there must be something wrong

[Big-B]

where do I begin...

I tend to worry about my health even though im fairly healthy, 31 year old male non smoker, no fast food, no caffeine, no starbucks ..i do drink 2-3 beers a night some days not at all, other days i drink heavy (only on football sunday) i drink kefir daily as well as apple cider vinegar drink 2-3 times a day...

I believe i have GERD or at the least acid reflux as well as sinus issues

i feel like any little/minor pain i feel in my body is something worse than it actually is...and somehow i associate every pain to "cancer" and im going to die..i worried so hard a few nights ago i ended up in the ER (again) with chest pains, breathing problems and felt really out of body-ish...all in which i had a chest x-ray ( normal ) and blood work including thyroid because i asked for that specifically ...all normal and all healthy ... yet i dont seem to trust the healthcare system ..they are only human after all ...so i asked for copies of my test results as well as the xray to be sent to my email..2nd opinion says the same..even when i read the blood work next to a cheat sheet of what normal levels should be...it seems i am very normal...yet i dont feel normal..as i type this i feel lightheaded with a slight headache ..and my tightness around my neck and head...my face always feels "tight" and my chest the same also it feels like a lump or something stuck in my throat ... i understand that i have a anxiety disorder about my health yet i cant seem to get passed it...google is evil..everything results in some disease that is potentially life threatening..i overly concern myself with death and my mortality...i have tried telling myself its out of my hands plenty of times..i enjoy life very much so i guess im scared about losing or missing out on the things and people that i love, yet i've been battling this anxiety for several months and cant see it going on anymore...its terrible it really ruins lives...ive gone from highly active to reclusive home body because i feel like people can tell that im not me and theres something wrong , yet they see me as a strong person...so i guess im embarrassed to talk about it...nobody has any clue about how hard this is...ignorance in this case is truly bliss

[Speranza]

Welcome! You will find LOADS of people here who do understand. You've taken an important step, of realising that Google is NOT helpful! Oh - and if you have acid problems, cider vinegar won't be helping.

[Big-B]

actually ACV does help with mine and it works far better and longer than prilosec or nexium etc..thanks for the concern

i forgot to add that i dont trust pharmaceutical companies either..pushing their pills that seem to have little benefits with more side effects in the long run

[Speranza]

Wow! I used to take it a lot and I stopped when I was diagnosed with acid reflux. Thanks for the heads up.

For me, I realised many many years ago that most of my fears, when it boiled down to it, were about something stopping me existing, or being healthy... I think that is the case for many of us. In counselling I explored how having a bad relationship with my Mum as a little girl taught me that the world was not a safe place. I guess, thinking about it, all those fears are a way of boosting that theory so that I feel I have a consistent world view.

Why do you think you need to see the world as so threatening?