A lack of routine

[NE21 worrier]

Hello everyone,

I would like to start a fresh thread on the topic of my lack of routine. I would admit myself that mine is atrocious.

For e.g. Yesterday and today, I have set reasonable morning alarms on my mobile phone so that I can look to achieve something with my day. I guess one of the problems is that my mobile phone lives under my pillow at night - this is to ensure the alarm will definitely wake me up. However, this also makes it easy to turn off and turn over for some more shut-eye. This has happened for the last two days and on several occasions before that.

Now, the last time I was signed off work and found myself doing this, I returned to work prematurely - an undeniable mistake - since, if anything, I think my lack of routine, as well as being laziness on my part, is part of the problem and down to a general lack of self-esteem and self-worth.

This lack of routine and self-esteem contributes to my anxiety as I generally get panic attacks if I am going somewhere I have not been before, or if I am doing something I haven't done before. I just don't believe that I will be able to do it if I've never done it before.

Moreover, even when I am at work, my morning routine was very basic and not really much improved from my student days. I'd roll out of bed, splash water on my face, throw some clothes on, down a cup of tea (made by mum), pick up my lunch (again made by mum), and head out of the car. Often I won't even brush my teeth as I've found occasionally that this makes me gag, sometimes I will use mouthwash instead if I remember. Just reading that back sounds ridiculous.

I would dearly like to improve this aspect of my life. I feel really lazy and useless when I have wasted my time in my room on the internet or watching television.

Thanks for reading,
Peter

[Snoodlester]

I know what mean Peter, I'm the same. Since my breakdown I've been staying with my parents. I was made redundant and now I can't face going home and getting another job. I have good days and bad days and it's the bad days that make me realise I'm not ready to go back to work. But my lack of routine and facing each day pretty much the same as the day before really isn't helping - just seems to be filled with eating when I can face it, tv and bed with the help of sleeping tablets. It's boring and really deflating but I don't know how to get out of this rut when I'm feeling bad

[Annie0904]

From my own personal experience I think that a routine helps a lot with recovery. I make myself get up, showered and dressed as soon as I wake up and then I make my breakfast. Peter how about setting yourself a goal in the morning to get up and make your Mum a cup of tea? As a Mum myself I would love that . Help out with the house work or gardening. You must keep yourself active otherwise you will become more depressed. I know it isn't always easy when you are feeling so anxious to get up and do the things but getting into a routine will help a lot.

[meche]

I totally agree with Annie. I don't mean this to sound harsh but you need to get a grip on it now before you get to a point of no return. No matter how tired or lazy you feel you need a fixed routine no matter how basic it might be. Do you have hobbies? What do you enjoy doing? What are you interested in? Finding ways to fill your time and keep busy will build your confidence and the rest will slowly fall into place. Can I also suggest getting a proper alarm clock which isn't a mobile phone, setting it for a certain time but placing it at the other end of the room so you are forced to get out of bed.... and stay out of bed ! xx

[bernie1977]

Know exactly what you mean Peter. Since I lost my job because if my illness I've had no routine. It's hard to have one when you suffer from anxiety and depression and all the things that go with it - insomnia, fatigue and sleeping too long, lack of motivation etc.
After many years of not having a routine, especially on a morning I am working at getting one with my CPN as I'm sure it will help. I'm sure lack of routine makes our condition worse.

Maybe you could sit down and write a schedule for tomorrow and do this every evening for the next day. Do a bare minimal list and add bonus tasks to try and get the incentive to do more.

Wishing you well

[Spot-the-frog]

I think having a routine would definitely help. The thought of having a routine though probably fills you with dread. I have what I call a 'sort of' routine, one that is flexible. I have a cup of tea in bed, write my diary, maybe read for 20 minutes, check my phone - so in other words I don't turn over and go back to sleep. I then get dressed into my exercise clothes and do 20-30 mins of some sort of exercise, wii fit, zumba dvd, exercise bike, walk. Then I get showered and dressed. Once I am up I will do 'small' jobs which once I get going usually turn into bigger jobs. I make time to walk and get the paper/mag and read it, do the crossword, go on my laptop, maybe potter in the garden, tidy a drawer or a cupboard. I suppose I balance my days with things that need doing and things I like doing....... Oh and don't forget to factor breakfast and lunch and tea breaks in!!!!

[NE21 worrier]

Well, in the end, I've had a better day today once I got up and dressed.

Even though the weather here was horrid, I drove into town straight after my post for my pre-arranged appointment with the RightCoreCare counsellor at 1pm. The meeting was pretty introductory but we discussed how my anxiety/panic seems to relate to a lack of self-confidence and self-worth, and how I should be looking to improve this. Overall, I was glad just to be back in therapy and able to discuss some of the areas of my life which are not satisfactory to me.

After the meeting, I drove from Newcastle to Bensham in Gateshead and finally got round to handing in my notes to the local Mind charity. Then, I drove back over where I live and had a haircut - I look a lot smarter with shorter hair!

I've sent another message to the bestman about the stag do and will ring tomorrow if I still do not have a reply. In the meantime, tonight, I'm heading back into town to meet friends for a pub quiz. Hope we win!

[Annie0904]

Sounds like good progress today Peter
I think this may be helpful to you http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/reso...cfm?Info_ID=47

[Edie]

Sounds like you've had a productive day!

I think you might be on to something with the lack of routine. It's quite common to feel down in the mornings, which can make finding the motivation to get out of bed a bit of a problem! It might help to put your alarm clock across the room so you have to get out of bed to turn it off.