Everynight I get on this board and other heath boards..The anxiety has a control over me like no drug could ever.I have been a little obsessed over things in my years..mostly things that were healthy but it seems that my whole life has come to a screeching halt.I sit and read and read and read every night. I hardly leave the house anymore.My wife which normally likes solitude and staying at home wants to go out to dinner...Thats a first.Suppose she is just sick and tired of not talking about anything other than health.I used to be the one that dragged her out of the house and took her places and introduced her to new things..Now I think she is wondering who is it that I married?Her patience is wearing thin and suppose I can't blame her..I am not sure I am the same guy that married her.I used to be fun and carefree and now I can't seem to sit still to watch a movie or it takes everything I can just to watch an hour show even if its captivating..Like discovery or science or whatever.I continually check my pulse and she notices and I worry about my heart not beating properly because i was told I had a slight murmur..nothing to worry about.We were happy till I started hearing my pulse in my ear and murmur and reading everything that it could be on the internet..I have been to a doctor that has basically told me that there was nothing wrong with my heart ..slight murmur sure ,but not the kind you have to worry about.I am obsessed with it and getting a little where I don't like leaving the house..Like that is really going to make a difference if i went anywhere ...I mean to whether I am sick or not..We live in a very small place ..five minutes to the doctors office going that way on the way to town..10 minutes to the hospital and we live in the middle of nowhere although we are only five minutes from town..So it makes sense if I was out I would be safer anyway,but to tell you the truth I have lost taste for food and even being out.I wasn't like this before I started hearing my pulse..I was always wanting to go on the atv or take a ride or go to the store or movie or whatever..and she said lets stay at home and enjoy being here ..its a new house by the way being relocated from new orleans..Now we are swapped by opposite sides..I find it all mundane and can't bring myself to even want to leave the house.Thank God that we have to go get things at the market and do semi normal things or i would probably never leave the house.I just can't phatom what has happened to me.I really don't have an interest in anything anymore...It makes me so sad.I sleep alot ..because its the only freedom from worrying i have.Then I worry that I sleep to much ..I worry that my relationship is falling apart and I love my wife and don't want to lose her but I am not the only thing she has to worry about at the moment..our daughter is going through a serious illness and we live over 2000 miles from her and my wife feels helpless..so she has never been the kind that anyone can cry to..I try not to tell her what I worry about but I am so worried..I didn't know I had a heart murmur and it bothers me I can hear it..The doctor said that I was ok..and stressed out and put me on zoloft which im not sure is starting to work..but set me up with a ent that is suppose to check my ears to see if I have need tubes for the drainage.I feel with everything I am that the doctor was right with her dianosis..but there is that ache of doupt that presses me to not do anything anymore..I feel safest when I am on the bed just checking and reading about symptoms...I don't want to do this anymore.I want my life back so bad..but it seems I cant break this addiction to obsession.My wife doesn't think there is anything wrong with me ,she was there when the doctor told me that everything was fine..She(my wife) is a worrier herself but when she isn't worried then I should know that im fine..I just can't shake it and make myself snap out of it.There was a time when I wasn't afraid of anything and my nerves were made out of steel and nothing bothered me,,but now I feel like a wimp and