Intrusive thoughts ruining my life :/

[worried 101]

hey amy.
dont beat yourself up over the fact that you told him.there is no shame in what you are going through, its a horrible and terrifying experince and i can totally understand why you would need him to know.
its probs just a bit of a shock to him as he may not have been aware of what has been going on for you, but he will understand that its not your true feeling but actually what this horrible anxiety does to people.
give him time and he will be ok.
xxx

[cally24]

Oh my god, I actually had no idea this was a form of OCD or that other people experienced it! I picture scenarios in my head where I lose my temper and get violent, where I throw things around, break or destroy something, or physically harm someone. They make me feel so ashamed and embarrassed, and worried that one day they will actually happen.

I could have cried reading this thread, I honestly thought I was just insane. I'm sorry I can't offer much in the way of advice, just another experience.

[bluebottle]

Very recently this story was in The Guardian. http://www.theguardian.com/society/2...he-naked-truth I have found that the best way to beat these thoughts is to just think them as they appear. They will go in the end. Trying not to think them make them worse. Be gentle with yourself, it is just the mind and you are absolutely normal. OCD is very common. Everyone has thoughts such as these but most ignore them. It is the sensitive people who find them so shocking.

[worried 101]

hey.
i just thought id see how people were doing now?have the anxities gone down at all?x

[aaaamy22]

Hey worried 101, yeah I suppose it has, but now what's bothering me is that I no longer seem to care when these thoughts come into my head, like I don't really get distressed when it pops up, which is kind of bothering me in a way because maybe this isn't OCD and I'm just crazy? :\

[NorthernGeek]

For me the intrusive thoughts are often aggressively self critical as well as full of distressing images about how easily I could inflict harm on myself. It's as if some part of me is constantly trying to punish me for making such a mess of my life.

On good days I try to dismiss them by distracting myself, on bad days though they are harder to avoid & can be very upsetting.

Now that I am finally getting medical help for my long term problems with 'depression, anxiety, obsessive worrying etc', I am hoping that I might also be able to tackle the intrusive thoughts at the same time.

[worried 101]

I get where you're coming from amy, I sorta feel like they are just part of me now and I am so tired of fighting these thoughts off. I think we are probably more just tired out and so used to having bad thoughts its not much of a suprise when they do pop in to our heads.
God I just wish I felt better, when I'm not anxious everything is fine and then as soon as the anxiety comes again it overwhelming.
My partner and I have got engaged and this has caused huge anxiety issues for me which I am trying to deal with, my partner is amazing and I do love him and I try to hold on to that as don't want this OCD to destroy my life.
Hows everyone else doing out there?

[Shaznayhawkes]

Hey worried 101, yeah I suppose it has, but now what's bothering me is that I no longer seem to care when these thoughts come into my head, like I don't really get distressed when it pops up, which is kind of bothering me in a way because maybe this isn't OCD and I'm just crazy? :\

This is how I feel too. Like worried 101 said, I think you get so exhausted from fighting these thoughts that you can't fight them any more. For me that made it seem like im not bothered by these thoughts, and my fear that this could all be real and I don't actually love my partner could be a reality. However, if I really didn't love him and I didn't have the energy to fight it, that would mean id reached the end with my partner, and i definitely haven't!

I always seem to find christmas difficult, for a variety of reasons and it causes my OCD to rear it's ugly head. I'm trying very hard to remain in control, but the fear of loosing it over christmas (again!!) makes that very hard.

I'll be thinking of everyone who may be working just as hard over christmas and I genuinely hope that you have a lovely christmas x

[worried 101]

It seems like alot of us struggle over christmas,i find it really hard,think its sort of the expectations to be all smiley and happy even if we dont feel like it.plus its just generally a stressful time. i got stressed today as my partners chidren have been a pain and then my mind makes me think all those horrible thoughts. its such a struggle and just so tired from it :( like you say shaznay i hope eveyone really does have a wonderful christmas and hope 2013 brings less anxietyfor all!xxx

[Shaznayhawkes]

I think your right, the expectation that comes with christmas that everyone is happy and having a fantastic time makes the anxiety worse. When I badly want christmas to be perfect, my mind takes me to the opposite end and starts on all the things that would ruin it, which ultimately brings me round to the ROCD again. It's exhausting. And it's not just the thoughts, it's the physical feelings they bring with them. It makes the thoughts seem all the more real and means I have to work even harder to stay in control.

I hope the children weren't too bad in the end xx