Hi,
At 43 I have had a variety of jobs. If I am being totally honest, I never last at them. I start out strong and try so so hard, but my nerves and anxiety get to me. I either leave or get into big trouble for some misstake, panic and go off sick and don't come back.
I often wonder if I am the stupidest person on earth unable to hold down a job!!
A year ago I left my job as a secretary and went to journalism school. I did REALLY well. Almost all As and glowing recommendations from instructors. I did an internship at our public broadcaster and did really well. THEN they hired me. Since I started I have been in no end of trouble. ONe of the stories I had on the air was so bad they called me at home to tell me.
The producer is constantly frustrated with me and my work. Part of me thinks I haven't been there very long. All together maybe 30 days and that I am learning, but it is getting to the point that I think they may fire me and I wouldn't blame them. I am slow and nervous and go brain dead.
I asked my producer to repeat something and she said 'GOD, it is common sense!".
I think it is my nerves. I get so flustered. I feel like such a failure. You can't imagine how bad I feel. WE need me to work very badly for the money. My family keeps wondering what is wrong with me, why I fail at everything.
I have three sons and a step son (failed at my first marriage too!) and a wonderful man who loves me...
I guess i am just looking for someone who can relate. I feel so alone.
:(