Hi there - newbie with HA and fear

[JustJules]

Hi all,

I've been dipping in and out of this site for several weeks now and found it to be really helpful in reading posts from fellow sufferers of this horrible, all consuming condition so decided to take the plunge and join.

I'm currently suffering with severe HA (had some form of it all my life). Last bad bout was around 6 years ago but has come back with avengance. Had a few months of stressful events family wise then contracted what they thought was a UTI but turned out that there was no infection, just traces of blood and white cells in urine. Several re-tests later and now I've had to go and see a consultant for further tests. 'Dr Googled' and the only thing that comes up about white cells in urine etc. is either bladder or kidney cancer so I am convinced I am now terminally ill and have got myself in a right state. To say I am terrified is an underestimate...went for an ultrasound yesterday on kidneys and pelvis and am waiting for a cytoscopy. I am convinced now that my phone will ring any minute to ask me to come in to see the doctor to get the 'bad' news...I feel like I'm losing it.

I am on Citalopram daily already and have tried CBT (useless) and am trying hypnotherapy as I don't want to be this person anymore...it's a living hell.

It does help to know that there are other people out there who feel the same from time to time. I feel for us all.

[aggiecuttler]

hello sorry you are finding it tough going at the moment, try not to panic about your tests, we all worry its human nature so you are not alone, i think if you had terminal cancer you would be very ill indeed at this point, so dont worry yourself, it will all be ok blessings

[almamatters]

Hi I have HA and can relate to the feeling of fear when having tests and the constant worry about cancer and terminal illness, when you have HA our minds go into overdrive and make small insignificant symptoms into a deadly illness, try and distract yourself while waiting for your results, I have had white cells and blood several times in my urine and have had ultrasounds on my kidneys, bladder and abdominal area and they have been normal. Please do not worry too much.

[Mnisilochos]

Hi there, I know exactly how you are feeling. I wish you good luck with your results.