Harm OCD & video games

[MrsStobe13]

Hi all.
Just another question after an awful, awful night's sleep. Do video games make harm OCD better or worse? From my experience I'd say worse, but I can't find too much on it on Google.

I was playing the latest Tomb Raider last night and completed it at 73% (which got a high-five from my gamer husband!) but I found it made my Harm OCD absolute hell. i read somewhere online that video games require concentration and can distract from OCD, but I wouldn't say so, I'd say it kept adding more thoughtsto my messed up brain.

I got called away at 6 for dinner and felt the urge to randomly stab my husband with the dinner knife. I was so full of adrenaline that my urges seemed to be 10x worse. I kept telling myself it's just OCD, but the tears were streaming down my face for the best part of 5 hours last night, my poor husband doesn't know what to do with me at times!

Some of the fight scenes were really anxiety-provoking, like blasting enemies with a shotgun and a fight scene in which you use your pickaxe to kill a bad guy. I tried a sudoku puzzle, looking at Cheezburger and having a giggle there but nothing would relieve my anxiety. It was so bad again I thought I would act on my urges.

I'm only taking my 40mg propranolol when the urges seem really bad now. I was merely tearful last night, but when things seem really bad I'll be using them. I was on them all last week and absolutely naff all got done. They help for sure, but there's a heck of a lot to do in my home today!

Has anyone else got any insight? Was it just the wrong kind of video game to be playing? I want to combat my OCD sooner rather than later as we're renewing our vows in 5 years and I can't have it ruin a second ceremony. Im going to really be getting on with some chores and decorating this week so I'm hoping achieving will help combat my thoughts.

Thanks all

MrsS x

[chalky500]

I had harm intrusive thougys for a long time. I know everything feels heightened but that is just adrenaline my friend. My therapist said it's 100% nothing to do with games so its not worth losing something you enjoy. Stay strong.

[Speranza]

I imagine this will be answered differently by everyone. I would go by how you feel. You seem to be saying it has an effect on you - that's really all you need to know, isn't it? You are responsible for your own mental health and therefore you get to decide what is and isn't helpful.
Personally I'm a great fan of Angry Birds. Perhaps a game with a different focus might be more restful?

[MrsStobe13]

Speranza maybe so, it's just quite upsetting as all my life I've loved Tomb Raider and now for some unknown reason it upsets me. I've got a whole load of puzzle type games (including Angry Birds) on my Ipod so I may have to resort to those instead.

MrsS x

[Bonnibelle]

I was watching Lost over the weekend, my son is obsessed with I and my what if jousts hit after seeing alot of violence and murders :( very upsetting so I think I will avoid it for now.

[MrsStobe13]

I've had my "what if's" a lot today, I'm trying to hold together but I feel on the brink of tears and terrified. I'm still no closer to getting the knives back down!

MrsS x

[chalky500]

Look, the best way to help i feel is to share my experience and how I overcame it. I am 15 and on the school bus, I'd get a vivid image of reaching out and snapping the neck of the guy in front. Didn't even know him. Whenever this happened my forearms started to tense up, like they were telling me to do it. It began to feel almost painful. I spoke to my therapist and one of the first concerns i expressed was my complete and total immersion in 'BioShock Infinite,' and i swear to you she simply told me 'that's nothing to do with it' and moved on. With regards to actually doing it... WHY ARE YOU SCARED IF YOU'RE A PSYCHO? ANSWER: YOU AREN'T. I don't personally have OCD, my thoughts stem from Asperger's Syndrome, but I really feel for you and hope you realise that the very fact you're concerned means you're ok.

[NoPoet]

The reson your intrusive thoughts are so powerful is that you're terrified of them. Look at fearsome thoughts as a stick and your subconscious as a puppy. If you chuck the stick away, what does puddy do? Run after it and bring it back, of course, probably splashing through a muddy puddle and treading in some poo as it does, then it jumps up at you with it. Your subconscious is going after the scary thoughts because they seem so important that it thinks you need to have it.

To continue this metaphor to its immature and controversial conclusion, you get home every day covered in muddy pawprints and dog sh*t, and poor old puppy has the stick firmly up its backside where you lodged it in rage. (That's the controversial bit.)

You should never trust an animal with a stick. Look at the Russians in WW2, they trained dogs to drop bombs under German tanks, but unfortunately the dogs were trained with Russian tanks, so as soon as they were unleashed in the heat of battle, Russian tank crews probably had to start bailing out when a hundred alsatians came out of the gun smoke.

[Timo]

Gaming has always increased my ocd.