Watched my own party through the window!

[claypole44]

Hi

Hoping to get some help with my anxiety and panic attacks which I was self managing quite well until last week. My partner suggested having a party in the garden as a way to chill out after working hard for months.I am usually fine with social occasions but I had 3 panic attacks leading up to the party then a mother of all attacks just as people arrived.

I ended up passing on my excuses, saying I was ill and spent the whole night hiding in my bedroom watching the party through the window. It was awful and embarrassing as I had invited new friends who didn't know each other. My husband wasn't best pleased either as he had to host on his own.

I am totally baffled by it. I'm getting more scared of drinking alcohol and having an attack afterwards so I don't drink anymore. I'm increasingly anxious about nights out in case I have an attack. I don't want to become isolated as I have a good social life.

I don't really have anyone to talk to about it as I'm ashamed and don't want people to think I can't cope.

[Speranza]

Please don't be ashamed. I can guarantee someone will come along who has done something similar!!

[Spot-the-frog]

and a big

[Eyji1]

I know how you feel. I went to concerts and out drinking with friends all the time. As I got more and more anxious and stressed in these situations I would make a habit of withdrawing myself and telling everyone "I'm not feeling well, I'm getting sick or something." For the last 2 years I haven't really gone out at all. I don't feel like making excuses or putting myself in situations I find harmful for myself. Right now I'm working on building myself up mentally so I can start to handle these situations again. But it takes hard work and a lot of time.

Hang in there Claypole. You'll work this out somehow.