Feeling like a mental patient?

[ElizabethJane]

Hi all I'm sorry about the title but that is how I feel at the moment. I am feeling a whole lot better after my latest blip. I just wonder how much longer this will go on for? I think that I came to the realisation a long time a go that in order to manage my illness/long term I would be taking meds for life. I don't know how they are going to affect my long term health? I am on lithium and mirtazapine. I have also heard today that my niece has lost her children back to her ex husband. In effect she has lost the custody battle and the Court has deemed her an unfit Mother and unstable because she has mental health problems.There is much more to it than than that. I just can't imagine how this young woman must be feeling. I know it would send me to the brink of a break down. A few years ago my mental health was very unstable and my son was quite young. An admission to hospital was on the cards.my husband could have said that I was an unfit Mother because of my instability. Fortunately my son is now much older and I have plenty of support but you can see how these situations develop. If you have a social worker then they might put together whole pack of lies against you. This is what I feel has happpened in my nieces case. She has the support of her family but aparantly that has not been enough against his solicitor and the social worker. EJ

[onceagain]

What a sad story .... kind thoughts sent

[AuntieMoosie]

Aww EJ this is always so sad to hear

I've suffered from depression and anxiety since I had post natal depression following the birth of my Daughter way back in 1984.

I must have been very fortunate because those that were helping me were very supportive, but then, I did have a husband as well.

I know that one time when I was in the mental health unit there was a young Mum in there and she was going through hell trying to battle with her ex husband and the social workers, she kept getting the "unfit Mother" thrown at her too.

I think it's quite unfair really. As I've said I suffered for years, and yes sometimes it was really hard, but I'd never class myself as an "unfit Mother"


But then, if we look at it from the Social Workers point of view..........well these days they're dammed if they do.......and they're dammed if they don't, and I personally think that now they are soo frightened of making a mistake that they tend to go in with knee jerk reactions

I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad EJ, it's a rotten place to be.

I'm too, going to be on my medication for life and like you, I do wonder exactly what they're doing to us, if indeed they're doing anything??

Just be really kind to yourself hun, let yourself rest as much as you can and try your hardest to keep your stress levels to a minimum.

Sending you hugs hun

[ElizabethJane]

Thanks Auntie and Onceagain. It seems that it doesn't take a lot for you to lose your children. It seems very cruel to take two young children away from their Mother back to an alleged abuser. I don't know what I can do to bring them back as they will probably be lost to extended family too? Thank you. I know I am a long way from losing my son but it could so easily happen if you have had mental health problems. EJ

[ladybug51]

For you EJ (from a mother who lost her daughter)

[Stormsky]

Sorry to hear about your niece.
I believe meds do cause long term damage.. I was on meds 11 yrs, and the one I took can apparently cause permanant damage to central nervous system... I stooped them 2 yrs ago..wouldn't take meds again..
But that's just me, I know some people need them, my father is on them for life.

[AuntieMoosie]

EJ I'm sure you'll never loose your little boy hun. It's a horrible myth that suffering from mental health issues makes you a bad parent, it doesn't at all in most cases

Having been brought up in care myself from the age of just 3, I know the damage and effects it has on a child's life.

Now while I completely understand and agree that there are some children who need to be removed from their parents, which I would think we all agree with, my biggest wish would be for the social workers to spend more time working with families and doing every thing that they possibly can do to prevent the break-up of a family.

Sadly, it seems to me that there just isn't enough preventative work being done, though I do understand that there is a dreadful lack of resources for that type of work, social workers have to priorities so obviously most of their work has to be aimed at children's safety and well being

I really don't find it cost effective though, it costs a hell of a lot of money to have children in care, let alone the psychological damage it's likely to do too, which, in turn, will cost a lot more money to put right.

Surely it's much better to prevent this from having to happen wherever it's possible?? and I would like to see the government pumping in a lot more money to enable social workers to be able to carry out more preventative work, I know, from speaking to social workers, that they would love to be able to do this, but they just haven't got the resources.

Anyway hugs being sent to you and ladybug

[britopian]

It will get better...

[Tessar]

Hey EJ, I'm sorry to hear what has been happening with your little niece, it must be a very stressful time for you, and for your family. I agree with Moosie that not enough preventative work is done. Also whilst it is understandable for you to fear the same thing happening with you and your son, from the things you say here..... I firmly believe that whilst you may have mental health issues of your own, you have these under control and you are a responsible parent. I agree as well that just because a parent has mental health issues doesn't suddenly make them a bad parent at all. Like anyone in life, we all go through different phases. Sometimes people just have life issues that might make them distracted as a parent. No-one sits there and judges them, so why should anyone judge a parent with mental health issues?, especially if they are taking measures to look after themselves?
Well, if they were a balanced person who understands how mental health issues work and how they can be contended with, then they'd see that in truth, the balance of your mind (what ever is affecting it) does not make you a bad parent if you manage your issues ok.

Big hugs to you.