Tailbone pain + blood in stools = I'm terrified

[joeinjapan]

Please, help me, I'm facing my darkest hour I think. Please bear with me, I really need someone to talk me down from the ledge... I'm convinced I have the big C in the colon or rectum. I'm a 41 year old male, 6'1", about 40 pounds overweight and I have a very sedentary job.

Last year, I had a couple of episodes of blood in the toilet bowl and on the tissue paper after straining over some hard stools. The blood seemed fairly fresh and arterial, and went away if I drank a lot of water, upped my fiber intake and didn't starin so much on the toilet. I convinced myself it was just piles or a fissure and didn't go to the doctor because I'm terrified of them and try to avoid them if at all possible. since that time up to June of this year there were a few more instances of this, but always seemed to be a result of straining over a hard stool and not being properly hydrated.

Then in mid June, I had a strange day of too many bowel movements. It wasn't like getting the runs, the stools were actually quite normal at first and a bit loose by the end, as if my body was purging itself of some bug. I had been overeating for days previously, so there was a lot to come out. Again, I repeat it wasn't like having the runs, more like just too much crapping in too short a time period. There was no blood that I remember. It was all over in a day, and I later found out that my daughter had the same symptoms and so I assumed it was just a bug going round.

However, around this time I gradually noticed I was getting discomfort in my tailbone area after sitting. At first I put this down to being overweight and stitting with bad posture for too long at work and at home and on the train to and from work. I tried sitting down a lot less and changing my diet to lose weight and exercise more, thinking it would pass in a few days. But it didn't. The pain seems to abate when walking, jogging or going to bed, down to about a 5-10% level (but I can still tell something is niggling). It's worse after sitting for any length of time. I bought a coccyx cushion for work but I don't think it'S really helping much.

Then in early July, I had a couple more cases of blood in the toilet and on the paper. At first I thought this was just because I had been drinking too much coffee, not enough water and eating badly late at night. But then I thought "blood in stools + tailbone discomfort" could be something nasty, so I googled those symptoms and found lots of horror stories! I immediately went to a GI expert and she took some blood samples (which I still haven't heard anything about) and did a rectal exam, said she could feel a middle size hemarrhoid but that I should have a colonoscopy. Because I had holiday plans with my family (I'm married with 3 kids) I couldn't take the first date she offered, so we decided on the 20th. But I wimped out of it and cancelled it the day before after reading some horror stories on the net about people who had their bowels perforated during colonoscopies. I tried to convince myself that I was alright and didn't need one. I know, stupid, stupid, stoopid.

However, the coccyx pain isn't going away, it's been bothering me for 6 weeks or more now, and although I've had no more bloody stools for a few weeks, I'm sure my stools are narrower than before and have tiny black flecks in them, though this maybe because I've switched to a vegan diet and am eating less, so there is less "bulk". I've re-booked the dreaded colonoscopy for this Saturday (I won't wimp out this time, come what may), and yesterday I went to an orthopedic doc to look at my tailbone. He was fairly useless, didn't even exam me physically, just took a couple of x-rays which were inconclusive of any trauma to the tailbone and sent me on my way with some painkillers and advice to sit properly. Gee, thanks doc....

So I'm on a countdown to saturday's colonoscopy, still having weird tailbone aches and twinges and dreading every bowel movement lest I see blood. I'm obsessed that I've got a tumor somewhere in the rectum or sigmoid colon that caused the bleeding episodes since last year and is now affecting my tailbone because it has grown. Please offer me some words of comfort, I feel alone and terrified, I have 3 kids ages 14, 9 and 8 and I can't stand the thought of not being around to see them grow up...

[justice38]

I know this is tough to go through. Please go have the tests done to put your mind at ease. There are a lot of people on here that are going through the same thing. The mind is so powerful it can create horrible symptoms.

I have been there and it sucks to go through

[joeinjapan]

Thanks Justice, I know I've brought these problems on myself by following a bad diet and lifestyle the last few years and not going to the doc's last year when the first symptoms appeared.

Having wimped out once on a colonoscopy I am DETERMINED I will do it this Saturday, whatever the consequences... Being a bit of a history buff, I'm drawing some courage by thinking about all those brave young men who faced their fears in world wars 1 and 2 and had to storm trenches, beaches, fly airplanes, sail ships etc. knowing full well many of them would die in the process. If I can muster up one tenth the courage they showed I'll be grateful.

I guess we all must face our own moments of truth, stare the deep, dark abyss in the face and take that leap...

[Lilharry]

I'm sure you will be fine. I had blood in my stool for 6 years before finally having a colonoscopy. They removed 2 polyps, that were causing the blood and both were non-cancerous. Your doctor has already felt a hemarhoid that is probably causing the blood. I was terrified and convinced I the big C too - I had all sorts of pain and digestion problems. But I don't have it and it's more than likely that you won't either. Keep telling yourself that you will get through this just fine.

And please do go through with the colonoscopy this time. YOu won't regret it and you will feel great after knowing that you are okay and can stop worrying.

Oh, and re them botching it - won't happen. I mean you're a hundred time more likely to get run over by a car crossing the road.

[joeinjapan]

Lilharry, thanks. May I ask what kind of bloody stools you had and if there were any other symptoms? Were you also terrified of the colonoscopy procedure itself? The occassional blood episode hasn't got me as freaked out as the aching in the tailbone/upper rectum region. I just hope I'm putting 2 and 2 together and making 5...

[Lilharry]

It was fresh blood on the outside of the stool and on the toilet paper. I had a million different symptoms - pain, not digesting food properly, severe fatigue, achy lower back - I could go on! I was absolutely convinced it was cancer.

I was more terrified of the sedative than the actual procedure. I actually had to have it done twice, second time under anaesthetic, because they couldn't complete it the first time. This WON't happen to you though. I have a twisted colon, which is apparantly quite common in women. Supposedly colonoscopies are usually easier to perform on men. Anyway, the anaesthetic was awesome. I have to have another one in 3 years and will definitely ask to be anaethetised next time. I doubt you will have any problems though, so hopefully I haven't scared you off. The procedure is actually really straightfoward and not scary at all.

[joeinjapan]

I see, thanks for your honesty. May I ask what you were eventually diagnosed with, if anything? Sorry for all the questions, but the only thing stopping me having a full blown nervous breakdown at the moment is this website and praying/talking to God a lot.

[Lilharry]

I'm perfectly healthy, according to all doctors/specialists I've seen. I'm seeing a naturopath who is treating me for candida overgrowth - a lot dietary changes required, but I'm finally seeing good results.

I know how you feel. I was a complete mess for about a month. I couldn't function at all. Please don't feel like you're alone. You don't have cancer and the procedure will be just fine, try and give yourself a break. Our minds do terrible things to us.

Also, tail bone pain can be a real pain in the behind! If you've bruised it (and you often don't even realise when you've done this) then the pain can linger around for ages and you're probably aggravating daily just by sitting etc.

[joeinjapan]

Thanks, your words mean a lot to me right now - there is nobody around me I can talk with like this, I'm having to maintain somekind of "face" in front of family, friends and work colleagues...it gets very draining after a while.

I'm also committed to reforming my diet and lifestyle; I've started juicing fruit and veg, stopped eating meat and no more processed crap at all. I'm also drinking gallons of water, no more coffee or alcohol for the time being. I've been doing this for about 2 weeks and already think I'm seeing some benefits: no more bloody stools recently and tailbone/rectum ache seems to have subsided to a niggle and twinge level. I can't believe how many years I've wasted not caring about diet and lifestyle...talk about eating and drinking yourself into an early grave

[justice38]

You are on the right track but a word of caution. Don't get to stressed about the food you are eating. Take your time and don't fall prey to going overboard. Our types of personalities seem to be the all or nothing which causes extra stress which is probably the bulk of your ( my) problem. It has taken me years to learn this and I don't know if I will be able to ever get where I need to be but I'm working on it.

As far as your tailbone pain I had it so bad I would have to stand up or lay down. I could sit sometimes but would have to be careful. You sound so similar to me that I am sure you will get the same diagnosis which will relieve the bulk of your symptoms.

Good luck