: Another bout of depression and anxiety

  1. #1

    Another bout of depression and anxiety

    I just wanted to vent, sorry if this is not the correct place to do so. I just feel that talking or writing down how I am feeling helps.

    I have suffered from depression and anxiety for about 2 years. I stopped taking my medication (citalopram) at Christmas without telling my doctor (I know, that was very stupid). I just ran out and never bothered going back for more as I felt okay. I felt fine for the first month but now I just feel worse than ever.

    I'm upset because I feel stupid, I'm going to have to go back to the doctor to explain. I'm worried that he won't help now. But I now know the reason I felt 'fine' was the citalopram and I was silly to stop so abruptly.

    I'm feeling incredibly anxious about everything. I feel down, negative, upset and can't see a way forward. I can't sleep, barely eat and my mind just runs in overdrive constantly.

    I know that the meds will help me. I have been at my darkest point before and I got through it and I am going through a dark stage now and I know I will get through this too but it is so hard just now.

    Does this ever get any easier?

    Claire

  2. #2

    Re: Another bout of depression and anxiety

    Sorry to read that you're feeling low. But please don't think bad of yourself for stopping the meds as I know lots of people who have done this and believe me if I do then your gp will. They are not there to judge you, so go back and explain how you're feeling and that you feel you want to go back on the medication. As to whether it gets easier the answer (for me anyway is yes and no) it's never easy when you feel so low but you now have experience of it so you know that what you are feeling now will pass with time and the right help so in that respect I think it does get easier. So please don't be hard on yourself ( remember that's the depression and anxiety taking) and remember that you'll be on the road to recovery soon.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
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    Re: Another bout of depression and anxiety

    Claire, I'm so sorry to hear this.
    I've done exactly the same thing and felt so stupid afterwards. I don't know about you but I'm desperate to not have to rely on medication so as soon as I was feeling better I stopped and then plummeted downwards. I now realise that the medication was having a physical effect on my symptoms but I also needed counselling to help address the deep-rooted emotional issues.

    Your GP will understand and ultimately wants you to get well again so certainly wouldn't be denying you what you need. If you don't find he or she understanding see a different doc in your practice but I can assure you they will have seen plenty of people who have done this.

    I really hope you feel better soon. Wishing you all the best, J x

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    Re: Another bout of depression and anxiety

    Your GP will be fine, I did the same, I stopped taking my meds because I felt ok, I didn't do it slowly like you are supposed to which was stupid of me, and I ended up worse than I have ever been! I went back and I am now on citalopram which is really helping and my doctor has been great.
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  5. #5

    Re: Another bout of depression and anxiety

    Thank you for your replies, they really have helped. Just to know I am not alone. I am sure you understand when you are anxious it is very hard to think rationally.

    I will book an appointment with my GP and ask him for some help. He helped me before so I am sure he will help me again.

    I think you are right, you are so desperate to not have to rely on medication that as soon as you feel okay you think that's it 'sorted' but I have now come to realise that the road is much longer than I thought.

  6. #6
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    Apr 2013
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    Re: Another bout of depression and anxiety

    Quote Originally Posted by MrsA View Post
    Thank you for your replies, they really have helped. Just to know I am not alone. I am sure you understand when you are anxious it is very hard to think rationally.

    I will book an appointment with my GP and ask him for some help. He helped me before so I am sure he will help me again.

    I think you are right, you are so desperate to not have to rely on medication that as soon as you feel okay you think that's it 'sorted' but I have now come to realise that the road is much longer than I thought.
    Exactly! It's so so hard to be rational when anxiety is eating you up inside. It is a long road but I firmly believe there is an end to this journey.
    And you are certainly not alone.
    Jx

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
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    2,192

    Re: Another bout of depression and anxiety

    A similar thing has happened to me. I came off my meds at the end of February and I was fine for a month, but just after Easter the anxiety came back. This is even though I came off them gradually (as instructed by the doctor) and in spite of me continuing with my coping techniques. In some ways it doesn't feel as bad as it did last summer, so I think I have made progress, but it's still very unpleasant and I feel really disheartened that it's come back. I really thought that I was back to normal and that it wouldn't come back again.
    I've got another doctor's appointment next Thursday and I'll probably go back on citalopram. I was only on it for about 6 months in total and even though I felt a lot better, now I'm thinking it probably wasn't long enough after all.

    Many of my current symptoms are the same as yours - disrupted sleep, low appetite, anxious, feeling down and finding it difficult to see a way forward. I just hope it will be OK if we can go back on the meds again.
    __________________

  8. #8

    Re: Another bout of depression and anxiety

    I think I have just realised very recently that I have an illness. It's so easy to understand illness when it is obvious and you can see it like a broken leg or arm. But illness in the form that I (read we) have is so often misunderstood because others can't see it or relate to it. That irritates me so much.

    I'm really glad that I came across this forum and I am able to talk to others about how I am feeling and to realise that many of you have been there or are currently there with me.

    Sparkle1984 - good luck at your doctor's appointment next Thursday. I hope you get on okay and if you do go back on citalopram that it helps you.

    Positive thoughts to all.

  9. #9

    Re: Another bout of depression and anxiety

    Hello Claire,

    I have done exactly what you did. I was on lustral 100mg for 6 months for severe anxiety/mild depression. When I felt good and thought I had everything under control, I gradually stopped in a months time. Boy, was that the worst decision I have ever made. I was ok for 3 months but the then, I was in a really really dark place. Went back to my phsyc and he put me back on lustral again. I have started again 3 days ago and I am still going with startup symptoms where you feel your anxiety get worst before it gets better.

    I wish the both of us the best and relief from our symptoms.

    aBdUL

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
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    2,192

    Re: Another bout of depression and anxiety

    Thanks Claire, I hope you get on OK at the doctor's too.

    I wonder why so many people relapse after coming off meds? Sometimes it makes me wonder if I'll ever fully recover.
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