First experience of Citalopram

[Tea and Sympathy]

I've had several episodes of depression & anxiety throughout my life, the past few months have been a downward spiral, the moods have combined with poor health (bad fatigue to the point that the GPs are investigating ME) to leave me in a dark place.

I've been seeing a counselor since the beginning of April, that's helped think of things more clearly but hasn't resolved anything, the problems are too deeply ingrained. Their Mental Health Advisor referred me to the GP, who prescribed Citalopram 20mg for depression & anxiety.

I study Psychology so am very wary of antidepressants as I'm aware of the side effects & the delay in their benefits. However I was so low & increasingly anxious at the slightest thing that I was willing to give them a try alongside counselling. I began taking the medication 3 days ago at a half dose to ease me in, I already have bad nausea & headaches. I begin the full dose the day after tomorrow. To say that I'm worried and scared about their side effects & how they will affect me is an understatement. To make things worse my exams start the Tuesday so im panicked about how i'll handle those with no motivation or energy & potential side effects from the full dose hitting me.

I just need some encouragement, does it really get easier?

[violet12]

Hi I also started on Citalopram recently. Today is day 7 for me.

Everyone's journey is different, but on the whole what i've read has been encouraging. The hardest part being the first few weeks. The first week has been uncomfortable but bearable for me. I see today as a milestone..end of week 1! Onwards & upwards! Keep us informed of your progress

[Tea and Sympathy]

Hi I also started on Citalopram recently. Today is day 7 for me.

Everyone's journey is different, but on the whole what i've read has been encouraging. The hardest part being the first few weeks. The first week has been uncomfortable but bearable for me. I see today as a milestone..end of week 1! Onwards & upwards! Keep us informed of your progress

Congratulations on beating the first week!
I think that's what I need to do really, mark off weeks/months as milestones as a way to keep me focused & to keep going.
Today isn't great woke up feeling rather lightheaded & too nauseous to eat much. I really hope this passes soon...

Thanks for your support!

[Tea and Sympathy]

I'm slowly in the process of getting my exams pushed back to the reassessment dates in August, which will help massively reduce the levels of stress and anxiety I'm under at the moment, fingers crossed that gets approved by my university.

Last night was really rough for some reason, my mood was concerningly low & my thoughts were getting more and more negative to the point where I was terrified to be left alone because of what I might do.

I also started the full dose of citalopram (20mg) following the first 4 days of half dose, surprisingly it didn't hit me as hard as I thought it would in terms of side effects, odd considering how nauseous I've been lately!

I'm taking each day as it come, baby steps to make it through this.

[keithwms]

T&S, my own experience with citalopram and some other meds is that around week 2 is the roughest. That seems to be when the effects on thoughts begin and it takes a while for them to even out and start improving.

First of all, don't be afraid. Keep talking about it, describe it as best you can, and that will help. It's best if you have someone there to speak with, but if not then tell us! I find that disclosure really helps.

I wrote a bit about this in the other thread in this section, about the wired/tired feeling, the racing mind etc., you might have a look there. Know that you will have some unpleasant thoughts and mood swings and that is par for the course.

The way I rationalize this is that there is no need to fear the known: if you know it'll test you with some negative thoughts and anxiety, then you can keep reminding yourself that it is temporary, and that might help you set it aside. I don't think we can make the spontaneous negative feelings go away completely but we can head them off at the pass by being ready.

And yes.. unfortunately these things tend to come up around sleep times, which is when i suppose we're most vulnerable to negative thoughts.

I think it is really important to have some things that help you break through the negative thoughts... activities, for example. What you don't want to do is sit there and stare at the wall and fixate on your thoughts!

For me, doing something that engages my thought process... online chess, playing piano, exercise, talking to friends and family... work well to break through the fog.

Hang in there, you're near the point where you will round a corner and feel benefit. But it may get a bit rougher first, just temporarily.

I hope that you feel better soon.

[Tea and Sympathy]

Thank you for your support, that has brightened my afternoon!

I think talking about this is one of the main things I find hard, I tend to bottle things up and pretend im fine or just sit and wallow in misery and panic for hours on end. I know its not healthy, I just need to learn what works for me as positive distractions and coping methods. I need to learn how to control this better and not let it control me.

I'll read through your post in a moment, I think looking at how others are affected by this experience and how they cope will help me a lot

I like how you rationalise that 'there's no need to fear the known', I will try to bear that in mind, I think it'll help me a lot in the next few weeks.

Thank you, I hope you're doing well too!

[keithwms]

Thanks.

I am sorry you find it hard to talk about it. It can really be beneficial to have full disclosure with at least one other person... or website

You know, one of the things that's really fairly typical of us anxious/depressed types is that we think we're strong enough to go it alone. We assume we have this burden for a reason and it's our own cross to bear! I don't know if that describes you but it seems to describe me and many of my colleagues on this venture.

One of the big lessons from this may be that you need to be able to open up and simply identify and speak about what's troubling you. And it'll be fine. Really. At first, I felt so horribly embarrassed just to say that I felt depressed. But then I thought about some of the young people I'm around and all the stuff they go through- would I want them to bottle it all up? No, of course not. I would feel awful to learn that one of them is really struggling and couldn't come to me because of fear or embarrassment or that whole martyrdom syndrome of believing that this is a very private ailment best kept quiet.

Just put it out there and know that many people want to feel helpful!

[Spot-the-frog]

Hi T&S
I bottled things up too for way too long, I was ashamed and embarrassed to talk about it until it all got too much and I couldn't cope so I had to tell someone. That someone was my sister and my partner, both who have been incredibly understanding. I eventually told the rest of my family and a few close friends, i don't feel the need to tell the postman - lol.

Writing on here has also helped, as i know that whatever I write will be read with understanding and compassion, we are all in the same boat. It has been quite liberating.

So go ahead and let us know how you feel, we are all here to help and support.
Karen x

[Tea and Sympathy]

Thank you both for your advice & support, they've really helped!

I think writing on here will help me not bottle things up so much, I've been trying to talk to people more about my problems, I've told my partner, some friends and my parents but I still find it hard to talk about the every day struggles, I'm worried it may just seem like I'm not getting any better, I know its a little silly to think but its a thought I need to overcome.

On a positive note, I passed the week one point on Thursday, I was a little ill after upping to the full dose but it seems to have plateaued to just nausea and the occasional headache at the moment. Fingers crossed week two isn't as hellish as I've heard!

[Sparkle1984]

I think you are doing well so far. I also used to bottle up my emotions a lot, and I still do in many respects. However, I have found it helpful to talk to people about how I'm feeling. I'm on Day 10 of 10mg, and im starting to feel the early signs of recovery. I'm hoping it won't be necessary for me to go up to 20mg like a lot of people on here. I managed fine on 10mg last year so I'm hoping it will be the same this time around.

I personally find the first week to be the hardest of all, so hopefully week 2 won't be as difficult for you.