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Thread: A childhood phobia faced full on!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    A childhood phobia faced full on!

    Hi all. Thought i'd share something with you.

    Since a child, I had a fear or phobia of a character from a UK childrens TV show. The show was called "Knightmare" and the character was called "Lord Fear". It started once when I was a boy and I had a really bad dream after watching the show that he cornered me in a room and got me. I remember I woke up and I had wet the bed. I must have only been 9/10 years old, but still it was extremely frightening.

    Ever since then, I have not been able to watch the programme (it's a bit of a cult show, so quite rare. When I was about 13, a new series was going to be shown, and I caught a glimpse of the character in the local TV listings - I immediately had to look away and could not bare to look again. I avoided the TV listings like mad for the week, and threw it in the bin when it was out of date. The same happened one year later when the last series was being aired. This must have been 1994.

    As time has passed and the technology has progressed, I made a conscious effort not to go near Knightmare online for the fear of what I may see. I have always stayed away from old kids TV shows forums and sites, worried that I may see something.

    The other night, in bed, I see an advert for Knightmare being re-shown after all this time. My heart started racing, and I became really hot. I thought there was no chance of avoiding seeing this character "Lord Fear" now.

    The following day at work, all I could think of was what if I saw this advert again, and I saw this character. I couldn't cope. I started googling little bits that might show me the show Knightmare. Late in the day, I saw a small thumbnail size image of "Lord Fear". The first time in 20 years. Initially my heart raced, but then it calmed. I thought, it doesn't seem too bad, but I daredn't expand it. After a moment or two, I decided to take the plunge and expand it. There he was - the character I had been scared of all through my teenage years staring at me, and me staring back. I was strong. My heart gradually calmed. I then watched the video he was in - and I was quite calm. Having grown up must have made me tougher. I thought, finally, I have done it. I am free!

    Now, a day or so has passed, and I find myself having to keep looking at pictures of him, and watching videos, and keep convincing myself that yes, I can watch this show and look at this character. But, his face, and the show is all I can think of. Part of me wants to slip back to worry, but the bulk of me looks again and says "see? no threat!" It's weird. Now I have seen the character and the show after so long, I am hoping the obsession will go down. I just feel a bit alone with it (my wife can't understand what the fuss is about!). It seems like such a monumental thing that I have done - and it took some doing, but will I be able to stop keep checking photos/web sites and keep convincing myself that I aren't scared any more?

    Thanks. Roj.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    2,386

    Re: A childhood phobia faced full on!

    Well done! You tackled your fear. The next stage of your journey is maybe to completely forget about it. You might come back to it in 5 years time and think, hey I used to be scared of that, or some of the fear might have come back and you will need to practise exposure to get rid of it. Once you know that your anxiety levels have gone right down when you look at this character now, leave the topic alone for a set amont of time, like a week, and come back to it then. Then make it two weeks, then three. Eventually you will just forget.
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    Re: A childhood phobia faced full on!

    Good advice - thank you so much - and thanks for reading!

  4. #4
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    Jul 2011
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    21

    Re: A childhood phobia faced full on!

    Must admit I'm finding it a bit difficult tonight, as its constantly on my mind. I know I'd be able to to look at an image/footage of him, but I don't really want to. I just want to put it all to the back of my mind but I just can't... All this is overshadowing the achievement of being able to look at him again in the first place!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
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    Re: A childhood phobia faced full on!

    Oh my goodness ! How brave you have been so far . You dont have to do what you dont want to so try to realize what you have achieved. Nobody is keeping score and you being able to confront this phobia is amazing. Dont ruminate over it and dont underestimate your achievement. It took a lot of courage.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    21

    Re: A childhood phobia faced full on!

    Thanks for your kind words. You feel alone and kind of silly when you keep thinking things over and just getting it off your chest and hearing others opinions means so much. Thank you.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    Re: A childhood phobia faced full on!

    Welldone for faceing it :-) I was frightened of the whole programme as a child I remember it well.
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