My Diazepam withdrawal Diary

[clio51]

sounds a good plan with the diazepam ! i can understand you wanting to get it over and done with quickly but remember the quicker the sooner the SE no restbite.

as regards sleep, if you cant sleep tonight then if you must try only having a nap tomorrow and not a sleep for a few hours that way you will be still tired at bedtime and your body clock wont be all over the place.,

tomorrow is another day, you might feel like going down tomorrow or in the garden.

thats very good of your dad and girlfriend to do that for you,because as you said there not young. so perhaps in return if your upto it you could make them there tea for when they get home?

[dally]

Although you felt you failed because you didn't attend the BBQ. Just remember how positive your mind and body acted that day.
You haven't been out of bed or even contemplated that in quite a while
So EVEN thinking about going was a major step forward!!!

Your body will become weak lying in bed.
Make sure you eat as much as you can to keep your strength up
Little and often.
And
Try to do a little excercise 4 x per day
Even lying in bed. Ie. air cycling your legs and arms.
It will help when you next want to go somewhere
AND YOU WILL want to go somewhere!!
Regards xx

[steveo]

Thanks for all the replies everyone.

Made my next cut today as I have liquid diazepam now. This morning, instead of taking 1mg and 1mg in the evening, I took approx 0.75mg. A nice small cut SHOULD in theory be easier to handle. I will try one of these small cuts each week to still stick with the 0.5mg cut every fortnight.

The liquid diazepam tastes AWFUL! A mix between jagermeister and cough syrup. It makes my tongue rather numb too.

So as per normal, this dosage cut won't hit me for 48 hours so that will be Sunday night. I'm home alone Sunday as my dad is going to up Cardiff for me to get all my stuff. On fathers day too!!!

My dads laptop broke today. It was my old laptop. He can't afford a computer or laptop. So as a treat, I took out the last remaining scraps of my savings and bought him a tablet computer and leather case for it. Should arrive early next week. Most expensive gift I've ever given him or anyone I think!! I just wish I could give him more for all the things he's done for me.

Thanks for the exercise plans!! That's a really good idea and I will try to do little bits here and there so I'm not just sat in bed all day.

Symptoms to report - Been very very fatigued! Probably to do with the trouble I have getting to sleep, and then not having proper sleep cycles. It's just dreams. I guess the depression and the doing nothing all day is adding to that tiredness. Anxiety is fairly manageable but that's because I've just been in my room. Yesterday I went downstairs and I started to panic a bit because my DP/DR got a bit too much. That's still a constant problem too!! Wish I could shake that off and be a bit more connected with the world around me!!

I am eating plenty so that's not a worry. Probably too much seeming as I'm barely burning a single calorie!

Hopefully this diazepam cut won't be as bad as the last, although it's technically going to be around the same percentage of a cut so only time will tell. I'm going to try and savour how I felt today and remember that however bad this cut gets, I will be OK again.

Not long now until my stupid brain realises it's a few MGs short of diazepam!

Just remembered.... the withdraw symptoms best not bother me tomorrow as I have to drive my dad a mile away to pick up the hire van!!! EEEKK! Just remembered that..... ARGH!

Hope everyone here is OK

Steven x

[clio51]

Good to hear how it's going.

Most meds taste horrible like when you can't swallow them and you get that taste agh!
So can imagine the liquid taste foul, have some chewing gum at hand lol.

Lovely thing to do for you dad, is it a surprise or does he know? You don't have to buy him thing though to show him you appreciate what he's Don for you over the years and especially now your poorly. Because as we all know it's not easy living with somebody with anxiety/depression.

Just an idea, can your dad not drive his car to the place to pick the an up,leave his car there till he stopwatch van back off. That way you won't have it on your mind all night hope I'm ok
etc. It's a shame you've done your cut now because it's a big day Sunday and you could do without all the hassle,even to the point of finding new places for your things.as you have prob accumulated much more now than when you lived at home last time.

Hope this cut goes smoother for you, write in your dairy how you feel before so you remember you will get there again. It's great your eating well.

Take care xx

[steveo]

It's not far down the road to drive him. He knows what I'm like outside the house. I'm literally just going to drive there as fast (but as safely) as possible and kick him out the car and 180degrees back home. It's really not far, maybe 2 miles max.

My dad doesn't know about the tablet PC I bought him. I bet he will be happy with it. He won't be back Sunday either. It will be late Monday that he'll be back. I'm going to have to help him unload the van and put all the stuff in the house. Then I have most of next week to sort it all out and find room for it so I REALLY hope my diazepam cut doesn't cause me any problems.

So far, although it was only yesterday, I'm not feeling too bad. This is common though. From my past experience, I normally feel OK for the first 2 days, probably because my body is thanking me for not giving it a medication that makes me so sleepy. Then when the 2 days have past, my brain realises I'm lacking the diazepam and takes a few more days then to compensate. Hopefully with the small drops, it doesn't have to compensate so much.

Steven x

---------- Post added at 16:30 ---------- Previous post was at 16:06 ----------

Just drove my dad down. Wasn't bad at all although I felt MUCH better on the way back than I did on the way there!

[clio51]

Hey that's great, sometimes we just have to say right im doing it(well I do,doesnt always work)

Awh thats will be a nice surprise for him! I have a kindle fire hd which is great cause I can go on internet etc and also download free books. its feels really different when i'm on the laptop though because it doesnt correct the punctuation, spelling, pretext etc its all there in memory on kindle me being lazy really!

[steveo]

Just written out my weekly schedule for my diazepam. I should be completely off at the start of August (ALL GOING WELL!).

Liquid diazepam is so easy to manage to dose up! There is no possible way to get a 0.25mg of a 2mg tablet!!

I was sort of hoping that the lower the dose I get, the easier it will get but apparently the last few doses are the hardest. Daaaayum.

I'll just keep watching this over and over again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1g1MK...QXOLg&index=14

[nicola1980]

Hi Steve, how's it going? X x

[Magic]

Steveo, I have just watched the video, and I thought it very good, it bought a tear to my eye. I hope you are doing well with the dosage.
I have a friend who is doing the same as you, she says she feels a bit disorientated.
but she is determined to cope.
Take care Steveo xx

[clio51]

Hi Steven,

Just wondering how things are going for you?

X