The date I waited a week for had finally come. Me and my pal went shopping the morning of the date, I bought some very nice clothes (from topshop) which are now, probably the best clothes I own.

Let's skip to the actual date.

The actual meeting was great, we hugged - I complimented her on her choice of clothes, she looked absolutely stunning. Let's skip forward to the movie, such a great movie - I personally laughed my head off.

Now, the part why I'm here. We finish the movie and head to the restaurant, everything is running smoothly at this point. We get in, finally decide that we're going to eat there and BOOM!

Half way through picking out the dinner (from a buffet), I get this urge to be sick. At this point, I have no idea why I'm thinking this, so I continue as normal. After we pick our choices of food, we sit down and start eating - well, I try to.

After a few bites of food, I felt physically sick, even the thought of chewing on food and swallowing made me want to perish into a thousand pieces. Now, I'm 17 and this whole dating game was beyond my level of play anyway - but what happened next, I never expected it.

I took another piece of food and BOOM! I couldn't eat it, every single chew made me feel sicker and sicker. I got to a point where the only option was to spit it out, I excused myself and went to the bathroom where I spat out the food.

Now, that's not even the worst bit. What happened after was truly the worst. I went to sit back down, all I could do was drink water to try and get the ability to swallow my spit back. The girl realises that I am not eating, and questions me on it. I tell her that I'm having a panic attack, she tries to calm me down.

I've never felt so embarrassed before in my life! I needed to take my mind off the fact I'm having a panic attack and told her I'm going to go for a walk, she said she'll come too. She had stopped eating because I was being a wuss and couldn't control this panic attack.

This is why I'm here, from that day on - I'm motivated to change who I am, to become a better person. To stop this depression and most of all, stop having these panic attacks.

TL;DR - Went on a date, had a panic attack and now I'm here to change my life.

Thanks for reading!