Not dealing with my dad passing away :(

[illgetthere]

I just needed to get this out I'm not having a very good day at all as soon as my dads belongings are mentioned I fall to a million pieces I feel that once he's things have gone and he's gone it will all be forgotten my partner is not helping he dont understand at all he was supportive on the day of the funeral and that's that as always I've hot terrible chest pains with acid reflux I feel like I'm putting my body under so much stress I can't stop it I've done nothing but cry alday today I have a bad head feel so sad it's just jow I feel so so sad x

[Stormsky]

I'm sorry to hear of your dad..
Can you not have a few of his possessions to keep?
Totally understandable to be sad.. You will feel physical symptoms of distress, it's natural..

[illgetthere]

I could have what ever I want but the thing is I don't want his things touched or moved I think it should all be left as he left it :,( x

[Stormsky]

That's normal to feel that way, but it may not be practical to leave them? Or may be causing upset to others seeing it as it was?

[Invisibletouch]

Its completely normal that you are feeling this way. You want his things to be left the way they were, because you know that was the last time he touched them. I felt the same way. Its very very early days yet, and there is no set time to do these things. Maybe at a later date you may feel you want to sort his things out, but dont put pressure on yourself to do anything at the moment.
We have kept lots of things of my Dads, but the cardigan that my Dad wore and also one of his coats, are the things that mean the most to me.
I really do understand how you feel.
Thinking of you. xx

[fruity]

your dad would not want you to keep crying. stop for a minute and thimk. honestly. i know you don,t want anything touched/moved but it would be best to get rid of them so and your family can move a little forward. it,s hard i know i lost my dad last year in march. but i,ve moved on because thinking of my dad i know he,d want me too. we will all meet again in gods garden. and you have that to look forward too but whilst your hear on earth try and live each moment happy,smile,laugh and if you hurt anytime just think about your dad cry if you want but please try and move forward. your dad is at rest now.he,s in a better place than us. let him be let it be and you,ll see you can overcome it ok. im only 28 and to be honest the stuff thats gone down with me is just bad for my age and it all started at 21. post me anytime and i,ll reply as soon as possible

[MargaretHale]

So sorry about your dad honey. My dad died when I was 25. I felt like you do now and my sisters went in and cleared his house.

You have your memories and you carry his love with you in your heart for always, everything else is just things.

As a dad, he'd just want his child to be happy. I'm a mum now and that's all I want for my boys.

I know it's hard, pick a few things-the things that make you smile or remind you of a happy day.

xx

[illgetthere]

I feel I've dealt with it ok so far but this I can not deal with at all I can't bring myself to touch it :( x

[Granny Primark]

My mum died in March 1984. She must have been cold cus she put on a cardigan to sleep in. When I was told shed died suddenly I went straight round. She was lying in bed dead with the cardigan on.
That cardigan is my most treasured possesion. Its in my wardrobe. This might sound stupid but if im stressed I go to it and kiss it and say a few words to my mum.
I hope you find comfort in doing something simialar.
Big hugs for you. xx

[Edie]

I'm sorry you're finding this so hard and not getting the support you need from your partner. I can understand why you feel this way about your father's possessions, but sadly it's something you will have to face at some point. You can keep things that are special to you. If you're in any doubt, you should keep the item. That way, you can change your mind later. I would suggest addressing one area at a time. Perhaps something least personal will feel more achievable to start with.

Do you have a friend who might help? Sometimes it's easier if someone else carries out the act of disposing of items. We have a local charity which gives furniture to homeless people setting up home, which took most of my brother's furniture. Maybe knowing it's going to a worthy cause will make it easier to let items go.

I know it's really, really hard, but I think the only way to face this difficult task is head on. Once you start, it will get easier. And you can keep the special items.