Newbie female Heath anxiety, especially Heart Attack and Stroke

[Female healthanxiety]

Hi there,

Am new to this site, found it through a Google search when I typed in health anxiety for some reassurance and came across this website, glad I did :-)

A bit about me:-

I am female, 30 years of age and have a normal working class life, am sure like most people here.

I have suffered with more like anxiety symptoms rather than actual panic attacks themselves (personally I feel which is worse for me) I remember my 1st panic attack, again like most of you.

I have a tendency to think I'm going to have or will soon have:-

A) heart attack
B) stroke
C) brain tumour or similar
D) high blood pressure

My DR knows me very well, well between the ages of 18-25, where I was asking for numerous tests, I have had in the past:-

MRI scan on my head
Various X-rays
Endless ECGS
24 Heart monitor
Heart rhythm test
Stress test
Endless blood tests

I really try and think back to what could have caused an anxiety such as health anxiety, and I can't think of anything that could have triggered it, maybe seeing my 2 grandparents for in the same year who I was very close with when I was 12 (nan died of long cancer at 59, she did smoke a lot and grandad died at 56 from asbestos poisoning, shocking because he had a black belt in karate, did not smoke not drink, and was very fit indeed. I think it shook me up at the time as they went very quickly within the year.....

My dad was violent to my mum (was great with me) and me and my mother ended up fleeing from him at the tender age of 8. My mums always been there for me and is extremely strong and such an independent women who I look up too.

I don't know why on earth I would develop such a phobia about heart attacks, strokes, blood pressure as my choice of illnesses.
I continuously take note if people talk about someone who has had one, or if I found out someone has died from one it just adds to my belief.

My other grandad who is alive (mothers dad) suffers with cardiovascular disease and has high blood pressure, he is 80 years of age and looks good for it, so am convinced that that will be me, other things that run on my family are diabetes (well 2 of my uncles have this) and of course of I wee a lot I think maybe I have this illness now - great.

I would always seem to go the the DRs who has known me quite well (especially between the ages of 18-24), and would have a fear and be convinced I will have high blood pressure and would make a mental note of my 2 number readings so I could go home and google all about high blood pressure, my DR says its normal but I know it's not, he tells me that mine is always a little elevated but that's normal for someone with general anxiety, I say surely I will get high BP AS you do treat my grandad and know about this ailments, he says no there is nothing wrong with your heart, and your BP is fine co pared to all your other previous readings, I so my pulse is beating fast, about 130 and he reassures me that it's nothing to worry about, of course I am very clued up on health to know that the normal range should not exceed 100bpm and am not convinced!

I continue to ask my DR things like pins and needles is not normal, why would I experience them, is this not a sign of a stroke/heart attack, my left a always feels tight like I have a arm band around it, this can't be good surely is t this what happens when u have a heart attack, or maybe it's my blood pressure not being able to cope? Surely this is not normal? I ask him why I'm always tired, I go sleep tired and wake up tired, this can't be right is it my body going into pre illness or is something wrong and I am going to kill over for the fact of me having no energy?, why do I always feel dizzy, surely this is blood pressure related? Why do I always get a numb feeling on either side of my head and it feels like its sloping to one side (that of a stroke) why else would it be I ask???! I sometimes look in the mirror and am convinced my face shape is dropping :-(

I was fine and have been for the last 4 years and could easily reassure my friends etc who had panic attacks or would say they think they have something.... I would tell them to stop bring silly and reassure them so much that I would help them (I'm a great therapist but not to myself)

So back to I was fine 4 years ago:-

I planned a holiday with me and a girlfriend to go to Egypy, and of course on one hand was so excited about getting in the sun and enjoying myself, but a few days before going I picked up every fear in the book, become scared of flying, would think irrational thoughts in my head similar to claustrophobia, thinking I would be home sick, thinking what if what if what if.

It was the day before my holiday and I was exceptionally busy at work due to me trying to get everything possible done due toy absence, on the way to work I experienced really bad chest pains, as I someone was stabbing me and sitting on my chest I then went on to have a heavy/numbness feeling into left arm and hands, which did not go away. I rushed myself into A&E with my symptoms and we thinking I know they are thinking I'm having a heart attack\stroke - see I have been right all of these years!!! I had 3 Ecgs and of course after the 1st one I was convinced there was something wrong - why 3????! I was discharged 2 days after and missed my holiday :-( - I remember thinking NO my anxiety is not back no way!!!!

A year later planned another trip with my same friend, managed to make it there, and got very bad sun stroke for the 1st time in my life on the 3rd day! Was ill in bed and searched sunstroke: 'death' 'very dangerous' 'convulsion' it was horror for 4 days then took an early flight home telling people back home that there was a storm coming so we had to leave early :-/.
Got back home and had a very bad numbness in my head was convinced the sun had managed to skull my brain so went to the DRs and demanded a CT SCAN came back normal.

I now have a phobia about holidays, one part of me really wants to enjoy them but the other part of me ruins it all :-(

I also said to my DR I am scared to exercise (one of the things I want to do in order to even think about a future holiday) no doubt I will google the nearest hospital, as I do! I feel like of I exercise I will faint or collapse from my heart beating so fast, get cramp and pins and needles and chest pains etc etc etc.

I cannot believe this is back.

I am today sitting in the sun (which I the only thing that makes me feel happy at the moment and soothes me so much) with my left a feeling so different to the right, sometimes feel scare to move just in case '-anything happens'.
Went to a party last night and had too many Vinos and feely symptoms are really bad today, surely this is not anxiety alone?!

Wow I know this is long and thank you so much for taking the time to read, of course PMs are welcome.

[fruity]

we all doubt but it is anxiety

[CharlieM]

Hi, and firstly welcome to this great site.

I can relate and empathise with your story. I had an episode just like you describe just over 8 months ago. Tight chest, pain, pressure, tingling and numb left arm. I too was rushed to A&E convinced I was having a heart attack. But I wasn't and the tests all said my heart was ok. After further visits and a stress ECG, I managed to convince myself that my heart was fine and accepted that I must have had a panic attack.

This thinking got me through the next few months with just the odd attack and some bad days of butterflies.

But now, my left arm, armpit, and side of my chest feels wrong everyday. I am back to obsessing about my heart again. Nothing I do removes the discomfort, so here I am living with constant anxiety every day. It is exhausting, and sadly I am drinking a bit too much to try and get through.

I am going to try and have a couple of days off the drink as it only offers short term relief. The next morning I always feel worse!!!

Hope you are enjoying the sun and feeling calmer.

Charlie

[Freaked]

Hi, just to tell you that over the past few months I have had all of these symps and more and docs didn't find anything wrong. Like you I have the fast heart rate, and I'm relatively certain I have a thing called postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. Waiting for an appointment for tests to diagnose it. You mentioned exercise intolerance, so it's something I'd look into. You'd be the right age and gender. It's apparently not life threatening, but it certainly feels pretty bad at times; it can even cause fainting. Also, heat and alcohol make pots worse.

A good test is to take your pulse lying down, and then stand up straight for 5-10 minutes and take it again. If it's increased by more than 30bpm and is over 100, then pots is a possible diagnosis.

But if not, then anxiety can cause everything you've mentioned as well afaik. It the 'test' is positive, try the forums at dinet.org for more info and talk to your doc about getting the proper test, though many general docs don't know about pots.

[Bagrat]

Like you I get a lot of heart type symptoms. Started when my husband had a heart attack 8 years ago. They come and go and feel really scary some days. I do have a mild heart condition and all my tests were normal two and a half years ago. All my present symptoms can be anxiety and I'm nearly sure they are as they go away for weeks sometimes and I reckon if they were serious I'd be in hospital by now.!!
Lots of help and support on here. I haven't been on for a long time as have been feeling good and selfishly wanted to ignore my anxiety for a bit.
I'm trying meditation which seems to help but I'm so easily distracted.
Take care

[Female healthanxiety]

Hello all,

Please accept my apologies for not replying, I opted in for notifications whenever I received any replies and I never had any! I was thinking only yesterday maybe my post was too long!

Am so glad I found this website and am surprised I never, as a popular fan of google searches myself, maybe they should highlight this site when people type In Symptoms!

Charlie M- thank you very much for the welcome and for replying. It's interesting you say that you get the same reocurring pains (just like me) if its any help my ex counsellor said to me that our left side is much more sensitive then the right, and that once you have an obsession with a certain part of your body, your body will become sensitive to anything related. Some days I wish it was my leg or another body part!!! I understand what it's like to drink! I always have a bottle of wine a night, not so much for the anxiety itself but more of a coping mechanism- have you thought about doing something else in the evening? A course or a meditating class? And also limiting how much drink you buy, for instance I try and look for half a bottle of wine and know that I cannot buy more by the time I've drunk it! Little steps!

Hello Freaked - thank you for your reply, it's horrible isn't it? I have just come off the famous Google to look up POTS and its definitely something I new to discuss with my DR (I am sure he will be amused!) thank you for that x

Thanks Bagrat - I am sure you are more anxious due to the fact you've known someone so close that has had a heart attack - sorry to hear this and I hope he is making a speedy recovery, like yourself I am convinced that I will have one as well, either that or a stroke!

I too used to meditate, but lately I felt so anxious I find it really hard to just relax!