Thinking about trying to get pregnant next year but worried I won't cope!

[GirlAfraid23]

I'm 25 next year and I'm moving out with my long term partner (will be 5 years next year).

Lots of my friends are starting to get pregnant and have babies and I'm starting to want to as well.
I figured if I start trying in the next year or so, it may take me a little while as it normally does for most women so I have read.

I've always wanted a family but terrified I won't be able to cope due to my extreme anxieties.
I am worried I will end up with PND and reject my child.
I am also terrified of giving birth and want to opt for an elective cesarean if I can.

How does everybody else cope when pregnant or trying?
I am convinced that my anxieties and panic attacks are sometimes so bad I might just lose the baby anyway.

[SarahH]

25!!!!!

Personally I think that is very young and with your anxiety levels at the moment do you not think it would be a good idea to wait a few years until it has settled? IMHO xx

[GirlAfraid23]

25!!!!!

Personally I think that is very young and with your anxiety levels at the moment do you not think it would be a good idea to wait a few years until it has settled? IMHO xx

It's not that unusual in my friendship group and with the people I grew up with. I'm kind of falling behind if anything.
I just feel I might be ready in the next year or so.
I want to be in my late thirties/early forties when my children are in their teens, I think it has something to do with my parents being a bit older.

[SarahH]

OK so this is going to sound harsh but believe me it is meant with kindness...

I would never have got pregnant because it was "not unusual in my friendship group" or I felt like I was "falling behind if anything".

Sorry

[GirlAfraid23]

OK so this is going to sound harsh but believe me it is meant with kindness...

I would never have got pregnant because it was "not unusual in my friendship group" or I felt like I was "falling behind if anything".

Sorry

No that's not the reason I want to. God I'm not that mad lol.

I just meant its not unusual because you seemed shocked about being 25.

I actually want kids, I'm very broody and had enough of going out and getting pissed up on the weekends. I'm ready to settle down really.

[SarahH]

OK....it's just unusual in my area I suppose.

But still think MAYBE you need to get this anxiety licked before hand.

Sarah

---------- Post added at 17:12 ---------- Previous post was at 17:11 ----------

Hormones can do strange things to your body

[GirlAfraid23]

OK....it's just unusual in my area I suppose.

But still think MAYBE you need to get this anxiety licked before hand.

Sarah

---------- Post added at 17:12 ---------- Previous post was at 17:11 ----------

Hormones can do strange things to your body

Yes I know that's why I posted about it lol

The thing is I may not be anxiety clear (if ever) until I'm in my 40s for all I know.
I am going to carry on my counselling but that's all I can do.
This anxiety has stopped me doing enough things in my life, I don't want it to stop me having a family too.

[Elizzy]

Very interesting thread, I can relate to the desire for having a family, but having anxiety dampen the enthusiasm. I'm 28 this year and more keen on having my babies throughout my 30's. However I don't want to suffer from panic attacks, etc. - so I'll take this time to work on it. Another thing that makes me anxious about having kids, is how the world is today - there is just so much to worry about. Violence, moral issues, cyber bullying, allergies - I'm almost on the fence and not 100% sure about having kids anymore.

Best of luck with your healing

[GirlAfraid23]

Very interesting thread, I can relate to the desire for having a family, but having anxiety dampen the enthusiasm. I'm 28 this year and more keen on having my babies throughout my 30's. However I don't want to suffer from panic attacks, etc. - so I'll take this time to work on it. Another thing that makes me anxious about having kids, is how the world is today - there is just so much to worry about. Violence, moral issues, cyber bullying, allergies - I'm almost on the fence and not 100% sure about having kids anymore.

Best of luck with your healing

Thanks.
Yes I can relate to those things too.
I think people with anxiety do have children and they do cope but it's going to be a long road. I'm just glad I have a supportive partner.

---------- Post added at 20:11 ---------- Previous post was at 20:03 ----------

I think for me it's also because I would have something to focus on. As strange as that sounds, I wouldn't have time to worry as much as I do now.
If I had a little boy or girl that I doted on and loved as I'm sure I will, my complete focus will be on them. Making sure they're happy and sorting out their life.
I would hope it may be the making of me and I hope I am a "natural" although I probably won't be!

[starlight78]

To be totally honest you will feel anxious during pregnancy and as a mum, because just about everyone does! Don't get me wrong, if you are very unwell then now might not be the time to start a family, however if you are stable and managing well, but worrying about anxiety if you get pregnant, then I wouldn't let it stop you.

People have different goals and life plans and its not at all strange to be starting a family in your mid twenties if that feels right for you.

I worried about having a baby for about a year prior to conceiving. I would wake up in the middle of the night panic stricken with thoughts 'I'm trapped, theres no way out' what if I get pregnant and don't want it? What if I get so unwell I can't cope?
I'm 20 weeks pregnant now and I've had wobbles, but I'm doing good! I did start some CbT prior to getting pregnant as well as researching medication in pregnancy as I wanted to be the best I could be, but I knew it would spike my anxiety - I was ready for it!

Don't let fear of fear stop you from achieving your goals! Once you're pregnant you just do it! Lol.. It sounds daft, but something else takes over some how and your focus changes.
I'm so smitten with my little one already. Loving something so much is scary, but its worth it x