"Kill me" keeps running through my head (HA related)

[Orange Lightning]

LPR.

3 little letters that will be the death of me. It's short for Laryngopharyngeal Reflux, or "90% guaranteed cancer" as far as research is concerned. There's nothing else I could possibly have but this disease. ALL of my symptoms match it; trying to fix my anxiety doesn't work on it, medication doesn't help, lifestyle/diet changes do nothing. Even water triggers it. The only thing that makes me feel better in the slightest is not eating at all. It's living hell, and I just want it to stop. I get:

- A feeling of gas and liquid moving up my throat
- Tonnes of throat mucus always stuck there, making me clear my throat all the time.
- Constant burping; even if I "block" the burps the liquid comes up anyway.
- "Hunger" feelings even immediate after eating.
- A burning throat sensation sometimes accompanied by a lump, but only if I drink too much. Again, even alkaline water triggers this.

All of these symptoms check out as LPR; even people on this forum agree, one little search confirmed this for me. Consulting Google proved anxiety can NOT caused LPR; it must be an anatomical cause or to do with vitamin levels. Yet I'm on a heavy multivitamin so in theory I should be getting enough vitamins with my diet. So I took a rapid spit test and it confirmed my fears. Pepsin - THE enzyme known for causing throat cancer above all others - is in my throat, and nothing will ever get rid of it. It's binded there now.

I've tried the following to fix myself, for 8 months in total:

- PPIs such as Omeprazole and Lansoprazole. No effect.
- Other meds such as Ranitidine, Gaviscon Advance (max dose), Forceval and Setraline. No effect.
- Lifestyle and diet changes including following the Dr Kouffman LPR diet. No effect.
- Methods to treat my supposed anxiety including councilling, CBT, hypnotherapy and new hobbies/work. No effect.

I can't chase this up any further with my GP. She doesn't know about LPR and doesn't believe in it when I tell her about it. I can't prove I have LPR. My friends are sick of me talking about it, my family hates me for it and my life is in utter ruin. I worry and fret about everything I eat and drink, and all attempts at trying to reassure myself result in another person saying "it's LPR and it has no cure." Not even surgery works on it.

Well, I think there is a cure, but it's not as easy to carry out as it seems. All diseases seek to end life right? So this disease can have mine as far as I'm concerned. It's taken away everything I know and love, and all my efforts to stop it have been in vain. I'm as good as dead, and I can't live a possible 60 more years like this, I'm only 22 for God's sake!! Someone just end me so that I don't suffer any longer..........................

[nomorepanic]

Why don't you ask the doctor to refer you to a specialist?

[Pinktel]

Have a look at the countless threads you have posted since the end of last year, I think you will find it helpful to see the pattern of your neuroses and how they are evolving.

You have passed all medical tests and been given the all clear wi the exception of your appendix which obviously needed to come out

You seem in dire need of counselling, psychotherapy or cbt, not more visits to medics who really can do no more to reassure you.

I have commented on several of your posts over the months and each time it feels like you don't absorb what myself or others are trying to say.

Clearly you have a sensitive stomach, I would say this is a massive anxiety symptom. You sound intelligent enough to me to be able to grasp that fact. I have been sitting here right now imagining an acid/heartburn feeling as an experiment to myself.... Guess what... My throat is actually stinging now and I kid you not, I just had some reflux. Now, I NEVER get that as a symptom, it is just not part of my make up, don't think I have had heartburn in any way shape or form for 7 years since my last pregnancy. And I just effectively managed to give it to myself as a little test to see if concentrating on it etc could deliver me those symptoms.

The main most beneficial action you could do next week to help yourself is
1) work as hard as you can do stop all this obsessive self monitoring
2) ask for a referral to a psychologist

---------- Post added at 20:57 ---------- Previous post was at 20:45 ----------

As for your googling telling you that LPR cannot be caused by anxiety, just a cursory glance at a few specialist ENT centre websites will tell you the one of the main treatments is STRESS reduction.

Am i right in thinking you mentioned an endoscopy? If there was no apparent damage to your throat or valves... Why would you still think there was a problem? If the mechanics of your digestive system are all in order (as would be shown with an endoscopy) how do you have this disease?

[PanchoGoz]

Question - are your symptoms giving you discomfort that is affecting your daily life (without any anxiety involved)?
That is, restricting intake of oxygen, pain, restricting eating or swallowing.
I use the above to decide whether to seek a diagnoses

I have seen countless people say that they are sure they have an illness and have all the symptoms, seems like they have the illness. Except, the symptoms don't get worse and turns out they don't have it.
The body is incredible, it reacts to subtle change in the mind. Look at appetite, changes in the gut etc. Also crying, sweating. What if you focussed every atom of your mind on your throat, every day, for months. Surely it will shrivel in the spotlight? What is someone was watching you every day for a long period of time, you would have a nervous breakdown.

Test - do every single thing you can to turn off your adrenaline and turn off your focus on the symptoms. Relaxation exercises every day, your mind must be occupied ALL the time, when you go to bed you must be tired and fall asleep quickly. Treat this entirely as anxiety, eve if you feel it is a pretence, I'm sure you will not get any worse in two weeks if you try this out? What have you to lose?
The point is this - if you take all your focus off the symptoms and totally reduce your anxiety levels, I believe your body's reactions to these symptoms, caused by constant attenion, will go. But you must completely stop thinking about it, and forget it.
Your mind is great - it's a fixer, want's to mend everything, but that's causing you lots of problems. Let it rest a while and see if things improve?

If things don't improve, see a specialist. I'm no expert on these conditions but I think your belief can do more wanders than any therapy.

[Pinktel]

Final tip from me ...

Pepsin is denatured at a higher pH over say 8 so if you really have a fear that pepsin has bound itself to your throat lining then research into some alkaline waters or foods of pH over 8.